Treasures of the Inkwell
by Tessa Honeybee
Summary: Over twenty years have passed since Bugs misplaced Oswald and Ortensia's inkwell. In the meantime he's tried to make up for his mistake, by mentoring and raising three zany children. But Bugs failed to tell them they were never meant to be drawn orphans. When the truth comes out in 2006, Oswald is back to claim the family that is rightfully his. Sequel to Walt's Lost Treasure.
1. Dreams and Ice Creams

February 9, 2006 12:00 pm

"Republic Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean, Greenland, El Salvador too." Yakko Warner hummed in his sleep. Unaware of the late hour, Yakko slumbered through all the mid day distractions. Not the blinding sunlight shining over his head, the tweeting blue bird outside his window, or even the booming sounds of his siblings roughhousing downstairs, could wake him. Yakko's mind was too deep in a crazy dream. Inside his subconscious, Yakko watched himself from third person perspective, explore Wackyland with his siblings. All around them, creatures Yakko liked to call 'living puns' aimlessly scurried about the abstract landscape. Then the scenery changed to a more familiar concrete setting. Yakko slipped down a spiraling checkered slide that dropped him into the set of his most famous cartoon.

"And now, the nations of the world, brought to you by Yakko Warner." A disembodied voice announced. Yakko knew the routine better than the back of his hand. So he didn't hesitate to pose and dance on cue when his name was called. Without error, Yakko sang out the nations' names and pointed to every one of them. However, during the first musical break Yakko glanced away from the map, and realized something was very wrong. Beyond the map's blue background, a thick blackness covered the set. Yakko stopped dancing, and the music slowed; mimicking Yakko's weariness. The lights, camera, crane-truck, mics, and even the humans were all lost from his sight.

"Hello?" Yakko beckoned into the darkness. "Rob? Rusty?" No answer came. Suddenly a distant blood red light poured down on Yakko, painting all his features the same color. Up where the rafters would be, a doorway seemed to open and a stout human silhouette shouted to him.

"That's enough!" The human barked. He held his flat palm horizontally, and raised it over his head. "I've had it up to here with the damage you three caused! You're too dangerous to keep around here another minute!" Yakko glanced side to side for his siblings, but they were absent. Then he stared at the mystery man again.

"Exqueeze me, but uhhhhhh... There's only one of me." Yakko corrected.

"Get off my studio lot!" The man hollered. Suddenly what remained of the set shattered to pieces. Like a bullet through a window, the map exploded in jagged debri. Yakko hit the deck, dodging most of the multicolored shards. He slammed his face to the floor and covered his eyes. When the screeching sounds of glass sliding on glass ceased, Yakko lifted his head off the floor. But now he found not even the wreckage remained. All he could see was himself, the red doorway, the silhouette, and darkness. From the man's left, he pulled over a cannon on wheels. At that moment all chances of the man intimidating Yakko were turned to dust. Yakko couldn't help snickering at the display. The stranger tried to scare him with a hellish red glow, and now he prepared to get rid of Yakko in the most cartoony way possible. Yakko shrugged, deciding to humor the man. 'We all gotta get knocked down some time.' Yakko thought casually. 'Unless you're the Road Runner.' He considered.

The blast seemed imminent until the shadows of a scrawny arm holding up a giant mallet appeared in the doorway. For a moment the arm held the mallet over the cannon man, as if giving a silent warning. When the man dramatically showed off a lighter, the arm swung the mallet down, smashing the man into a pancake with shoes. Yakko breathed a surprised laugh. Next the arm picked up the flattened man, rolled him up, shoved him in the canon, and fired. A booming clap shook the atmosphere as a screaming contrail soared from the canon. Yakko sensed the impact of volume breaking through the dead, still air. The human cannonball soared higher and higher, until a single white star twinkled on the pitch black ceiling; symbolizing that he had blasted off out of sight.

Above Yakko, the blood red doorway brightened into a gentle white glow. Yakko studied the doorway curiously. Judging by the movements of the shadows, someone else was very active up there. The arm moved the two hundred pound cannon off to the right with only the force of a pointing finger. Then unknown toon who possessed the arm, sidestepped into the doorway. Yakko immediately identified the form as a long eared rabbit. While resting the mallet on his shoulder, the rabbit poked at something outside the cropped light. The white doorway dimmed to grey, and lowered like an elevator down to Yakko's level. He even heard a faint 'ding' when the doorway regained its brightness, and let the rabbit out. But then the doorway flashed away in the dark, and Yakko couldn't see the silhouetted rabbit anywhere. Finally with every last spark of light gone and no one to talk to, Yakko began to fear the darkness, silence, and loneliness. Yakko gulped before attempting to reach out to the rabbit; hoping he was still in existence.

"Hello?" Yakko voiced cautiously. Some paces away, a golden spotlight clicked on. Naturally Yakko approached it. But before he could enter the lighted ring, a hind paw slid its way in. Yakko measured up the stranger from his white toes to his tall ears. He tried to calm himself but he was still too frightened to believe his luck. Bugs Bunny seemed to understand, placing a comforting hand on the quivering toon's shoulder. Both of them stepped under the spotlight.

"I'll take it from here, Doc." Bugs assured. Yakko blinked at him. That was the shock of reality that woke him up. Heavy eyelids shot open, then swiftly closed to block out the overbearing sunlight. Yakko pulled his turquoise blanket over his head, internally groaning. He should have realized he was only dreaming, and woken up hours ago. But he just had to see how that dream would end. The doorknob twisted on the opposite side of the room. Yakko glanced at his digital alarm clock, before shutting his eyes. 'Gee, noon and someone _just now_ decides to wake me up?' To Yakko's surprise though, it wasn't Wakko or Dot at the door. Instead the Oscar winning wascally wabbit himself, poked his head in.

"Rise n' shine, Doc." Yakko met the rabbit's eyes with genuine surprise. Not because seeing Bugs was anything unusual. The Warners resided in his mansion after all. Yakko just didn't expect the rabbit to be home at this hour. It was Yakko's understanding that Bugs was currently overbooked with rehearsals for the 'Baby Looney Tunes' series, and didn't have much time to goof off with his three charges. 'Who knew a demographic o' toddlahs could be so demanding?' Bugs once commented.

"What's going on?" Yakko yawned, sitting up in bed.

"A raincheck." Bugs stated halfheartedly. "Wanna catch lunch?"

"Oh, yeah." Yakko hesitated, still a little confused. Bugs let himself in the room.

"Too late for breakfast, but not in da mood for lunch." The rabbit assessed. "What to do?" He paced back and forth, pretending to be in deep thought. "I guess we'll just have to settle for ice cream. If yer up for it, dat is."

"I'm up!" Yakko exclaimed. The Warner cloaked himself in his turquoise blanket and dashed into his closet. A moment later, the Warner emerged in his trademark khakis and belt.

"Alright, head out to da garden before your bruddah eats his own stomach bag-Ahh! Gasp!" Bugs yelped. Yakko's attention anxiously darted to the hall. A sickly green coated little rabbit stumbled into Yakko's room. The poor toon slouched forward with his ears drooped flat against his cheeks. His blue eyes hardly opened.

"Hi, Uncle Bugs." The young rabbit sniffed.

"Clyde! What's da matter wit' ya?" Bugs cried. Kneeling down, he grasped his nephew's shoulder and felt his forehead. Relieved to detect no fever, Bugs released him. "Dat ain't your usual color." Bugs perceived more calmly.

"I'm sick." Clyde whined. Bugs wrapped his only ink relative in his arms to carry him. Clyde latched his arms around Bugs' neck, in need of the warmth and comfort.

"I knew dere was a reason I shoulda stood home." Bugs sighed. "Sorry ta get your hopes up, Doc." Bugs apologized to Yakko, as a last thought before leaving the bedroom. Yakko watched the rabbits disappear up the hall.

"It's okay." The Warner mumbled to himself, despite feeling empty inside. Meanwhile, Bugs carried the unnaturally green bunny around the corner, to the kit's bedroom on the outer wall. On this particular floor, the spacious bedrooms, plus their personal bathrooms and walk in closets, shared walls in a cube shape. The hallway stretched around the three neighboring bedrooms. Wakko's was the only one that didn't have a window. While the entrances to the Warners' rooms were all on the left side of the square hallway, Bugs' and Clyde's two rooms were on the right. Bugs pushed the familiar chestnut door open. Turning on a light, Bugs' feet tread over dark red shag carpet, and the rabbits' shadows cast over blue walls. All of the wooden furniture in the room was fit for Clyde, except for his full sized bed. Bugs gently tucked the small rabbit under the covers. Clyde tried to rest, closing his eyes. However, simply breathing was a burden, that kept him from relaxing. Bugs stroked a hand over his nephew's laid back ears, taking in Clyde's reddened nose, heavy mouth breathing, and miserable expression.

"Anyt'ing I can get for ya, Clyde?" Bugs asked.

"What'd ya say to Yakko, Uncle Bugs?" Clyde queried. Bugs' whiskers twitched curiously. Answering a question with another question, seemed suspicious of Clyde. Especially since that was a tactic Bugs taught him, to get his way. Something was up.

"I told 'im we could go out for ice cream." Bugs played along. "But I gotta take care of you foist." Clyde ducked half his face under the blankets to cover a sneeze.

"Did ya promise him, Uncle Bugs?" Clyde inquired.

"No. Just offered." Bugs answered.

"You should still go." Clyde insisted, opening his eyes. The sickly rabbit showed a brief spark of energy in his eyes. His intentions were clear to Bugs now.

"You want me ta bring ya back a carrot smoothie?" Bugs deduced.

"Well, since you offered." The green rabbit witted. 'Sly bunny.' Bugs thought. Not that he would fall for the ploy.

"Now Clyde, you're greener den Witch Hazel. I ain't leavin' ya home all by yer lonesome." Bugs affirmed.

"Oh, please Uncle Bugs?" Clyde pleaded. He held his throat, and forced a tiny wheeze. Not a second later, Bugs submitted to his stronger instincts, to spoil his nephew with his every desire.

"Alright. But if I come back ta find dis place in shambles, yer grounded 'til yer parents get back from Peru." Bugs warned.

"I don't have any parents, Uncle Bugs." Clyde weakly smiled.

"Exactly." Bugs jested. The Looney Tunes star gave his nephew a parting 'Love you', and left to catch up with Yakko. Bugs quickly located the teenaged Warner on his way down the grand staircase connecting the family bedrooms floor with the lower guest bedrooms floor. Still feeling a bit groggy from oversleep, Yakko was in no real hurry. "Hey Doc." The rabbit called. Yakko stopped in his tracks, letting Bugs catch up to him. "How does milkshakes sound?"

Moments later, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot followed Bugs outside to his carrot patch. The soil was bare of crops and would be for a few more months. Lining the perimeter of the field were evenly spaced rabbit holes, each leading to some of Bugs' most common destinations. Burrowing was the only way the rabbit preferred to travel anyway. Nineteen holes across the field, Bugs selected a route.

"Wakko, why don't you lead dis time?" Bugs suggested. The middle Warner stepped up to the hole. In a swift, fluid motion, he leaped twice his own height in the air, leaned forward so his feet leveled above his shoulders, and kicked a spot of solid air to propel him diagonally into the ground. As soon as the dark dirt engulfed him, Wakko scurried down the tunnel. Not far behind, Bugs, Yakko, and Dot did their own unique dives, to follow him. Sure, burrowing was a rabbit trick Bugs taught the kids early on. But even if he hadn't taught them, Wakko had a feeling he and his sibs would have mastered the skill just as easily on their own. For Wakko, burrowing was second nature. He couldn't explain why, but it felt like instinct. Plus he had the strongest night vision to assist him. Wakko swerved through the tunnel, clawing up dirt with his hands and packing it down with his feet. He bounded for the dead end up ahead. Then Wakko reached a nest of tree roots and a wall of dirt solid as rock. The leader arose from his hands and feet. His head broke through the thin layer of earth, taking up a patch of grass with him. Wakko hopped out of the hole and dusted the grass toupee off his hat. Yakko and Dot popped up soon after.

The toons found themselves in Cherrytop Plaza, particularly on a stretch of grass between the sidewalk and the road. Along this stretch, apricot trees (or possibly popcorn trees) began their early blossoming. A rectangular building painted like a Neapolitan ice cream sandwich, welcomed the Warners with an 'OPEN' sign. It was the only creamery in uptown Toontown that served dairy free ice cream. The Warner siblings waited for Bugs to surface, when suddenly car horns randomly blared all over the plaza. Toons applauded and beat on metal objects, making as much noise as possible. Some threw their hats in the air. The Warners clutched their ears and gritted their teeth at the commotion. Interesting enough, the trio could name a lot of the toons who were celebrating. The Mad Hatter and the March Hare tossed cigars to everyone. Tramp and his gang of stray dogs howled in chorus. Stitch climbed up on the roof of a variety store across the street, and shot off green plasma from his alien weapons. Lilo, being just as overjoyed as everyone else, did nothing to contain him. Even Roger Rabbit joined in the fun by blowing an air horn. It didn't take a genius to figure out the one thing the lively characters all had in common. But just in case someone couldn't guess it, a red firework baring the image of Mickey Mouse's face, blasted into the sky. The crowd hollered even louder, and jumped for joy at the sight. Yakko's keen mind noted that the fireworks came from far out of Toontown. Obviously this was bigger than a publicity stunt in the market. So what in the world was Disney so happy about? Next a blue shape exploded in the sky. However to the ignorant eye, this firework looked like a mistake. It was a perfect circle with two baseball bat shapes sticking out of the top. But that didn't deter the ecstatic toons. They clapped, whooped, and carried on, until one toon got the idea to leave. In a rapid blur they vamoosed, presumably to spread the good news. Whatever it was.

"What was that?" Dot whispered. Her voice sounded strange in the awkward silence the Disney toons left behind.

"I don't know, sister sib." Yakko confessed. Bugs' arm suddenly stretched out of the rabbit hole with his ears in a fist. He hoisted himself up in mid air, before landing his feet on the grass.

"Say, you kids are getting fast." Bugs complimented. Instantly the rabbit caught on to the Warners' completely bewildered faces. "What's wrong?" He wondered.

"Uhhh, nothing. Just some weird street performers." Yakko fibbed.

"And they had fireworks." Wakko added.

"Yeah, dat's just one tacky t'ing post-show biz toons will do for a quick buck." The rabbit disregarded. "C'mon, let's eat." Bugs redirected. Remembering their severe hunger, the Warners plowed their way through the shop's glass doors. Bugs was happy to see they actually _opened_ the doors this time.

"We're baaaaack!" The Warners announced. Just inside the parlor, their bare feet made a jarring stop on the checkered floor. It was clear to see their usual seats at the front of the bar were taken by teenagers, who looked like they were still living in the '50's. In fact just about every table and booth in the place was occupied. Bugs held Yakko's and Dot's opposite shoulders, squeezing Wakko between them.

"Don't let it bother ya, Docs. We're taking da shakes on da road." The rabbit informed. He lightly gripped Yakko and Wakko's foreheads and physically turned their attention to the center of a row of tables and benches lining the windows. There sat three fairly attractive female human toons. Each had black hair and dressed in similar shades of purple. "Wait over dere for a minute." Bugs instructed, before stepping passed the Warners to get in line. Yakko's tongue hung out, mimicking his brother's.

"Ooh! Booth babes!" Yakko ogled. The boys zoomed over, and climbed in the booth to sit on the girls' laps. Yakko laid across two girls, while Wakko hugged the third girl at the waist.

"Helloooooo Nurse!" They howled, as their eyes animated into red hearts. The girl who had Wakko's overbearing attention, squirmed and dug her long pink polished claws into his arm to free herself.

"Ewww! Like get this major weirdo off of me!" She demanded in a shrill nasally voice. Wakko was a bit put off by the girl's hideous voice that didn't match her looks at all. Unsure of what to do, Wakko made a Gookie face. The girl squealed even louder. Wakko looked to his brother, still sprawled over the two stunned girls.

"She makes me nausious. Move over, will ya?" Wakko pleaded. Yakko sat up and put his arms over the girls' shoulders possessively.

"No way! Go upchuck on someone else." Yakko objected. Finally the group leader, uttered an annoyingly squeaky grunt and slipped away from Wakko. As she hurried to the exit, her lackeys finally spoke up.

"Mandy! Wait for us!" The girls cried together. They pushed Yakko out of the way, and ran after their queen bee.

"I wonder if they're a hive mind." Yakko thought out loud. Once the spectacle of boyish impulse was over, Dot sat down next to Wakko.

"So what do you think happened at the studio that made Bugs bail?" Dot asked.

"My guess is it was blonde, dumb, and slutty _-ahem!-_ sporty." Yakko coughed. Wakko and Dot knew exactly who he implied. It was no secret that the sexually provocative and hardly of age rabbit, who's name will not be mentioned in this story, was head over heels for Bugs. And if you believed the tabloids, Bugs felt the same way. However the Warners knew a different tale, and over the past decade had shared Bugs' annoyance towards her undesired advances.

"She _still_ thinks she's his girlfriend?!" Dot exclaimed incredulously.

"Doesn't she have anything better to do?" Wakko put in. Before the conversation could go on any further, Bugs walked over to the booth, holding three large beverages against his chest and two with his ears.

"Okay, three mango, papaya, quince, cocoanut, persimmon, guava, and avocado, big super duper triple malt shakes to go. One non-dairy, one non-fat, and one extra glucose." Bugs recited, handing the specially marked cups to Yakko, Dot, and Wakko. He then passed on his and Clyde's fruit and veggie smoothies from his ears to his hands. Yakko took a big slurp from the straw and exhaled.

"Ahhh. You're the best secondhand guardian a kid could ask for." He thanked. Bugs' nose wrinkled at the word 'secondhand'.

"Mind how ya say dat, Doc. You don't wanna sound ungrateful dat I stuck my neck out for you kids back in da day." Bugs advised.

"Sorry. You're the best, Bugs." Yakko corrected, feeling a little sheepish. Bugs nodded, stepping away from the booth.

"Well, let's go home now. Clyde's a-waitin' on dis." Bugs said, lightly shaking one of the cups in hand. The four toons strolled out of the ice cream shop and back to the hole they crawled out of. They each paused their slurping to stow their drinks in their hammerspaces. Traveling on all fours went a lot faster with both hands free.

"What'd you get, Bugs?" Dot questioned.

"Carrot and mango blend." The rabbit replied. He plunged ears first into the dirt. "Oh and by da way," Bugs' voice echoed above ground. "you kids gotta tell me what ya want for your boithday dis year." Dot jumped in after him, followed by her brothers. The Warner sister responded in her best Tweety impression.

"Okay. How about a puddy tat, a puppy dawg, moo-moo cow, a giddiyap hawsie, and a wittle monkey."

"Done." Bugs agreed. The rabbit enjoyed the sound of giggling behind him.

Life was as perfect as could be expected. Bugs loved and cared for the Warners like they were his own kids, he spoiled them rotten on outings every weekend, and when he was at the studio filming Bugs trusted the Warners to do whatever they wanted around specified Toontown districts. For three post-canceled cartoon stars, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were living the good life that many toons never got a taste of after their short careers. Everything seemed perfect until the day the Warners' peaceful reality, crumbled beneath them. All it took was one slip-up. After thirteen years Yakko finally discovered the one thing their guardian had ever denied them.

Bugs never told them the truth.


	2. The Call

February 9, 2006 12:24 pm

Bugs and the Warners resurfaced in the garden soil. Ahead of them stretched a long grass field bordered by short decorative hedges. The green open space held a centerpiece of a stone fountain with a statue modeled after Bugs in Valkyrie Brunnhilde garb. The bunny statue clearly associated with the cartoon 'What's Opera, Doc?' balanced on one foot like a ballerina, and poured carrot juice from a Viking helmet held with both arms. At the end of the yard was the white mansion, no _castle,_ with red tower tips that seemed to touch the sun. On the west side of the property, the ground broke off into a steep cliff and a white stone staircase swerved down to the narrow beach. The sound of gentle waves and the smell of sea water could always be detected outside. Despite the benefits of a large property, ocean view, and every luxury he could ever want, it wasn't Bugs' favorite house he'd ever lived in. Honestly he still preferred his old yellow house with the fifty foot ACME carrot juice waterfall, which Chuck Jones specifically designed for Bugs. But this new place was a gift from Steven Spielberg and the Tiny Toon Adventures human crew. Plus Acme Acres turned out to be a nice neighborhood. Also the house was only four blocks from ACME Looniversity. And most importantly, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot had taken a liking to the house the moment they saw it. So Bugs decided to keep the place. But at the moment, Bugs' attention was far from the castle and the yard work.

Still on a mission, the grey rabbit practically kicked open the back door, and left the Warners loitering in the sitting area. Bugs toon sped through the house, holding Clyde's carrot/mango smoothie out in front of him, as if Clyde's life depended on it.

"Slow down, Balto. The serum race is over." Yakko remarked, taking a break from sipping his milkshake.

"You think Clyde's not that sick?" Wakko asked.

"Oh sure, he is. He's as sick as a zombie. But Bugs is still overreacting." Yakko clarified.

"Oh." Wakko said. The middle Warner then shoved the paper cup and what remained of his shake into his mouth. His cheeks temporarily formed into a cylinder shape before, Wakko swallowed the whole cup down. Dot gave her glutinous brother a sour look.

"Well, as entertaining as that was," She deadpanned. "I'm gonna go see if there's something better on T.V."

"We'll go with you." Yakko decided. Dramatically, he pointed to a corridor. "Come potato sibs! To the couch!" Simultaneously the Warners morphed into black potato-like blobs, keeping their original white faces, and bounced away to the nearest T.V. room.

"Boingy, boingy, boingy!" They chanted.

Suddenly the ringing sound of the hall phone distracted the Warners. Anticipating the relentless competition of his siblings, Yakko dove for the red 1950's styled corded phone on the wall, before Dot or Wakko could say

"I'll get it!"

Yakko knocked the phone off the wall, just as his siblings knocked him off his feet. The eldest Warner hit the floor on his elbows and knees. Before his siblings could get the upper hand, Yakko kicked his heals into Dot's chest and Wakko's mouth, keeping them at bay. Dot slipped around Yakko's foot, and tried to pin him down by jumping on his chest. But Yakko sat up, and blocked her attack with a sturdy gloved palm to her face. She stubbornly fussed and reached out, but Yakko was too strong. With both siblings held back at a distance, Yakko put the phone to his ear, and opened his mouth to greet the caller. To his surprise, someone still beat him to it.

"What's up, Doc?" Bugs spoke. Yakko paused in confusion. Was Bugs calling the house from inside the house? Then the real caller's voice sounded.

"Hiya, Bugs. It's me, Mickey." A lighter voice answered. Yakko slapped a hand over his mouth to resist making noise. He released Wakko and Dot, and motioned for them to listen in. They all put their ears to the phone. Yakko knew the chance of he and Bugs answering the phone at the same time was normal in its own unusual way. But Mickey Mouse, the head toon of Walt Disney Company, calling up Bugs Bunny to chat? Whatever mysterious force in the universe that allowed that to happen had captured Yakko's curiosity and kept it under lock and key. Yakko physically could not hang up the phone.

"I couldn't have guessed." Bugs replied sarcastically. "What's the hubbub Disney Parks side?"

"I've got big news. We got the rights back to Oswald's name and all twenty-six of his original cartoons! He's finally a Disney toon again!" Mickey rejoiced.

"Dat's great news." Bugs agreed.

"Yeah, we're having a huge celebration for Oswald at my place tomorrow night. Can ya come? I think Oswald would appreciate it." Mickey requested.

"I t'ink he'd rather appreciate watching me get hit by a bus, than me showin' up ta crash his party." Bugs predicted.

"Aw, c'mon Bugs. He doesn't hate you anymore. He got over that. It's way behind him." Mickey insisted.

"No one gets ovah da loss of dere kid, Doc." Bugs countered. Mickey was silent for a moment.

"Sorry, Bugs." The mouse apologized. "I just really think you should be there. This never would have happened if it weren't for your help in '83." He praised.

"Yeah, and Ortensia would still have dat inkwell if it weren't for me help in eighty-t'ree." Bugs countered. "Sorry, Doc. But I don't wanna open old wounds." He declined.

"Alright, Bugs. I understand. But the invitation is still open for you, Clyde, and the Warners if you change your mind." Mickey accepted.

"T'anks, Doc." Bugs stated.

"Well, goodbye Bugs." Mickey signed off. The Warners heard a click on the other end of the line. Dot and Wakko backed away, but Yakko still held the phone to his ear; frozen and intensely pondering several questions in his mind. Since when was Bugs friends with Mickey Mouse? And what exactly did Bugs do that was so... debatably bad? What does '83' stand for? What did Bugs mean about the loss of a kid? Who is Oswald? Why does he hate Bugs? And most importantly, was Bugs even going to tell Yakko and his siblings they were invited to a party? Eventually Yakko pushed himself off the floor, and returned the phone to the receiver. Since Wakko and Dot were still awestruck from the suspicious conversation, Yakko let his impulse to chat break the silence.

"I'm... lost to the exploration of possibilities that could come from this." Yakko spoke up, dumbfounded.

"Yeah, that was strange. Maybe we should talk to Bugs about it." Dot suggested.

"Nah. We don't wanna give the impression that we spied on him. We'll wait 'till after he takes us to the party. Alright?" Yakko planned. The eldest Warner looked to both his siblings for their input. Or at least he tried to, before realizing Wakko was gone. Yakko's eyes searched up and down the corridor. Though he already knew his brother was on his way to blab the whole situation to Bugs, giving the rabbit the perfect opportunity to think of an alibi. "Wakko!" Yakko grunted.

Meanwhile far upstairs, Wakko leaped out the wall via a portable hole. He quickly peeled the black spot off the wall, and stored it in his gag bag. Steps away from him, was Clyde's bedroom with the door propped open. Wakko kept his back to the wall, and listened for Bugs' voice.

"Who was on the phone, Uncle Bugs?" The ill rabbit questioned.

"Elmer Fudd." Bugs responded instantly.

"Really?" Clyde checked.

"Yep." The rabbit said without a hint of deceit in his voice. Wakko bit his tongue with clenched teeth. Perhaps Bugs only meant the white lie as a joke. But the fact of the matter was, Mickey Mouse invited Clyde as well as the Warners. Bugs tricked his own nephew, out of attending the party. Thus, he surely wouldn't hesitate to deceive the Warners the same way. If Wakko didn't know any better, he'd suspect Bugs was trying to cover something up. Then to Wakko's surprise, the rabbit sidestepped out into the hallway. "Hang on just a minute, while I..." Bugs started. He paused when he noticed Wakko. The Warner's eyes dropped to the black rotary dial phone in Bugs' hand, and then followed its cord to the floor and all the way to Bugs' bedroom. "Hey, kiddo." Bugs greeted. "Did ya need somet'ing?" Wakko returned his attention to Bugs.

"Um... no." Wakko replied nervously. He couldn't stand to see Bugs lie to his face. So the phone call, was temporarily disregarded. "Did _you_ need something?" Wakko countered. The rabbit smirked. He began to gather the phone's electrical cord as he walked. Wakko followed at his heels.

"Well dere is one t'ing, but I don't wanna put you kids t'rough the trouble." Bugs dismissively shrugged.

"Why? What is it? Oh, please tell." Wakko begged, falling for Bugs' ploy. The rabbit opened his bedroom door to Wakko, so they were out of Clyde's hearing range. A carrot themed chandelier brightened the room and its light golden-yellow walls. The polished wooden floor covered a wide perimeter around his king sized bed, then dropped down three steps into an entertainment center with a couch, T.V., and stereos. Bugs skipped the short stairs, and hopped over the backrest of the couch. He then set the rotary phone on a cube shaped legless table beside the couch, where it belonged.

"Well, Clyde could use some cheering up right about now." The rabbit told, picking up the conversation. "And one movie dat's always done dat for 'im is Who Framed Roger Rabbit." Bugs explained.

"That makes sense." Wakko commented.

"However, insert plot device here." Bugs continued dryly. "We left th' VHS ovah at de old place."

"Why didn't you ever go back for his favorite movie? Or just buy it again?" Wakko wondered.

"We left a lotta t'ings in boxes ovah dere. An' call me old fashioned, but dere's no sense in buying an old movie on DVD when your VHS copy woiks just fine." Bugs moralized. "Anyway, if yer interested, you, Yakko, and Dot can take tunnel number four to de old house. And if ya have any trouble findin' da movies, just ask the help. He should be in today." Bugs instructed.

"I don't think he likes when you call him that." Wakko pointed out. Bugs rolled his eyes.

"He knows I rib." The rabbit justified. "So are ya in?" Wakko bowed his head in thought. On account of Bugs' shifty phone call, getting out of the house seemed like a very good idea at the moment.

"Yeah." Wakko answered. "But we've never been there before."

"Don't worry. Just take hole number four. It's a simple path. Ya can't go wrong." Bugs explained. "Here's a key." He offered, tossing the bronze key to Wakko. "And don't take too long." The rabbit advised. Wakko kept the key cradled in the palms of his hands. As he walked out the door, Bugs caught Wakko's pout out of the corner of his eye. Double taking at the Warner, Bugs then noticed how the young toon slouched and drooped his tail. Finally Wakko slammed the door behind him. "What'd I say?" Bugs asked out loud to no one. The rabbit hurried off the couch to check on the usually cheerful Gookie faced toon. After all, what kind of guardian was he to send his charge off in a mood, without so much as asking 'what's wrong'? Bugs threw the door open, but when he looked around Wakko was nowhere to be seen. He began a sprint to stop Wakko at the garden. But he halted at the sound of a familiar muffled cry.

"Uncle Bugs?" Clyde called as loud as he could with a congested nose. The rabbit sighed.

"Coming, sport." Bugs called back.

Another portable hole away, Wakko landed right about where he thought his sibs would be. In the family room connecting with the kitchen, Yakko and Dot lounged in giant blue and purple bean bag chairs that nearly engulfed them. Yakko lazily flipped through channels until a familiar two tone 'clang' made him stop on Law and Order: SVU. Wakko tugged on a black bean bag chair in the corner of the room. Noticing the hushing sound the bean bag made, being dragged over the carpet, Yakko and Dot turned their heads towards Wakko.

"Hey! What'd ya say to Bugs?" Yakko excitedly inquired. Wakko squeezed the black bean bag chair between his siblings' chairs, and laid upside down on it.

"We're not going to the party." Wakko moped.

"Why? Are we grounded?" Dot gasped.

"Did you tell him we were spying?" Yakko interrogated, pointing an accusing finger at Wakko's nose. Wakko swatted it away.

"No. He just doesn't want us to go." The middle sibling snapped. He folded his arms and tightened the frown on his face. Yakko turned down the volume on the T.V.

"Start from the beginning." Yakko requested. "What'd he say?"

"Bugs lied." Wakko stated coldly. The two words quietly dwelled in the heavy atmosphere, until Wakko continued. "He told Clyde, _Elmer Fudd_ was on the phone." Wakko reported. Yakko and Dot scowled to each other in confusion and denial. "He's not taking any of us to that party." Wakko finished.

"Elmer Fudd?" Yakko deadpanned. Having heard Mickey Mouse's voice with his own ears, the excuse sounded down right absurd to Yakko.

"The double-crosser. I'll bet he'll leave us home just so his date won't see four kids biting at his ankles all night." Dot imagined bitterly.

"That might be a legitimate scenario, sister sib, if it weren't for one detail." Yakko disagreed. Though he wouldn't say he gave Bugs the benefit of the doubt. The rabbit was obviously hiding something. "Bugs is the one who doesn't wanna go to the party. Remember, Oswald or whoever hates him." Yakko recalled. Those simple words gave Wakko an insightful thought.

"If he hates Bugs... What if he won't like us either?" Wakko worried.

"No way! We're too cute to be hated." Dot expressed. "And Bugs is just being too Mother Hen to let us have a good time."

"Or he's keeping us out of trouble. But who's to say, unless we met Oswald?" Yakko droned. The eldest Warner perked his ears up at the sound of his own words. It was so simple! Yakko sat up in his chair. "And why don't we?" He blurted.

"What?" Wakko questioned.

"We haven't met a 'special friend' yet that we couldn't handle, right?" Yakko lead.

"Right." His siblings followed.

"So what are we afraid of? We'll sneak out tomorrow night, dance, mingle, and chow down. And if Oswald gives us any trouble, we'll crash his party!" Yakko beamed. Wakko smiled back.

"I'm in." He declared, punching the air in front of him. Dot and Yakko stared awkwardly at Wakko's fist, which he refused to withdraw. "You're supposed to touch it." Wakko explained.

"Goodnight, everybody." Yakko jested.

"We know, Wakko. But it's so cliché." Dot sighed. Wakko mustered his cutest puppy eyes to Yakko. He curled his left arm and legs into a fetal position, while still holding out his right fist. Yakko rolled his eyes, before grasping onto Wakko's fist to stop his brother's begging. Dot followed suit, sealing their pact. Satisfied, Wakko took back his hand, and rolled upright on the bean bag. All the ink flow to his brain was giving him a headache.

"So what do we do now?" Dot asked.

"Well, before tomorrow night, we gotta dig up more dirt on Bugs and Oswald or Mickey if we wanna figure out that phone call." Yakko deduced. Wakko pulled out Bugs' bronze key from behind his back.

"I think I know a way." Wakko announced.

At the start of their journey, the Warners took off like speeding bullets down the pre dug tunnel from Bugs' castle in Acme Acres to his old mansion in the looney countryside of Toontown. However, by the time the Warners arrived, they tiredly dragged their knees in the earth.

"Take hole number four, he said. Don't take too long, he said." Wakko moaned. He crawled under Yakko's legs and laid flat in the dirt.

"Hey!" Yakko yelped, as Wakko's tail unintentionally brushed his underside.

"He never told me it was so far away." Wakko complained.

"We won't get anywhere if we throw in the towel now, sib." Yakko stated. "How ya doing back there, Dot?" The eldest Warner hollered over his shoulder, expecting her to be lagging behind.

"I'm right here!" Dot shouted at the same volume, though she was right at Yakko's heels. Yakko cringed at the noise. "And I'm fine, thanks for asking. I don't know what Wakko's problem is." She relayed in a sweeter tone. Wakko groaned at her. Yakko shook his head, and maneuvered over Wakko to keep crawling. His feet ached from kicking at the tunnels curved walls to spring himself forward, and his wrists hurt from leaning on flat hands the last half of the way. But he was still far from rolling over on his back, and waiting for Bugs to rescue them. A few meters further, Yakko's excellent night vision identified a square of opened soil covered by a cement block.

"Hey, sibs. I think we're here." Yakko alerted. He scrambled forward, and tried pushing up on the block. But it wouldn't budge easily. Straightening out his spine, Yakko used the full strength of his legs and lower back to steady him, whilst he attempted to lift the block with both arms. This time, the cement block gave way just enough for a sliver of sunlight to pour down on Yakko's face.

"Need any help?" Dot piped up.

"No. I've almost got it." Yakko huffed. Suddenly highly pressurized puff of air stung Yakko's eyes. He yowled in pain, and ducked down to dodge a second blast. Thinking he'd been sprayed with mace, Yakko cried without restraint to cleanse his burning eyes. Wakko and Dot barely had time to breathe, let alone ask what was wrong, when black smoke blew in from the tunnel walls. The two younger Warners latched onto Yakko, screaming in terror. Adrenaline pumped through Yakko's veins. With his vision rendered useless, and his siblings pressing him against the wall, he lost all sense of control. Despite all of the gags, weapons, and toon tricks at his disposal, Yakko truly felt trapped.

"I can't see!" Dot cried.

"I'll light a match!" Wakko spoke up urgently.

"Wakko! Wait a minute!" Yakko warned. But it was too late. The cramped space lit up from the glow of Wakko's single match in hand. Of course in typical Warner Brothers animation tradition, the smoke instantly cleared so the Warners could see the tunnel walls were lined with dynamite sticks.

KA-BOOM!

The Warners rocketed from their prison high into the air, leaving a trail of smoke behind them. Instinctively their bodies relaxed, and settled in for the elevator ride. They knew panicking and squirming would only fasten their inevitable drop. As the kids rose in altitude, Yakko studied the grand house Bugs had sent them to. The yellow structure resembling a Jenga tower topped with an observatory dome, unsteadily hung over a rocky peak. One of the many outward reaching cubic rooms shaded Bugs' beloved carrot juice waterfall he'd mentioned often to the Warners. Suddenly Yakko's eyes caught sight of a familiar face watching them from behind a terrace railing. He froze in place, and hooked his arms around his siblings so they could break the law of gravity simultaneously. Wakko and Dot noticed their old friend and shared Yakko's relief.

"Buster!" Wakko exclaimed.

"Hiya, toonsters." The blue rabbit greeted. He leaned his elbows casually on the miniature fence, crafted into a boarder of double B's. "Dropping in for a visit?"

"Trying to." Yakko answered. "But first, help a toon out." He pleaded, holding out his hand. Buster hopped up on Bugs' initials, took Yakko's hand, and reeled the Warners in. The trio glided over the railing, and landed safely on the terrace.

"So, fell for the old smoke bomb under the stairs?" Buster socialized.

"One of us more than the others." Dot glowered in Wakko's direction. Yakko checked over his shoulder for the damage. Behind the carrot juice spouting rocks, a grey and green area was set aside for a garden surrounding a narrow carrot shaped pool. This concrete pool inside an organic garden inside a concrete enclosure, atop a flat rock face, spoke volumes about Bugs' taste. At least to Yakko it did. While following the stone stairs that wrapped around the whole property, Yakko spotted one square that left an open hole and black scorch marks around its edges.

"Yeah. I think we deserve an explanation on that one. Because, last I checked, Bugs wasn't determined to kill us." Yakko remarked. Buster gave a nervous toothy smile.

"Sorry, guys. I did that." The blue rabbit confessed.

"What?!" The Warners yelled.

"What kind of idiot booby-traps Bugs' tunnels?! And the only one to his old house!" Dot emphasized.

"Bugs' orders." Buster explained. "Incase burglars tried to rob one house, he didn't want them getting a free ticket into the next one. And that isn't the only tunnel between the houses. If you took the safe route, you would've ended up over there." Buster pointed far from the house by the edge of the paved courtyard, at an iron gate with a carrot shaped door. The annoyed and tired middle Warner clenched his teeth down on his tongue. Bugs really needed to be more specific about directions. Maybe that was the reason the looney rabbit couldn't follow a map.

"Great. I can't wait for the next surprise." Wakko griped. Buster smirked as he walked over to the sliding glass doors leading into the house. In one corner sat two white buckets, one overflowing with suds. The blue rabbit continued his work where he left off; dipping his hand in a bucket, fishing out a rag, and brushing the rag across the glass. The Warners gawked at the rabbit. Of course they knew Buster's situation. Bugs hired Buster to take care of the house after Bugs moved out. It started out as a summer job, until Buster realized with Tiny Toon Adventures _and_ Animaniacs canceled, his acting career was practically over. So he still nurtured and guarded the house he could never call home, all for the biweekly pay. Finally seeing what their lively and talented friend had stooped to, really hit home for the Warners.

"So, what brings you out to the unofficial Bugs Bunny Museum?" Buster questioned, not taking his eyes off his work. Yakko recovered first.

"We're looking for a movie Bugs left here. And some secrets as a side project." Yakko replied. Buster washed away the last of the soap bubbles, tossed the rag aside, and pulled the door's 'B' engraved handle far to the left. The past Tiny Tune stepped inside, and waved his arm to invite the Warners in.

"My pleasure to be of service." Buster recited.


	3. Dreamboat

The caretaker led the way through the halls without saying a word. That didn't really bother the Warners, since the didn't come for the paid tour. In Yakko's mind the portraits decorating the walls told their own stories without Buster's narration. Hand drawn caricatures of humans next to portraits of their real selves repeated throughout the corridors. Everything about the old house had an innocent and playful tone. It was a nice house, but it had a completely opposite atmosphere of the place Yakko called home. The old house simply had only sky blue walls and green carpet, evoking feelings of security, trust, and calmness. However in the castle, every room varied in shades of red, gold, and even purple; making the atmosphere evoke a sense of power, wealth, and beauty. Maybe it was only apparent to Yakko, but the life Bugs built up in this house seemed a lot more... content.

"Here we are." Buster announced from the head of the group. The left wall disappeared into a white railing with thin pillars. Yakko leaned over the railing while his siblings peaked through the gaps between the pillars, at the drop off into the massive library below. Rather than the bookshelves being rectangular, the top shelves curved up and down in mounds. Each ivory bookshelf towered taller than the previous one, giving the library the illusion of snowy hills from the Warners' high perspective. Not an inch of space on the twelve rows of bookshelves, was unoccupied. Though there was much vacancy on the dozens of shelves that concaved into the walls. Pyramids of cardboard boxes, presumably packed with books, stacked up in the corners.

"Whoa." Yakko breathed. "Didn't know he was this into books."

"There's also records, cassettes, CDs, VHSs, and other past home entertainment relics in here." Buster said. He trotted to the stairwell that started where the hallway dead ended. Hopping up on the rail, he rode sidesaddle all the way to the bottom step. Accepting the invitation to break etiquette rule number whatever, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot followed the rabbit's example, and slid down the railing while adding an enthused 'wheeeee!'. The Warners followed Buster over to a triangular bookshelf underneath the stairs. It consisted of most of the miscellaneous items Buster listed. "So what movie are ya looking for?" The blue rabbit asked, kneeling to the floor.

"Who Framed Roger Rabbit." Wakko answered. Buster ran a finger along the spines of the plastic and paper VHS cases, in search of the right title. Meanwhile Dot began an aimless stroll around the library. She did admire Bugs' artistic style, especially when it focused on something other than carrots. Dot looked to the ceiling, realizing the light fixtures were silver spiked orbs resembling snowflakes. It didn't take long for her to spot another feature about the room she had been blind to while peaking from the balcony. To the far left, the library caved into a smaller two walled room. One missing wall served as the open spaced, doorless entryway, and the opposite wall was completely glass. Curiously Dot ventured inside the half room. Two light blue sofas were pressed against the real walls. Centered above the left sofa, hung the only decoration in the room. A golden framed landscaped painting depicted Bugs and a smaller grey rabbit laying in a meadow with an open book in front of them. The small rabbit crossed his heels in the air behind him, pointed to the page, and smiled up at Bugs. Bugs appeared proud of his young protégé. At the bottom right corner, Chuck Jones' name was signed in black ink as was the number '79'. Dot gave herself a tight hug.

"It's this sort of thing that makes me feel all warm and squishy inside." Dot giggled to herself. "Or maybe it's just something I ate." The painting was indeed precious, however after looking at it long enough, some questionable details came to light. At the start, Dot assumed the painting showed Clyde alongside Bugs, since she didn't know any other toon besides Clyde who had such a likeness to Bugs. However, the true Clyde had blue eyes, grey toes, and distinctly one metatarsal pad, contrary to the other little rabbit who had black eyes, white toes, and three pads on the bottom of his feet. In fact the nameless rabbit resembled Bugs much more than Clyde did. The once cute and charming art piece that brought a smile to her face, now mocked Dot with it's insolvable mystery. 'It should be Clyde. But it just _isn't_.' The youngest Warner pondered. Back in the main library, the Warner Brothers informed Buster of their day's events while they searched for Dot. Now that the desired VHS was safely caressed in Yakko's hand, it was time to go.

"And that's why we're snooping for Bugs' secrets." Yakko concluded.

"That _is_ really shifty of Bugs. Usually he's so upfront around you three." Buster stated. "But if you wanna know Bugs' history with Mickey Mouse, he did happen to tell me how they became friends." He offered.

"Yeah? What happened?" Yakko asked. Spotting Dot in the half room, the boys headed her way.

"Well, it's funny that you're looking for Who Framed Roger Rabbit, because..." Buster began.

"Hey, Buster? Is this Clyde?" Dot interrupted. Yakko and Wakko gave the painting a good look before Buster answered.

"Huh? Oh, no. That's Art." He replied.

"I can see it's art. But who's in the picture?" Dot stressed. Buster rolled his eyes.

"Good one, Dot. How long have you been saving that line?" The blue rabbit complimented sarcastically.

"I don't get it." Wakko pouted, searching for the pun in the painting. Finally it dawned on Buster by the Warners' lost expressions. His ears laid back worriedly as he took a step away from them.

"You don't know, do you?" Buster spoke softly. Yakko awkwardly shrugged. Collecting himself, Buster motioned for the Warners to sit down on the sofas. "Then I think I just found your secret." He sighed.

Back at Bugs' castle, the bedridden Clyde battled monsters on a tiny screen between his hands. Since his frequent sneezing kept him awake, and the flu medicine failed to make him any drowsier, Bugs brought him his Nintendo DS to keep him entertained. The dutiful guardian ran back and forth all afternoon, bringing his nephew glasses of water, hot soup, new tissue boxes, and anything else he required. Hours later Bugs dragged his feet to the empty side of Clyde's full sized bed, and fell face first on the covers. He lifted his head to locate and steal a pillow from Clyde's side of the bed, then he planted his face into it. Clyde set his game down on his chest.

"Uncle Bugs?" He smiled.

"Tell me you didn't sneeze on dis pillow." Bugs chided in a warning tone.

"No, just thanks." The ill rabbit sniffed. With that, no more distractions filled Bugs' ears. The rabbit closed his eyes, and gently drifted off to sleep. Unfortunately he had no clue a short nap would become more than he bargained for. Bugs' lips lifted into a grin, vaguely aware of where his mind was going.

 _"Someone's rocking my dreamboat. Someone's invading my dreams."_ Bugs gleefully belted, prancing through a fog of pink clouds. Ahead of him, the clouds faded, and Bugs beheld one of his most cherished memories. It was the day after his only son Art Melvin Bunny was animated to life. In his trailer, Bugs reclined on the couch, cradling his grey furred bundle of joy in his lap. Delicately Bugs tipped a wide glass bottle of carrot juice into the young bunny's mouth. Bugs' ears twitched to the sound of a signature 'shave-and-a-haircut' knock on the door.

"En-ter." Dream-Bugs replied, not looking up from his son. The door creaked, and in stepped his guest. Bugs lifted his eyes to see his best friend. "What's up, Mel?" The rabbit greeted. Whatever Mel had to say seconds ago, was completely overlooked by the scene in front of him. Half asleep in Bugs' arms, little Art suckled a rubber nipple attached to the glass carrot juice bottle. The man shook his head bemusedly.

"Bugs, he may be a day old. But you know he's still too old for that, you maroon." Mel reminded.

"Shhh! Lemme enjoy dis before he loins dat out." Bugs hushed. The memory became shrouded in pink clouds, then evaporated into a new one. Bugs took a seat on one of the clouds, settling in for the rest of the show.

 _"We were sailing along, peaceful and calm."_ The rabbit continued his song. As if on cue, Bugs' view was filled with a memory taking place two weeks later. On the set of Art's debut cartoon, the little grey rabbit drilled his way out from under the artificial grass, spinning his ears like helicopter blades. Art hovered in mid air for a few seconds before landing his feet on the ground. Meanwhile behind the camera, Bugs bit his tongue and resisted every urge to insert himself into the director's chair. And he would have too, if he wanted Art to die of embarrassment from his dad becoming a backseat director. Turning to the camera, Art pointed to his ears.

"A little trick I picked up at noisery school." He recited. "Uh-oh." The camera view swiftly panned stage right to catch Elmer Fudd, drawn to match Art's age and height, holding the pull string of a toy cannon loaded with a giant cork.

"Okay, you wascally wabbit! I'm gonna bwow you to smitheweens!" Elmer threatened.

 _"Suddenly something went wrong."_ Bugs hummed, anticipating the memory. The cork fired from the cannon, leaving the red inked expression 'POP!' in its trail. Next, Art mentally prepared to dodge the cork, and ride it like a horse. But he missed his chance to jump, and the projectile rammed him right in the chest. The cork sent Art flying backwards, causing the kit's backside and head to slam against the floor. Complaints over repeating the take arose to Bugs' ears. Believing the little rabbit was okay like everyone else did, Bugs voiced his advice.

"Walk it off, kid!" Bugs hollered in support. But Art didn't bounce back or even see stars. He laid on his back, eyes shut, loudly gasping for air. Abruptly Bugs felt the air get knocked out of his own lungs when he realized something was wrong. How could he forget? Yearling toons needed time to grow into their reality bending abilities, before they knew how to use them. Art was still fragile. He had much to learn before he could for example, take a grenade's blast to the face and feel no pain. The humans murmured some concerns, while Art still panted uncontrollably. Bugs sprang urgently towards the stage, only to be stopped in his tracks. Someone already came to Art's aid. The scrawny coyote proudly walked with purpose, holding a stoic look on his face. Calmly he knelt beside the panicked bunny, and picked him up without any hesitance. Nudging down on Art's shoulders, the coyote helped him crouch and lean forward. From there it only took time. Time for Art to steady his breathing and recover on his own. Though it didn't improve Art's condition physically, the coyote supplied the kit with emotional support; rubbing his back until his breathing slowed. Cautiously, Bugs approached the director in his chair. Peeking around elderly man's arm, the rabbit beheld Chuck's thoughtful eyes that could not break away from the coyote's act of kindness. On stage, Art stood up feeling almost back to normal. When he turned to face the good Samaritan, the coyote whispered in the kit's ear words of wisdom that Art would never repeat. Then the coyote stood up, accepted no credit or grateful thanks, and walked away.

"Everything alright, Wile E.?" Chuck inquired pleasantly. Wile E. gave a sharp nod to the director, before disappearing behind a stage wing.

 _"Someone's rocking my dreamboat. Disturbing a beautiful dream."_ Bugs began the second verse. The pink haze unveiled a crisp summer day about five years later. Beside his carrot shaped outdoor pool, Bugs sunbathed on a yellow lawn chair. He tipped his sunglasses up and glanced at the giggling toon children swimming around in the pool.

 _"It's a mystery to me, this mutiny at sea. Who can it be?"_ Bugs chimed amusedly. The flashback showed Art splashing a little black duck in the face. The duckling retaliated by dunking Art's head in the water. It really was a mystery to Bugs _and_ Daffy how the offspring of long time rivals could play together without any prejudice. From the moment they met, this equal understanding of tolerance just seemed to come out of nowhere. The duckling and kit were like brothers ever since. Detecting the sound of wet feet flip-flopping on the pavement, Bugs drew his attention to the pool again. The young toons bolted out of the water and wrapped themselves in beach towels.

"Dad, we're going inside to get some juice." Art beamed.

"Use up da free moichendise foist." Bugs reminded. Of course he referred to the eleven free 'Bugs Bunny and Pals' drink mix boxes he was gifted for doing a thirty second commercial. As the kids passed by Bugs, the rabbit tapped Art's shoulder to distract him while their feathered guest kept walking. The kit looked at Bugs curiously. "I know ya liked Th' Fox an' th' Hound, but ya don't have ta string the duck along." Bugs taunted. Art clenched his teeth, wanting to retaliate in his friend's defense. But to Bugs' surprise the kit whipped the damp towel off of him and threw it in Bugs' face. The rabbit filled his fist with a wad of towel, and yanked it off. He narrowed his eyes vengefully at Art."C'mere, you scamp!" Bugs demanded. Art revved his feet up to speed away famously like the Road Runner. But Bugs latched his fingers around Art's ears before he could escape. In one swift scoop, Bugs lifted the kit up and dropped him in his lap. Holding Art in a bear hug, Bugs relentlessly tickled his young until neither rabbit could recall what began their squabble.

 _"A friendly breeze gave us a start, to a paradise of our own."_ Bugs sang a little off key. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something gave him a chill as the clouds brushed over another flashback. Bugs crouched behind a brown upright piano, in the back corner of a brightly lit, hard floored room. In the middle of the room, five very important humans sat at a rectangular table. They all faced the door, waiting for one toon to take a seat in front of them. The doorknob clicked, and Art skipped in alone. He grabbed the lonely black chair distanced from the table, twirled it around, and sat on it backwards, supporting his elbows on the backrest. Bugs smirked from his hiding place. If the kid was nervous he definitely didn't show it.

"What's up, toonsters?" Art addressed confidently. The man at the center of the group tipped his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose, and then linked his fingers together under his chin.

"Well Art, we've been going back and forth for months over one significant casting decision. Whether we want the Looney Tunes to mentor their preexisting kids, or teach a whole new cast of nonrelative characters." He explained. Art stared at the humans, speechless. Meanwhile Bugs gently pushed the piano away from the wall with his foot. The piano rolled on its wheels to Bugs' whim. Silently the rabbit crept out with a big bundle behind his back. Knowing Art was hanging off of Mr. Spielberg's every word, Bugs deemed it safe to sneak up close to Art. "We'd like to tell you that..." The man paused dramatically. "We've decided to use both ideas to cast a wider variety of characters... and you're one of them." Strangely the kit didn't explode with ecstasy like Bugs had imagined. Leaning over Art's shoulder, Bugs decided to give him a clue.

"Eh... You got the part, Doc." The rabbit simplified. Art stumbled off the chair at the sound of his dad's voice. His eyes were overwhelmed by the radiant hues of an enormous balloon bouquet. The only white one read 'Congrats!' in big dark blue letters. Art's heart must have flipped to see his dad and number one hero holding all the colors of the rainbow by their strings to congratulate him. After all that was the effect Bugs was going for. Finally words returned to Art's mouth.

"Really?!" He cried. The humans chuckled at the little rabbit, and expressed their best wishes for him with a standing ovation. Bugs looped half of his balloons' strings around Art's wrist and lifted him up in a strong embrace. Art joyfully returned the hug.

"It's your show now, son. You're gonna be a big star!" Bugs complimented. He'd never felt so proud.

"And you too?" Art wondered. Bugs amusedly ruffled Art's hair.

"You know I couldn't do it wit'out ya!" He promised.

Suddenly a jolt of anguish ripped Bugs away from the memory. A lump swelled in Bugs' throat, his face heated, and his eyes clamped shut to hold back the tears. Blindly, Bugs tried to navigate himself away from whatever caused him such heartbreak and guilt. But a white flash against his eyelids forced his eyes wide open in fear. The once pink and peaceful clouds became foreboding dark violet. Overhead the dark fog parted into a black hole, and the clouds literally dropped gallons of water on Bugs. He attempted to shelter his head with his arms and ears, but to no avail. As the rain streamed along the tips of his ears and over his face, Bugs couldn't tell the raindrops from his tears. He couldn't say how long he stood there in the downpour, until he sensed his soaked feet were standing in a puddle. Slowly and surely Bugs was losing the fight to suppress the incoming memories. Whispers nagged at him to finish the song. More voices joined in, making the murmuring inside his head louder than the rain. Finally the distraught rabbit fell to his knees in the cold water.

 _"All at once a storm blew us apart."_ Bugs quivered. Ahead of him in the deep violet haze, a string of glittering lights hung in the air. Upon further analysis, Bugs detected a sea of toons dancing under them. Breathing in the smoky air, Bugs' mind transported him back to _that night_. The night he wished was nothing but a nightmare.

The date was Saturday, July 8th 1989. At the end of a tranquil country lane in Toontown, the Hamhocks' farm wasn't so tranquil. The upmarket farmhouse and surrounding property was co-owned by the Hamhock brothers; Piggy, Patrick, Peter, Percy, Portis, and Porky. Normally the farm was only used by the family. But after a sly persuasion from Daffy, Porky caved to invite coworkers and friends out to the farm for just one night, granted that nothing would go wrong. So on the big night, far more guests than Porky anticipated flooded in. Nearly every toon from Warner Brothers and several toons from Hanna-Barbera were present. Most of the guests were in the backyard, drinking, fist fighting, dancing, or trying too hard to do two of the three at once. Meanwhile across the pasture, in the traditional red painted barn, the highest window shutters swung open, and Bugs poked his head out. He spied on the adult party getting more out of control by the minute. He munched on a carrot and shook his head in dismay as Taz spun through a pole suspending lanterns on a wire. That corner of the backyard flickered out into darkness. Lucky for the rabbit he was safe from the chaos, in the barn at the kid friendly party. In his company were two kits, two ducklings, two piglets, and one kitten, who entertained themselves all night by chasing each other around in the haystacks. It brought a smile to Bugs' face to hear the young ones laugh so hard. On the far side of the barn, a door creaked. Bugs leapt from his perch in the rafters over to the peak of the haystack mountain. There he could see Porky marching down the aisle between the empty horse stalls.

"Thi-thi-this has gone far enough!" Porky grumbled to himself.

"You said it, Doc. Why'd ya t'ink I'm hidin' out wit' th' kids?" Bugs spoke up. Porky's eyes shot up to Bugs, not expecting to see him in the barn. He soon sighed, and looked to the rustling haystacks for his son and daughter.

"Pi-piah-Parker? Porcha? Are you te-te-te-two alright?" The pig stuttered. Upon hearing their names the Pig twins, one bald and one adorned with black braids, stuck their heads out of the hay.

"We're okay, Dad." Parker replied in a voice hardly differing from Porky's own.

"I can't complain." Sylvester Jr. said elsewhere in the pile.

"I'm fine." Clyde responded, popping up next to Bugs. Art followed suit and pinched Clyde's ear.

"Correction, cousin. You're it!" Art sneered. Quickly, he bolted down the hay mountain on all fours to avoid being tagged back. Suddenly the game was back on before the young toons could finish their roll call. Bugs sidestepped down to the barn's wood floor. Walking with Porky, he muttered

"Listen Doc. If it were me, I'd've kicked dat screwball duck an' ev'ryone else I didn't like at de moment off me property by now."

"Yuh-You're right. I geh-geh-gotta put meh-meh-ah-my foot de-de-de, put a stop to this." Porky asserted. "De-de-da-Daffy's turning this pep-place into a meh-meh-madhouse. I don't even know why we had to do this here." He ranted.

"Because anyplace else we could afford ta rent don't have a soft host ta walk all ovah." Bugs answered bluntly. Porky gave the rabbit a sour look. Not taking his comment back, Bugs ushered Porky out the door. "Right. You get rid of all th' barflies, and when dey leave we'll break out de firewoiks." Bugs bargained. The pig shook his head, a little perturbed at Bugs now.

"Don't be sih-sih-sill-eh empty-headed, Bugs. Thi-thi-the-there's a fire ban out." Porky explained tiredly. With that the pig walked away from the barn; not looking back. Bugs leaned against the barn's red door, chomping away at another carrot as he mulled over his friend's words. First, fire bans never applied to Toontown. Second, the party's entire purpose was to celebrate the fourth, fireworks and all, on the weekend. Well maybe Porky was just ready to throw in the towel. After all this didn't turn out to be the party anyone expected. Bugs paused his snacking, noticing the kids were strangely quiet. He turned his head and immediately found Art at his feet.

"What's up, champ?" Bugs asked. The kit folded his arms and bent one ear half over his eye, trying to look cool.

"So the firewoiks're off, right?" Art guessed. Bugs stooped to the young rabbit's level.

"Well I wouldn't say dat, now." Bugs implied, summoning a thin box labeled 'ACME Long Lasting Sparklers!' from a hammerspace pocket on his hip. The little rabbit's eyes lit up in surprise. He swiftly snatched the box from Bugs' hand. "Share those wit' ev'ryone. And don't play wit' matches." Bugs cautioned. Additionally Bugs pulled out a metal box with rounded corners. "Here. Use this." The rabbit offered, passing the antique to Art. The device was the size of Art's hand. A jagged inscription of the word 'Superman' marked the silver face. Having a good hunch of what the item was, Art pressed his thumb to the tiny button on the side. The top instantly flicked off, generating a blue flame.

"Whoa! Thanks Dad." Art beamed, gazing hypnotically at the fire. Bugs rolled his eyes. 'Dis bettah not toin 'im into a firebug.' He thought in hindsight.

"You can t'ank me by not losin' dat. It's very valuable... sentimentally." Bugs entrusted.

"I won't." Art vowed, snapping the lighter closed. Bugs nodded.

"Good. Now go play wit' yer friends in da driveway." The rabbit instructed. Art excitedly blew a whistle to the barn.

"C'mon, gang!" He shouted. In a flash the second generation Looney Tunes rushed out, following Art's lead across the pasture. "And stay on da gravel. Watch for traffic." Bugs reminded as the young toons ran off. Art in particular gave no indication that he heard Bugs' last words, which being the long eared rabbit that he was, seemed unlikely. But the elder rabbit let it slide. As long as nobody committed arson, he wouldn't get on anyone's case with the 'I told you so's. Making his way up to the populated party in the backyard, Bugs decided he would sample one more plate from the dessert table before he took the kits home. Speaking of leaving for home, as he bustled through the wild crowd, Bugs' highly sensitive ears couldn't help picking up all sorts of voices claiming they were surely sober enough to drive. The rabbit tried to block out the gossip, when it suddenly hit him like a ton of cement. What was he thinking, sending the kids to the driveway?! Panic-stricken, Bugs snatched a paper lantern off the nearest collapsed pole, and ran with it to the front of the house. Through the maze of oddly parked cars, the rabbit dashed. Then Bugs spotted the flashy light of the sparklers as specks in the distance. The private drive where the young toons played was a narrow gravel road, sharing picket fence boarders with a pasture on either side, and the gate to the main road was unlatched for cars to come and go.

"If any o' dere folks knew I sent 'em into a roadkill trap at dis hour..." Bugs grumbled. The rabbit raced down the drive, kicking up a rooster tail of pint sized rocks behind him. Zooming up to the toons, Bugs came to a screeching halt, and raised his lantern over his head to get a look at the kids. Shadowy lines fell over his glaring face, and the young toons lowered their sparklers cautiously.

"What's up, Docs? Wanderin' dis far from da house!" Bugs scolded. "You shouldn't play way out here in th' dark! You're liable ta get run ovah!" The rabbit lectured. "Go back ta da house where someone can see ya. No one needs ta kiss a bumper tonight." In single file, the young toons dragged their feet back up the drive. Watching their faces illuminate as they passed by his lantern, Bugs did a double take. Only one rabbit walked amongst the little ones.

"Say, Docs? Where's Art?" Bugs questioned wearily.

"We thought they were with you." Sylvester Jr. answered, looking back at him. 'They?' Bugs fretted. After a quick mental headcount, Bugs realized one kit and one duckling were missing. Keeping calm in front of the youths, he ordered them back to their parents, and Clyde to stay with the Pigs. Clyde hesitated to move, feeling something was wrong, but sprinted after the others before he could be left behind. Meanwhile Bugs waved his lantern over the fence posts, searching the pastures for any sign of Art. The longer the seconds crawled by, the more Bugs began to unravel. Desperately he called Art's name, again and again, with no reply. Suddenly a sliver of white happened to catch his eye. Bugs hopped the fence to pluck the white strip of fabric from the green grass blades. While examining it, Bugs noticed how the two ends had matching tears, and when brought together it was clear the fabric was once ring shaped. For example, it could have been a bracelet, or a wristband, or...

That _thing,_ Bugs recognized. That white... _thing_ Daffy always wore around his neck! Only this one was small enough to fit...

"Boys, this isn't funny!" Bugs bellowed into the night. "Where are you?!"

 _"And left me drifting alone."_ The rabbit whimpered, finding himself hunched over and kneeling in the puddle under the violet rainstorm. It all came back to him; not that he'd ever forgotten. But now he remembered where he was, and where he stayed all these years. Despite Bugs' best efforts to move on and save his career, the grief never left the back of his mind. And when it resurfaced, it broke his heart in two every time. No matter how the years passed, there were always new tears to hide, everyday Art was gone.

 _"Someone's rocking my dreamboat. I'm captain without any crew._

 _But with love as my guide, I'll follow the tide.  
_  
 _"I'll keep sailing till I... find... you."_ Bugs sobbed. Suddenly the clouds broke, and all of Bugs' senses numbed. When he came to, he was back in Clyde's room. A small grey rabbit with a tint of green in his cheeks, clenched Bugs' shoulders. Bugs blinked at him confusedly, until he detected the dried tears streaking down his face.

"Uncle Bugs? You were dreaming." Clyde sighed.

* * *

 **Author's Note: JUST TO PROVE I'm trying really hard not to use OCs...  
1.) Piggy Hamhock - 'You Don't Know What You're Doin'!' (1931)  
2.) Piggy Hamhock and siblings - 'At Your Service Madame' (1936)  
3.) Porky's siblings named in - 'The Case of the Stuttering Pig' (1937)** **  
4.) Sylvester Jr. - 'Pop 'Im Pop' (1950)  
5.) Clyde Bunny - 'His Hare Raising Tale' (1951)  
6.) Mystery Duckling #1 - 'Quackodile Tears' (1962)  
7.) Mystery Duckling #2 - 'A-Haunting We Will Go' (1966)  
8.) Porky and Petunia's piglets (with OC names) - 'Bugs Bunny's Christmas Carol' (1979)**


	4. Home Sweet Mole

The Warners sat quietly, taking in Buster's story. Yakko for one had taken in enough to blow his top. His fingers clenched the sofa's cushions with extreme force. Just before he could run his mouth, Buster summoned a flier from behind his back, and passed it around to everyone.

"And if you don't believe me, here's the real proof." Buster insisted. The bolded words **MISSING TOONS** titled the page. Following the title, two profiles and descriptions of the toons divided the paper. On the left, a bulleted list detailed the kit, while the right side detailed the duckling.

Art Melvin Bunny  
MISSING SINCE: July 08, 1989  
AGE: 14  
SPECIES: Rabbit (anthropomorphic)  
EYES: Black  
FUR: Grey/White  
HEIGHT: 2' 4''  
WEIGHT: 21 lbs.  
Regularly wears white gloves.

Salem Sergio Duck  
MISSING SINCE: July 08, 1989  
AGE: 11  
SPECIES: Duck (anthropomorphic)  
EYES: Black  
FEATHERS: Black  
HEIGHT: 2' 0''  
WEIGHT: 19 lbs.

Finally the bottom of the page stated a plea to contact the police, 'if anyone has any information' and the bolded promise: ' **REWARD!** '. Yakko snatched the flier from Dot, hardly waiting for her to finish reading. He shoved the page towards Buster's face.

"How did he get away with this?!" Yakko demanded. For a moment Buster thought Yakko spoke of the alleged kidnapper whom Bugs swore to hunt down and kill. Then Yakko elaborated. "Bugs invited us into his home and practically became our dad the past eight years. And you were just one of his students! How did _you_ get the lowdown on his missing son?!" The blue rabbit hesitated a moment, recalling some old memories.

"He really didn't have a choice, but to tell me." Buster reasoned calmly.

"What do you mean he didn't have a choice?" Wakko doubted.

"Well, that summer Art disappeared, Mel Blanc passed away." Buster stated solemnly. "So naturally the studio scrambled to find replacement voice actors and a new star for Tiny Toon Adventures. That's where I came in." He revealed.

"So you took Art's place after he never came back." Dot gravely realized. Buster nodded.

"Bugs told me about Art when I was still a yearling. Back then Art's face was still in the media, so... It was better to hear the truth from Bugs, than from a news reporter. I took it hard, learning I was basically created just to be an understudy. But Bugs helped me get my mind off of that. In fact he pretty much helped me with everything. You could say I had it a lot like you guys do now." Buster remembered.

"So what made him reject you?" Yakko probed bitterly. Dot shot him a glare for his choice of words.

"Hmph. The final cut of the theme song." The rabbit halfheartedly laughed.

"What do you mean?" Dot inquired.

"When they officially wrote my name into the lyrics, I think Bugs realized Art lost his chance at stardom." Buster explained. The rabbit breathed a heavy sigh. "After that he gave me the cold shoulder, and we were back to square one." Yakko stood up to isolate himself from the group. Facing the wall, his fists clenched at his sides. Yakko hated to kick a dead horse, but he couldn't stop thinking Bugs betrayed them. First the white lie over the phone, and then an unsolved missing persons mystery that Bugs intentionally covered up for years. Suddenly a sinking feeling in Yakko's chest made him suspect that he and his siblings became replacements for Art; more so than Buster ever did. "I'm sorry I don't know much else about Art or Salem. It was always a touchy subject, y'know?" Buster placated. Yakko turned around with a determined look on his face.

"That's okay. We don't need to know any more secrets. We just need answers." Yakko proclaimed. "Sibs." He addressed. "We're sticking to the plan to find Oswald. Additionally, we've gotta interview Mickey too. I've got a gut feeling he knows a thing or two about Art."

"Based on what?" Dot wondered.

"That phone call." Yakko replied. "Mickey really wanted Bugs to go to that party, even though Bugs refused. But when Bugs mentioned 'the loss of a kid' Mickey backed off." Wakko and Dot looked to each other, mentally making the same connection.

"Now we've _really_ gotta check out the party." Wakko anticipated.

"Exactly." Yakko agreed. The elder Warner marched out of the reading corner, expecting everyone to follow him. At least until they left the library. Then Buster would have to show them out. "Come, siblings. We must prepare for tomorrow night." Yakko proclaimed. Trailing behind the Warners, Buster reconsidered how much he was really helping his friends. Of course he wouldn't take back what he said about Art. The Warners had a right to know. However, the more Yakko theorized, the more Buster did the same. 'If Bugs and Oswald hate each other because of the 'lost kid',' Buster paused his train of thought. 'Was Oswald... a suspect... of Art's kidnapping? Would Disney cover up something like that?' Suddenly Buster tensed at the thought of the trouble his friends were heading into.

"You're really going through with this plot?" Buster asked Wakko.

"Yeah. You won't tell on us, right?" Wakko queried.

"Because if you do, we'll stuff you inside a shoebox and hold you hostage for forty-eight hours." Dot threatened. Buster rolled his eyes.

"Relax. I won't turn stool pigeon." Buster assured. "'Besides, if I go blabbing to Bugs, I'll be incriminating myself for poking your noses in business he wants you out of." He continued. "I'm just wondering if there's actually a plan to follow. Y'know, a covert operation instead of twenty seconds of screaming and five seconds of getting kicked out." The rabbit sneered, hiding his real concern. Dot scowled, not appreciating Buster's tone. She grabbed him by the shoulder and looked him in the eye.

"Listen, tough guy!" Dot rebuked. "If you don't want to help us that's fine!

"But if you do want to help us, that's even better." Yakko cut in. Dot glared at him over her shoulder.

"You stay out of this!" She warned. Turning her attention back to Buster, the Warner sister ranted. "But we don't need a babysitter; especially when we're acting out! And about your covert operation idea..." She sassed. "Mickey invited us. We can handle walking in the front door." With a snap of her fingers, Dot strutted away, leaving the blue rabbit dumbfounded.

"Well excuse me." Buster countered. While Dot bounded up the stairs, Yakko held back to confide in Buster.

"Confidentially we've still got room for one more sleuth." He offered, leaning over the rabbit's shoulder. As Buster climbed the stairs, he glanced between the Warner brothers on either side of him. The peer pressure began to set in.

"Listen guys, I've helped ya out enough already." Buster dismissed.

"What? We're solving mysteries, Buster! Where's your sense of curiosity?" Wakko whined.

"Don't tell us being cooped up in here all the time has made you soft." Yakko taunted. Instead of getting agitated by Yakko's game, Buster let his eyelids droop down to give the Warners the most blank, uncaring stare.

"You know I have a job and a social life outside this house, right?" Buster deadpanned.

"Bet ya don't have any of that tomorrow night, Cinderella." Yakko badgered.

"C'mon, Buster. You used to love playing practical jokes on Bugs with us." Wakko enticed. "And that was when he could suspend you. If we get caught tomorrow or the next day, the worst Bugs can do is ground the three of us. That's no skin off your nose." He justified. Buster shook his head in frustration. It was time to put his foot down.

"Maybe not. But as far as mysteries go, my curiosity stops at Art." Buster fumed, hardly keeping his voice steady. "You guys can hunt down whoever you like. I'm not going. If you ask me ignorance is bliss." The rabbit glowered. Yakko and Wakko inched away from Buster, surprised by his sudden negative disposition. Silently taking their last strides up the stairs, neither of the Warners dared to pick Buster's brain. That is until Yakko coolly tossed a portable hole in the middle of the hall. Buster stumbled, nearly falling into the trap.

"Thanks for your help, but I think we'll show ourselves out." Yakko insisted in a pestering tone.

"No problem. Just warn me next time you drop in." Buster muttered, not lifting his gaze from the portable hole.

"Hey, Dot!" Yakko hollered. The Warner sister trotted back to her brother at the sound of her name. "Making sure we take the right burrow out this time." Yakko explained before Dot could ask. The yakking Warner plunged into the black hole first, followed by the cute one. Wakko attempted a friendly smile toward Buster.

"See ya, Buster." Wakko voiced uneasily. Lastly Wakko swan dived into the black hole. Instead of instantly flopping like a fish on the floor in Bugs' mansion, Wakko found himself caught between two sides of the portable hole. Somewhere in the time and space altering darkness, Wakko floated towards Yakko and Dot. Together their white faces, gloves, and feet illuminated in the black void.

"Do you think Buster's hiding something too?" Wakko inquired of his siblings. Dot shrugged.

"I don't know. He's probably just jealous of Art." Yakko predicted spitefully. Something made Yakko lose his sense of balance in the calm freefall. He felt lightheaded. 'There's a sickening thought.' Yakko reflected. 'You never raised the bar, did you Buster? The one Bugs' first apprentice set so high. Did I... however...?' Before he could make himself sick with anxiety, Yakko snapped out of his inner monologue. "No more questions until we get some answers, alright?" The eldest Warner instructed; half to his siblings and half to the inquisitive voice in his head.

"Right." Wakko and Dot agreed.

In an instant the black void spilt open, letting in a flood of light. The portable hole released the Warners in the room with the most carrot-like knickknacks in all of Bugs' castle: the kitchen. The trio lunged forward and caught themselves on hands and knees, before they could crash on the hard, wooden floor. Standing to their full heights slowly, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot awkwardly met eyes with two grey rabbits. Clyde, who had regained his usual color, sat up to the island on an orange bar stool and sipped from a juice pouch. Bugs, adorning a pink apron paused stirring a steaming pot on the stove. He furrowed his brow and put his hands on his hips.

"What kept ya, Docs?" Bugs interviewed sternly. Even though it hardly concerned Bugs that he hadn't seen or heard from the Warners in several hours, he grilled them like the responsible parent figure should. And for once the kids didn't laugh at his act. That was concerning.

"Um." Dot hesitated. "We lost track of time... catching up with Buster." Yakko and Wakko seemed to hold their breath in suspense. Bugs relaxed his posture, giving them the benefit of the doubt. After his relapse, Bugs really didn't need anything else upsetting him. So he ignored the Warners' strange giddiness.

"Well dat's good. Did ya find everyt'ing okay?" Bugs queried calmly.

"Yep." Yakko answered quickly. The rabbit nodded.

"Den go set da table." Bugs said. In a flash the Warners zoomed out of the kitchen, and came back with the dinner table hoisted over their heads. Wakko wore the red velvet table cloth like a cape.

"Where do you want it?" Yakko asked. Bugs played along without delay.

"On da roof." The rabbit replied. The Warners' black eyes bulged slightly in surprise. They had to ask.

"C'mon siblings." Yakko huffed. On Yakko's command the Warners carried the table off, marching to a chorus of "Hup-hup-hup-hup-hup!" Clyde giggled, watching them leave.

"Say, Clyde? Ya wanna help me soive up these plates since yer cousins insist on bein' smart?" Bugs hinted.

"Okay Uncle Bugs, but it'll be cold by the time we get up there." Clyde figured. Bugs tapped his chin thoughtfully.

Moments later Yakko, Wakko, and Dot walked the thin ridge atop the gable roof. On either side of them was a steep slope and then a five story drop off the roof. The balcony was an option. That space would fit the dining table. However Bugs specifically challenged them to fit the table on the roof. And they would not disappoint. Yakko strode up to the chimney, grasping it for balance.

"Alright, Wak." Yakko signaled. "This is the spot." Behind him, Wakko shook his gag bag upside down until the dinner table fell out. The wooden legs slid a foot or so down either side of the roof before stopping. Yakko summoned a rope from his hammerspace, lept over the chimney and lassoed the chimney and two table legs together. Nonetheless the table was hardly secure, and without a flat floor there was nowhere to put a chair. The Warners quickly came to this conclusion.

"So now what?" Dot asked dryly.

"Hey guys, look!" Wakko pointed out. Instinctively Yakko and Dot glanced ahead at the setting sun, shining in an orange sky that retreated into the sea. A sunset as beautiful as any they'd seen in Acme Acres. But that wasn't what caught Wakko's attention. Dot and Yakko turned their heads to find Wakko pointing to a star in a blue corner of the sky. "That one's Jupiter." He beamed. Suddenly the buzzing sound of a helicopter called to the Warners' ears. The siblings searched the sky, but found nothing. That is until Bugs and Clyde flew over their heads, spinning their ears like copter blades. Gradually the rabbits floated down to the ridge, and the spinning grey blurs on their heads slowed into floppy ears. "Whoa. We didn't know you could do that." Wakko awed.

"Well don't look so surprised, Docs. I've been doin' dat trick for years." Bugs snickered.

"Since when?" Yakko quizzed.

"Since always." The rabbit playfully shot back. "Clyde set the table, would ya?" Bugs suggested. The small rabbit wound up his ears again, getting some height over the table, and whipped out cooked dishes and silverware from his hammerspace. At first glance, the Warners eyed the veggie stuffed enchiladas topped with an inch thick layer of guacamole. Suddenly other plates of corn on the cob, homemade potato salad, spaghetti and mushrooms, and bowls of mixed berries flew passed their view, until Clyde had laid out an entire vegetarian buffet. "And if anyone's _really_ hungry dere's a strawberry, kiwi, and cashew pizza in th' fridge." Bugs commented. The Warners broke their gaze from the buffet, noticing Bugs had taken flight again. Brushing his hand behind his back, Bugs summoned a thin white rope, and lassoed it around one of the castle's towers. Next he dropped the heaviest weight of the rope; a string hammock. He dove low, snatching up the loose end of the hammock, stretched it to the edge of the roof's ridge. Speedily the rabbit hammered a nail into the roof and looped the white rope around it. "Oh, and stuff yer plates as much as ya want. I imagine we won't be able ta move much once we sit down. So don't expect ta get up for seconds." The rabbit advised, studying his handiwork.

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot accepted the cue to serve themselves. Wakko and Dot shared the foothold on the ridge closest to the table to fill up their plates. Clyde stayed airborne to pass food to Wakko and Dot before one of them leaned too far and slipped. Yakko picked out everything he wanted with ease from his perch on the chimney. Though he wasn't sure how he was supposed to move to the hammock with the table anchored. Then it hit him. Yakko stood up, feet on either side of the chimney. Bugs watched him curiously. Without warning, Yakko's heels clicked together and he fell down the chimney. Bugs' voice hitched, as he tried to yell Yakko's name; more out of impatience than worry. The slightest shift in the wind brushing through Bugs' whiskers, prompted him to turn around. In the hammock he found Yakko sitting cross-legged with his full plate in his lap. The hammock swung slightly from the Warner's weight being dropped in.

"Dat was quite a stunt, Doc." Bugs breathed.

"Not as 'quite' of a stunt as you flying." Yakko flattered.

"What, dat old trick?" The rabbit replied. Bugs turned on his heel, only to find Wakko and Dot standing directly behind him. He flinched in surprise, then weighed his hand down on Wakko's hat for balance, and stepped around the Warners."Watch yer step on dat rope, Doc." Bugs advised. With that he left the Warners alone to walk a short tightrope into the high suspended hammock; which they did without fear. Yakko scooted to the edge to make room for his siblings.

"Do you think this is dangerous?" Dot asked casually. Yakko shook his head.

"Only if you look down." He informed. Dot nodded in agreement. By toon logic that made perfect sense. Wakko cleaned his corn on the cob in seconds, while Yakko and Dot only nibbled at their enchiladas until Bugs and Clyde came back with their full dinner plates. Bugs skipped over the tightrope, and gracefully bowed into the hammock. Clyde tiptoed across the rope, stumbling into Bugs' side. After Bugs placed his full platter in his lap, he fished five silver canteen bottles out of his hammerspace. Only one canteen had a unique mark, a rubber band around the base, to distinguish the 2% milks from the lactose free milk.

"Yakko. Heads up." Bugs alerted, chucking the unique canteen over Dot's and Wakko's heads. Yakko caught it with ease.

"Thanks Bugs." Yakko said. Eagerly the toons guzzled down their beverages and devoured their meals without hesitance. Wakko wiped his mouth with his sleeve before speaking.

"This is really good, Bugs."

"T'anks Doc. I did da best I could wit only five hours ta prepare." The rabbit joked.

"So... what's the special occasion? Did we miss a holiday?" Dot questioned Bugs. Clyde looked to his uncle worriedly. But Bugs didn't bat an eye.

"No. I just really appreciate having you kids around." Bugs confessed in a soft voice. A relaxed smile grew on his face. Quickly the Warners bowed their heads and stuffed their mouths to hide their guilt.

By the time the toons finished dinner, the sun had set on Acme Acres. Wakko licked everyone's plates clean, and stacked them atop his head to carry back to the kitchen. Clyde tiptoed out of the hammock and onto the roof, followed by the Warners. Bugs took to the night air, strapped a headlamp over his forehead, and began untying the hammock's knots around the tower.

"You want us to help you with the table?" Yakko offered, watching Bugs' aerial maneuvers.

"No t'anks, Doc." Bugs declined. "I'll take care of ev'ryt'ing up here. You kids go start da movie."

"What movie, Uncle Bugs?" Clyde inquired.

"It's a surpri-ise." Bugs sang. The Warner siblings gave each other knowing looks. Wakko nudged Clyde's shoulder.

"C'mon. You'll like this one." Wakko smiled. He pulled an inflatable raft from his gag bag. Still balancing a stack of dishes on his head, Wakko crouched down and leaned the yellow raft against the sloped roof. Yakko put one foot in the raft, ready to kick off.

"Great idea, Wak." Yakko praised. Before anyone could object, Yakko gave his audience a sly smirk. "Yeah. I know it's dangerous. But he who takes chances, is out of portable holes." Clyde hopped in beside him.

"Thank you, Mr. Wheel-O'-Morality." Dot sighed sarcastically. Gently shifting her weight, Dot stretched her leg to the front of the raft, and sprang the rest of her body to where her foot planted. Wakko rolled in behind her.

"Ready? GO!" Wakko signaled. Yakko gave the raft a starting kick. Surprisingly the raft launched down the bumpy roof without a hitch. The toons hollered in anticipation for the big drop off the eaves. Suddenly the raft swooped off the roof. It floated in mid air a moment, before catching its sense of gravity. As the raft plummeted, the toons cheered wildly. The castle's windows pass by rapidly. But just before the raft hit ground level Yakko cued

"Lean back!" The toons slammed their backs into the raft's seat. The raft made a nose dive into the lawn. However instead of throwing the toons flat on their faces, the raft arched and stood on its nose and end. Realizing they were safe, the toons sat up grinning at each other.

"Giddy-up, boat!" Dot ordered. The yellow raft reared up, made a whinnying sound, and trotted around the backyard.

"Pony ride! Pony ride! Pony ride!" The Warners chanted. When the raft reached the outdoor pool, shaped of Bugs' head, it belly flopped in, and returned to its normal inanimate state. Wakko bent over the raft to dog paddle to the pool's edge.

"Gee, that was fun!" Clyde exclaimed, jumping from the raft to the concrete patio. Yakko ushered his siblings off the raft, and through the patio's glass doors.

"Alright that's enough filler. Let's get back to the story." Yakko redirected, pushing Wakko and Dot along. "Wakko, I'll help ya with these." The eldest Warner volunteered, lifting the plates off Wakko's head. He then handed over the VHS they sought from Bugs' library to Dot. She hastily concealed it behind her back. The rabbit trailing behind them was none the wiser. "Dot, you start the movie in the big theater room. We'll be there before the previews finish." Yakko instructed. Dot's brow furrowed. Why did she have to be isolated with Clyde while her brothers plotted behind the rabbits' backs?

"Fine. C'mon Clyde." The Warner sister accepted, toon speeding away with the young rabbit in tow. Calmly Yakko and Wakko paced themselves through the corridors.

"I thought we were getting back to the real story." Wakko pointed out.

"We are. I need you to watch Bugs when Mickey's on screen. Let me know if he does anything weird." Yakko explained.

"Got it." Wakko understood. He paused thoughtfully. "But where are you gonna be?"

"Surfing the web for Oswald." Yakko answered.

"You're just gonna Google his first name?" Wakko queried.

"No. I'll do more than that." Yakko assured. He halted in his tracks, and held out an arm to stop Wakko. Cautiously Yakko peaked around the corner into the soft orange toned kitchen. The room was vacant, but the sound of wooden chairs scooting across the floor in the adjacent room, confirmed Yakko's hunch. Bugs had already returned the table to the dining room. Yakko and Wakko quietly made their way to the kitchen sink, and slid their stacks of plates into the soapy water. They scrubbed the muck away, not even noticing the light commotion in the dining room had ceased.

"Hey, Docs." Bugs spoke up from behind. The Warner brothers jolted in fright, dropping their dishes in a sudsy splash. Realizing what they had done, the boys embarrassedly turned around to face Bugs. The rabbit's ears slanted forward as if pointing daggers at the Warners. He crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently.

"Okay, you kids've been actin' jumpy and dare I say it, on da quiet side," The rabbit recapped, eying Yakko. "evah since you got home. So I could ask ya what's wrong. But I know you'll just say you're fine." Bugs told, holding his serious look.

"Nothing gets passed you." Wakko quipped, trying to bring Bugs' guard down.

"Yep. Glad we settled that. Now let's go watch a long, long movie." Yakko played along, grabbing Wakko by the arm and dragging him away from the sink.

"Not so fast!" Bugs protested. The Warners paused for a second, only to continue their awkward escape by moonwalking away. Bugs blocked the slow moving Warners from their exit, and firmly gripped their shoulders.

"Listen Docs, you know bettah den ta take me for some maroon sitcom parent. So spare me de excuses. I wanna know what's really goin' on here." Bugs dictated. The eldest Warner thought fast.

"It's the insomnia." Yakko fabricated. "We haven't slept well in days. It's making us paranoid."

"Oh?" Bugs humored Yakko.

"Yeah. In fact I feel like skipping the movie and just turning in for the night." Yakko prattled. Riding on his excuse, Yakko ducked under Bugs' arm to slip past him. "G'night, Bugs!" He added, as he bolted. His nearest escape route happened to be the elevator around the corner. Once Yakko punched the call button, the carrot detailed metal doors slid open in record time. He rushed inside elevator, finding comfort in being confined inside the four walls. Though he knew he couldn't avoid Bugs for long after that conversation. Yakko mentally kicked himself over his blunder. He knew he blew it. 'With any luck, Wakko will keep Bugs distracted for the rest of the night.' Yakko hoped. The Warner tapped a button on the control panel, and the elevator zoomed at toon speed to another floor. A second later the doors opened to an emerald green room, with an old partners desk, white file cabinets, and a large stereo to distract Bugs from doing any real work in his office. But to Yakko the most important feature of the room used the left side of the desk as a throne to its cube shaped glory: Bugs' computer. Yakko sprinted behind the desk, narrowly avoiding tripping over a mess of cables. His thumb flew to the power button. An entire minute crawled by until the black screen turned blue and a small white box labeled 'Password' awaited an input. Yakko typed in a keyword and hit the 'Enter' arrow. However the page reset and gave Yakko a small printed prompt, saying his password was incorrect. Yakko scowled in frustration.

"One porn site, and it's like he thinks I'm a different toon." The Warner complained. Then he began a list to solve the password by trial and error. Carrots? Password? Baseball? 07271940? Super Rabbit? Art? Daisy Lou? All of which turned out to be incorrect. 'Okay, now it's time to get serious.' Yakko decided. He mumbled the code under his breath as he typed it in. "Thirty-four, six, twenty-seven, eighty-nine, twelve, zero." The screen gave Yakko a 'Welcome' prompt and his cursor changed into an hour glass. "Yes!" Yakko rejoiced. Next it was time to use his most valuable resource. He clicked on the Internet Explorer icon in the taskbar. After the home page loaded, Yakko clicked the Search bar. Unfortunately Yakko's master plan was about as complex as Wakko had described it. The eldest Warner entered the only phrases he had which could reveal Oswald's identity.

'Oswald Disney' He typed. The results were few and irrelevant. Apparently Mickey's celebration of Oswald wasn't big news yet. Then Yakko found an article that got the early scoop. 'Oswald Comes Home / Human Traded For a Toon', the title read. That highlight alone made Yakko's jaw drop. He read aloud in a low whisper.

"This is truly a monumental day in toon history. Today Walt Disney studio and NBC Universal settled on a trade between two of their properties: a contract with sportscaster, Al Michaels, and Walt E. Disney's earliest toon star, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Yes, it's true. Walt Disney studio traded a man to gain a toon rabbit. But there's no question that Oswald is the real winner! Prior to Mickey Mouse, Walt Disney created the lucky rabbit in 1927, and directed twenty-six Oswald pictures for Universal studio. However an underhanded business negotiation caused Disney to walk and lose the rights to Oswald. Miraculously after a seventy-eight year absence Oswald is home. He is said to hold no grudge against Mickey Mouse and thinks of him as a brother. As a Disney enthusiast, this reporter wishes Oswald a warm welcome home, and can't wait to see his grand come back."

Scrolling down the page, Yakko found a picture of Oswald. A lightbulb flashed on between Yakko's ears when he saw the inkblot's bowling ball shaped head and long rounded ears. 'The fireworks.' He realized. That was the exact shape he saw light up the sky alongside Mickey's symbol.

"So that's the toon of honor." Yakko studied. "Our new friend." He schemed.


	5. Friday Morning

February 10, 2006 6:00 am

In the heart of Toontown's Silly Symphony district, the smiling sun shined especially bright that morning. The sun's rays painted a heavenly glow over one particular blue castle, raised above the rest of the neighborhood by the shaken earth. However the sun quickly realized its mistake and swung its light over to the _other_ blue castle on the hill; the one without hidden Mickeys on the spires.

While the sunlight leaked though closed curtains, two inkblot characters snoozed, wrapped in comforters and each other's loving arms. One of them, a rabbit, awoke and squinted from heavy sleep still weighing on his eyelids. He found his feline better half, resting her head so close to his. It was a joy to see her at every sunrise. Though this morning foggy thoughts of a day so different, so much brighter for both of them, floated on his mind. He wondered for a moment if it could have been real. Just one day, perhaps yesterday, he was the happiest toon in the world. Or could it all have been just a dream? Slowly the rabbit crawled out of the bed, doing his best not to disturb his sweetheart. He tip-toed to the window and slightly parted the curtains to peak through. What he beheld on the other side was a blinding flash of white light that pierced his eyes. In shock, he slapped a hand over his face and stumbled back. The rabbit summoned a pair of sunglasses from his hammerspace before retuning his gaze to the overbearing light. Grouchily, he yanked the curtains open, unlocked the glass shutters, and stuck his head out the window. A giant yellow orb, obstructing his view of anything else, met him with a jolly grin.

"Hey, Buddy! Back off a couple light-years, will ya?! You'll put someone's eye out!" Oswald raged. The sun gave an embarrassed expression and hovered far off into the animated sky. Oswald tiredly removed the shades from his eyes, and discarded them behind his back.

"Morning, Honey Bunny." Ortensia chimed. The rabbit's ears perked up at the sound of her voice. He looked back to the bed, finding the petite cat sitting upright and brushing her face with her paw.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" Oswald apologized, shuffling to the bedside. Ortensia scooted over to the rabbit's side of the bed and nuzzled him nose to nose. Soon the cat nestled her way to the crook of his neck.

"Yes. But I'm not complaining." She purred. Oswald's eyes closed in bliss. He returned the affection with kisses along her cheek. The love-struck rabbit couldn't bring himself to do much more when she started purring like that. "What got you up so early?" Ortensia pondered.

"A dream." Oswald sighed. The cat unexpectedly parted from her husband, and caressed his face with both hands. She stared deeply into his eyes and smirked.

"Oh, Oswald. You're still walking on clouds from yesterday. I'm so glad to see you so happy again." Ortensia swooned. It took a moment for her words to register in Oswald's mind. Suddenly the rabbit bounded around the room, swinging his ears, and clicking his heels mid air.

"Whoo-hoo! It wasn't a dream!" He rejoiced. "I'm really back home!" Another joyous hop, and Oswald's feet didn't meet the floor. He glanced up, realizing that his spinning ears subconsciously made him take flight. The rabbit laughed at himself, and slowly lowered himself down. "That reminds me! We've gotta go help out Mickey!" Oswald recalled excitedly. In a flash, Oswald raced into his and Ortensia's walk-in closet for a fresh pair of shorts. However grateful as she was for their circumstances, Ortensia slipped out of bed with far less spring in her step than Oswald.

"Dear, they're probably not even awake yet." Ortensia cautioned, straightening her nightgown. At that moment the rabbit glided back into their bedroom, donning a pair of blue shorts.

"Then they'll sure be surprised to see us!" Oswald replied, striking a pose. "I'll get the kids ready." He declared, already skipping out the door. The ecstatic rabbit rushed down the dimly lit hall, navigating his way to two doors on his right. Upon one door, a black painted wooden 'F' ornament hung. Upon the opposite door, the same ornament hung, except upside down. Oswald opened the door which should have adorned an 'L', if not for his son's sense of humor. Once he flicked on the light, the bed's quilt moved with life to cover a small face. "Up and at 'em, Lloyd. We've got a big day ahead of us." Oswald urged. The only response he received was a tired moan, causing Oswald minor annoyance. Oswald thumped his foot in warning. Instantly a pair of rabbit ears poked out from underneath the quilt, followed by the kit's light brown face. His blue eyes squinted at the cruel ceiling lamp.

"Poppa, it's too early." Lloyd whined.

"I let you sleep in every morning. Today you owe me." Oswald remarked. "C'mon." He prompted. The kit sat up and kicked his feet over the side of the bed. Oswald stepped back into the hall. "Floyd?" Oswald called. The door with the upright 'F' opened, revealing Lloyd's equally baggy-eyed twin.

"I heard." Floyd moaned. Oswald patted his head.

"Wash up and hurry downstairs. You can eat breakfast at your uncle's house, but don't gorge yourselves. I need you two in top shape today. There's a lot of work to do before tonight." He lectured. Lloyd stumbled up to them, slouching against the door frame. "And don't pout, you two. You know how important this party is to me." Oswald reminded. The kits nodded in unison. With that settled, Oswald marched back the way he came, and turned left through an archway, into a large bonus room. It was dubbed the memory room by the family. Inside the three beige walls there was little more than a desk, a grand piano, and a fireman's pole. Hanging on the walls were black and white photographs of Oswald and his human family. All of which were enlarged, enhanced, and framed versions of the original snapshots Lillian Disney held onto for decades. On the desk were new framed pictures of Oswald's toon family. Despite Mickey's persistence to leave good and bad memories of Walt at hallowed places, such as his office or his gravesite, Oswald arranged the memory room in his home so he would face his past everyday. In time it made him stronger. Now the memories gave him hope, rather than sorrow. Beside Walt's image, the rabbit latched onto the fireman's pole, and zoomed down three floors.

His feet touched down in the dining room, adjacent to the kitchen. He dashed three rights and a left through the passageway, to the front lobby. The rabbit detected the clatter of four tiny feet running down wooden stairs. Oswald peeked up at the top of the stairwell that curved overhead. As he predicted, the boys were on their way down. Soon the twins, clothed in matching red overalls, approached side by side with a lengthy black dachshund cradled in their arms.

"Can we bring Doxie?" Lloyd pleaded. The dachshund's short tail whipped at Lloyd's elbow excitedly. Oswald held Doxie's pointed muzzle.

"What do you think, Doxie? Are you gonna dig up Minnie's garden again?" Oswald questioned teasingly.

"At least they gained a golf course." Floyd joked. Doxie wagged his tail faster in agreement. The black rabbit smiled weakly, and scratched Doxie's ears. He shouldn't have given in, but he loved to spoil that dog. The twins knowingly giggled. By then Ortensia strode into the lobby, dressed in her fuchsia skirt and hat.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, dear." Ortensia signaled. Oswald looked up at her in surprise.

"Oh, um. You didn't. Boys, go on ahead. Let Doxie burn off some energy." The rabbit fumbled. He stood aside for the kits and the dachshund to charge through the heavy wooden doors. Ortensia and Oswald linked arms and followed. Stepping outside, the joyous sun shined its rays directly on Oswald and Ortensia. Despite the early hour, the castle, lawn, winding paved pathway, fountain, and everything else in sight was painted in mid-day colors. Contently, the couple strolled on their way into their strange and vibrant world.

"It will be nice to see the whole family again." Ortensia commented, leaning into Oswald's side.

"Yeah. Until I have to explain to the human press how I'm related to all the mice." Oswald laughed. He could see the headlines now: 'MICKEY MOUSE HAS RABBIT BROTHER / WHO KNEW?'

"And the cats." Ortensia added. The rabbit pondered the odd statement. If anyone was going to have questions about his unusual family, they would speak of the rabbit's _mouse_ brother, _mouse_ sister, and _mice_ nephews and niece. Interspecies marriages were nothing new in Toontown. So why would anyone raise an eyebrow to Ortensia? She was the only cat in his intermediate fam- 'Oh, no!' Oswald realized. 'Not him!'

"You invited Homer?" Oswald groaned.

"It's his party too, Oswald. Don't forget this night's not just about you." She chastised. It was true. The Walt Disney Company not only gained back the rabbit and his twenty-six shorts, but the rights to every side character in said shorts. Thus the party would techically be held in honor of Oswald, Ortensia, Fanny Cottontail, Pete Bear, Toby Bear, J.P. Whiskers, and even Ortensia's rotten little brother, Homer Cat. Still Oswald couldn't stand the thought of Homer stealing the spotlight just to spite him, which the cat was known to do. "Just promise me you won't cause a scene with him." Ortensia said.

"I never do. He's the one who likes to get things started." Oswald objected. 'Not that you ever notice.' He grumbled mentally.

"Promise me." She persisted. The rabbit scowled.

"Yeah, I promise." He muttered. In no time they crossed the T shaped road which divided their castle from the neighbors' identical castle. Upon the oval front steps, the twins pushed open the giant entryway.

"Boys, at least knock first!" Ortensia cried in embarrassment, just before the kits invited themselves inside. As if the twins' second-rate manners weren't bad enough, Doxie ran circles around their heels and barked a long series of high pitched yaps. Oswald shrugged the behavior off.

"We were going to wake them up early anyway." He assured Ortensia. "Besides, Mickey always told me to never be a stranger." The rabbit took heavy strides into the castle like he owned the place. Ortensia accompanied him, but meekly kept her head down. However the instant they stepped into the lobby Oswald tipped her chin up, and pointed to the ceiling.

"Oh my." Ortensia breathed. From corner to corner, the high ceiling was packed with dark blue, black, and gold balloons. Gold and white stings spiraled down four feet, but were still suspended high and out of reach. A white banner sprinkled in silver stars stretched over the main corridor, reading **Welcome Home OSWALD**. Around the lobby three signs made from scene markers directed guests where to go. There were undoubtedly dozens more set up in the castle. Up the stairwell, a wide filmstrip themed ribbon weaved through the posts. Oswald's eyes followed the ribbon up to the top of the stairs, where he spotted Minnie tiptoeing down. She wore the same clothes she wore yesterday and leaned heavily on the railing.

"Morning, Minnie. Is Mickey up yet?" Oswald asked.

"Actually he's not here..." She yawned. A loud crash of pots and pans echoed from the kitchen. The doe mouse didn't even blink at the commotion. "But I see everyone else is." Minnie noted flatly.

"I'll go check on them." Oswald whispered in Ortensia's ear. The rabbit scooted off to the kitchen where he knew he'd find the twins. Before Minnie made it much farther down the steps, Ortensia ran to her side.

"Minnie, you look exhausted." Ortensia exclaimed.

"We've been up all night decorating." Minnie explained. The cat gasped in amazement.

"Minnie, you're a life saver. How will we ever repay you for all of this?" Ortensia queried.

"Just promise me next time we throw you a party, we'll plan more than two days in advanced." Minnie yawned. Ortensia's ears fell back slightly.

"I'm sorry we put so much weight on your shoulders." The cat apologized. "I tried to tell Oswald we should wait until next weekend." She justified.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about. It's been a pleasure helping you two." Minnie insisted. She yawned once more, before continuing on. "Besides, the trade yesterday made Mickey so happy. I don't think he or Oswald could bare to wait a week to celebrate." Without warning a charging long-eared dog plowed the doors open. The golden hound, wearing a black harness linked to a platform cart, towed in a mountain of cardboard boxes. His musher rode in, clinging to the cart's handle. One foot balanced on the cart, and the other kicked off the ground. Breaking through the doors hardly slowed them down. But the musher realized too late that they had run out of track. The dog yelped and took a sharp right. The platform cart however kept its steady course, being unfit to turn on a dime, and rammed straight into the wall. Minnie covered her eyes. The mountain of boxes buried the musher and dog, only for the two to poke their heads out a second later, completely unscathed.

"Whoa! Hm-ha! Sorry, Pluto." Mickey laughed off. In turn, Pluto wrinkled his snout at the mouse. Ortensia and Minnie hurried down the steps to assess the damage.

"Are you two alright?" Ortensia inquired.

"Oh, hiya Ortensia. We're okay." Mickey answered as he crawled out of the wreckage.

"Find everything okay, Mickey?" Minnie asked, giving him a hand. Mickey nodded.

"It wasn't easy. But it's all here." He confirmed. Pluto sat and gnawed at the cord attached to his harness just above his tail. Minnie unhooked him, setting the dog free. The dog tried stomping away, holding his nose and tail high. But he quickly caught the scent of Oswald, and forgot his grudge. Then the rabbit returned to the lobby with his own hound at his heels, to investigate the commotion.

"Whatever that was, it wasn't Doxie." Oswald announced to the girls. Suddenly Pluto was on the rabbit in a flash. His front paws flew to Oswald's shoulders, so he could lap at the rabbit's face. Standing on his hind legs, Pluto was taller than Oswald. So it didn't take much for the dog to knock him down. Doxie curved his long body out of the way before his master fell on him. As Pluto relentlessly licked and pawed at the rabbit, Oswald surprisingly didn't express any hostility or disgust. Instead he laughed and roughly scratched Pluto's ears and forehead. Keeping his hands on Pluto's face, Oswald almost effectively shielded his face, though Pluto still swiped a few slobbery kisses.

"Hey, Pluto! Did ya miss me?" Oswald beamed. Pluto howled in short spurts. "I know, it's been a whole day!" The rabbit sympathized, pretending to understand him. But just as soon as Pluto latched on, Doxie drove him off. His shrill barking repelled Pluto. Mickey made his way over to Pluto, lightly patting him away from Doxie. Pluto got the message and backed off. The dachshund held his ground until Oswald sprang to his feet again.

"Hiya, Oswald." Mickey greeted.

"Fancy meeting you here, Brother." Oswald said, wearing a wide smile. "The place looks great by the way." He added.

"Aw, thanks." Mickey received. The mouse curiously analyzed Oswald's movements from just a moment ago. His ears curved over his forehead and bounced with his every body gesture; contrary to how he usually held them so stiff and straight. His animation was so fluid today. "Are you okay?" Mickey wondered.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Oswald questioned, still grinning. As an afterthought, his ears waved toward his welcome banner. "Really, why wouldn't I be?"

"Gee, I don't know. It just seems like something's changed about you. You're... glowing." Mickey described. The rabbit gave his welcome banner a long, quiet look. His expression fell blank.

"Ortensia noticed that too." Oswald sighed thoughtfully. "Y'know I spent seventy-eight years and three days away from home? It's crazy to think I'm here now." He reflected.

"You were always at home with us." Mickey comforted. "And we're all glad you're here."

"I know." The rabbit stated. His smile slowly returned as he looked to Mickey. "You need any help with those boxes?" Oswald distracted. Mickey felt a sense of whiplash when he remembered the scattered boxes and overturned platform car.

"Oh, right! C'mon! I've got lots ta show ya!" Mickey exclaimed.

February 10, 2006 6:48 am

Back at Bugs Bunny's residence, starting the day took a completely different procedure. Clyde wandered into the orange kitchen, still wearing his blue nightshirt. The blue-eyed bunny scooted a bar stool up to the kitchen counter so he could reach the waffle maker. Clyde was always first to rise in the morning. Though Bugs always came in close second. Like clockwork, the guardian rabbit walked in the kitchen the second Clyde topped his plate with a third waffle. Behind him, Clyde heard the tell tale signs that Bugs was awake; namely the humming of the opened fridge, the squeak of the pantry door, and the shaking of the cereal box.

"Morning, Clyde." Bugs spoke, setting the milk carton and Trix cereal box next to Clyde's plate. Clyde finally raised his head to smile at Bugs. "Da Warners ain't up yet?" Bugs assumed, whilst he filled a bowl.

"They're never up _this_ early." Clyde reminded.

"Yeah. For insomniacs, dey sure can sleep like logs." Bugs remarked bitterly.

"Insomniacs?" Clyde echoed. Bugs picked up his cereal bowl, and nodded toward the island and bar stools. His nephew eagerly followed, and took a seat beside him. Even though the youthful rabbit retained a childish and naïve state of mind for over fifty years, Clyde had the smarts to know when he and his uncle were about to discuss something serious.

"Remember how deathly quiet those t'ree were at dinnah last night?" Bugs began. "Well I asked da boys what was wrong, and dey nearly jumped outta der' pelts in fright. Den Yakko tried ta blame der' skittish noives on stress n' insomnia." The rabbit went on.

"Maybe they really are stressed over something?" Clyde implied.

"Dat's what worries me." Bugs admitted. "I know Yakko lied t'rough his teeth ta me. And if th' Warners won't be straight wit' me, den somethin' must be wrong. If I know those kids, and I do, they're either in trouble or lookin' for it." He hypothesized.

"What are you gonna do?" Clyde questioned.

"Well for starters, you can do me a favor n' keep a sharp eye on 'em while I'm gone t'day." Bugs requested. "Then I'll take it from der'. Alright?" Clyde seemed unsure, but complied with a promising nod. Bugs patted Clyde's head gratefully. "I know I can always count on you." Bugs praised. Suddenly Bugs' hammerspace pocket on his right hip buzzed. He pulled his cell phone from the invisible pocket in his fur coat, and held it to his ear.

"What's up, Doc?" Bugs inquired out of habit.

"Hello, Bugs. It's me. Can we talk for a minute?" A sultry voice cooed over the phone. Bugs' last memory of that voice shot him straight through the heart.

July 17, 1995 10:34 am

Bugs felt claustrophobic in his own dressing room, for once. It broke his heart to witness his ex girlfriend, whom he held no malice toward, silently criticize herself to tears. The fem bunny sat at Bugs' vanity mirror, glaring at her own reflection. Tears trickled down her face, and dropped on her crimson leotard. She unclipped her red bow from between her ears, and dropped it to the floor in defeat.

"Maybe dis is a blessing in disguise?" Bugs suggested hopefully. He stooped to retrieve her bow.

"Bugs, I thought I was doing so well." Daisy Lou wept. Bugs placed the red barrette on the table under the mirror. Then he returned to his post behind Daisy Lou, massaging her shoulders reassuringly. "I answer their beck and call. I do everything they ask of me for two months..." Daisy Lou carried on. Her glare intensified towards the glass. "Only so they can say I am too ugly to play the part." Bugs jolted back with a start.

"You know dat's not true!" Bugs objected. "No one's calling ya ugly, doll. They just decided dey want a different look." Daisy Lou shot a glare at him. Bugs clenched his teeth to stop himself from saying anything worse. Wiping her elbow length gloves along her eyes, Daisy Lou regretted giving Bugs such a look. He couldn't be blamed. What happened today was out of his hands.

"I should've stood up for myself. I should've given them a piece of my mind." Daisy Lou sniveled.

"Believe me. I'd love ta hear dat." Bugs smiled. "But you'd be wastin' yer breath." He conceded. "Not'ing gets t'rough to these maroons. I've tried, Daffy's tried, Chuck's tried. We'd have bettah luck screamin' at a brick wall." As Bugs knelt at Daisy Lou's side, he gently tipped her chin away from the mirror. He needed her to look at him, not just his reflection, and believe the truth.

"Listen, Daisy." Bugs addressed. "Dose casting directors obviously don't know a rabbit fashion model when dey see one. And if dey're too soft-brained ta tell two grey rabbits apart, den dat's no fault o' yours. Don't let it get ya down. I know you're beautiful." He soothed. Graciously, Daisy Lou bowed her head to kiss her ex boyfriend. Bugs heatedly kissed back. The doe's hands latched on Bugs' waist, pulling him onto the chair with her. Without breaking their kiss, the rabbits shifted their bodies so the doe straddled the buck's lap.

"Say that again." Daisy Lou requested. The tip of her ear combed over Bugs' forehead.

"I know you're beautiful." Bugs obeyed. "Eh, come ovah ta my place, and I'll prove it to ya." He flirted with two clicks of his tongue.

"Oh, Bugs." Daisy Lou swooned. Contently the rabbit held each other in blissful silence. Little did Bugs anticipate how far their trains of thought traveled in different directions.

"We had some good times." Bugs reminisced of his past love.

"Yes." Daisy Lou agreed softly. "It's been a pleasure, spending time with you again." The resignation was hidden well in her voice. Bugs looked deep into Daisy Lou's blue eyes.

"I t'ink it's time we..." He began.

"Picked up where we left off?" She offered. Bugs smirked.

"If memory soives, we left off with-" Bugs trailed off, leaning in for another kiss. But the kiss was halted by a dainty gloved hand.

"Goodbye." Daisy Lou interrupted. Bugs' ears laid back worriedly. One stare, and Bugs knew she wasn't kidding.

"You're leavin'? Daisy, you don't mean dat! Why?" The buck uttered in puzzlement. Daisy Lou retreated from his embrace, standing up.

"Because you'll have to kiss her." She explained. Her voice raised the more she imagined the inevitable. "You'll have to treat her well, be with her all the time, and tell the press how in love you both are."

"Who?!" Bugs demanded, absolutely confused.

"My replacement, whoever she'll be." Daisy Lou answered. An awkward pause settled between them. Once he finally comprehended what Daisy Lou implied, Bugs nearly laughed at her.

"Sure, but it won't mean a thing. I _am_ a professional ac-tor, afta' all. I'll just do it for da camera, and dat'll be dat. You and I can still have something." Bugs reasoned. Daisy Lou turned her back to him.

"You won't be so sure of yourself once you meet your new girlfriend." She doubted.

"Now wait just a cotton pickin' minute!" Bugs objected. The accusation hit him hard. Still not looking at him, Daisy Lou heard a crash behind her. She spun around, to find the chair turned over, but no sign of Bugs. Getting an eerie feeling, Daisy Lou looked behind her once more, to discover Bugs did a jump cut up to her face. "I am not havin' dis conversation wit' the back of yer head." Bugs justified before unleashing his rant. "Now just because I've a long track record, it don't mean I can't be faithful! I don't date just any dame th' studio t'rows at me! And I don't dump dames at da drop of a hat! Especially when th' studio drops said hat! Even if I did, I couldn't date a yearling toon at my age! It'd be morally _wrong_!" Bugs yelled. Taking her hands, he calmed himself. "I only want you, Daisy Lou." Bugs proclaimed.

"You know I'm not the kind of girl who waits on a man. So when you kiss your leading lady on the court, don't look for me in the bleachers, waiting for my turn." Daisy huffed. Bugs' nose twitched nervously. This never happened before. Daisy was never jealous of other damsels Bugs simply eyed in the past. That's why he liked her so much. She never kept him chained down. Why was this time so different? Why didn't she trust him to be true?"

"Daisy, don't do dis." Bugs pleaded, tightening his hold on her hands. "You've always been my best goil! Honest and truly!" Daisy Lou shook her hands out of Bugs' grip. She dashed to the exit, hardly getting her words out before the door slammed behind her.

"Sorry, Bugs. Maybe some other time when you're free."

February 10, 2006 6:51 am

"Daisy Lou." Bugs gaped. It took all of his strength not to let the phone slip from his hand. Clyde's pupils stretched in surprise. "Yeah, I've got time." The elder rabbit recovered.

"Listen, I didn't like the way we left things years ago." Daisy Lou confessed.

"You're tellin' me." Bugs scoffed.

"I know. I was in the wrong, and I'm so sorry." Daisy Lou apologized. Bugs listened intently. After their estrangement, he always had a hunch she would come back someday. Though he never expected her to come back with an apology. "I'm sorry for how I acted, Bugs. I shouldn't have questioned your integrity."

"You don't have ta say anyt'ing more, Daisy. There's just one t'ing I wanna know. What made ya call?" Bugs suspected. He heard her breathe a hint of a sob.

"I called because I need _you_." Daisy Lou replied steadily. For a few seconds, Bugs contemplated that choked cry she made. No matter how subtle, it wouldn't leave his thoughts. His mind painted vivid possibilities of her situation. None of which looked good.

"What happened?" Bugs coaxed.

"It doesn't matter now." Daisy Lou blocked. "I just need to see you."

"If you t'ink you can just walk back inta my life afta all dis time..." Bugs groaned. "you'd be exactly right. I've missed ya, doll." He teased. Daisy Lou giggled at him, which he was all too glad to hear.

"Be my valentine?" She proposed.

"Why wait? I'll take ya out tonight." Bugs decided. "Besides, I wanna be da Fuddster's valentine dis year."

"How thoughtful of you. As long as you still have room in your heart for your best girl." Daisy played along.

"I always do, sweetheart." Bugs vowed. The rabbits planned a time and place to rendezvous. Or more Daisy Lou planned, and Bugs listened. Gradually the reality of the moment dawned on Bugs. His face heated. His heart pounded in his ears for the girl and the memories of her, he put on a shelf. What was he thinking, letting her go almost eleven years ago? Soon the rabbits said their short farewells. Bugs hung up the phone.

"You've got a date, Uncle Bugs." Clyde perceived. Without meeting his nephew's eyes, Bugs consumed his cereal in one big gulp.

"T'ink I'll go for a jog before da limo gets here." Bugs hastily excused himself before the air over his head could sprout red hearts.


	6. Lies

February 10, 2006 5:30 pm

That evening, Yakko stayed out of Bugs' way to avoid suspicion. He couldn't let Bugs know how excited he was to sneak out. The eldest Warner stayed in his room, hanging upside down off his bed, listing off the intel and gizmos he had acquired earlier in the day. Rehearsed mental notes on how to casually interrogate the party hosts? Check. A distraction to keep Clyde quiet? Check. Party attire? Check. Transportation to Mickey's house? Check. Mickey Mouse's home address? Check. He'd have to remember to return Bugs' address book to his desk later. Validated miscellaneous party information from the biggest name in Hollywood? Check, and thank you Steven.

"I'd show all of this in a flashback, but that would take too long. I wanna get to the main event before this chapter's over." Yakko explained to thin air. A knock sounded on his door. Yakko flipped right side up just before the door slid open.

"Girl entering the room." Dot warned as she peeked her head inside. "Bugs wants to see you downstairs." She informed Yakko.

"And I just want to see him leave." Yakko muttered, pushing himself off the bed.

"Then you'd better hurry downstairs. He's waiting to say goodbye to everybody." Dot chimed. The youngest Warner left Yakko's sight in a hurry. He ran after her with exaggerated speed. Within seconds Yakko caught up to her past the kids' bedrooms. Their white feet blurred in a swift cycling motion.

"So, who do you think took longer getting gussied up? Bugs or his date?" Yakko asked.

"Definitely Bugs." Dot answered. The siblings rode half the railings down the stairwells to the main floor. More than once, Yakko kicked a camouflaged lever at the top of the stairs that changed the stairs into a ramp. He and Dot made faster time, sliding on their bellies. On the main stairwell to the lobby however, Yakko and Dot ran down the steps. As if Bugs didn't know what they had done. Yakko and Dot regrouped with their brother, under the lobby's crystal carrot chandelier. Yakko felt somewhat confused, seeing no one else around.

"Did we miss him?" Yakko beseeched his brother. Wakko opened his mouth to answer.

"Don't sound so eager, Doc." Bugs voice sounded. Yakko flinched in surprise. The ajar front door swung open, revealing the guardian rabbit dressed in his black tuxedo with red bowtie and belt. Pants were never part of the outfit. The evening's fading light painted a soft glow around the rabbit. Yakko shot a glare at Wakko. The middle Warner shrugged.

"The limo's already here. Bugs and Clyde are outside." Wakko answered as if no interruption had occurred. Bugs leaned one hand on the doorway and grabbed a carrot from his hammerspace with the other. He patiently snacked as Clyde scurried passed him to join the ranks with the Warners. The little rabbit stood at attention beside Yakko.

"Well now dat you're all here, give me hugs so I can leave you four alone wit' some peace of mind." Bugs advised. Wakko stepped up first. The rabbit knelt down and wrapped the middle Warner in his arms.

"You don't have to worry about us, Bugs." Wakko reassured.

"Apparently I do have to worry about your chronic case of 'insomnia'." Bugs chided halfheartedly. The rabbit patted Wakko's cap covered head. Wakko hated the feeling that Bugs was already onto them. By tomorrow morning they would surely be grounded. Dot approached the rabbit for a hug next. Bugs held the youngest Warner tight. Dot gave a warm smile when he released her. When it came Yakko's turn, Bugs grasped Yakko's shoulder first.

"You're in charge, Doc." Bugs assigned. "Don't do anyt'ing I would do."

"Right." Yakko affirmed, taking the initiative to embrace Bugs. The rabbit decided he'd got his point across, and hugged back. In the split second Yakko was blind to Bugs' face, Bugs glanced Clyde's way, reminding his double agent who was really left in charge. Clyde winked back. Bugs moved on to his nephew. He petted Clyde's back, giving him the least constricting hug out of all four of them. It was clear at least to Clyde, that the Warners were Bugs' main concern at the moment.

"Dat's bettah." Bugs remarked, straightening out his half tux. "Alright. Eat up what's left ovah of da leftovahs in th' fridge, be in bed before midnight, and feel free to do da usual shenanigans until den. I just ask dat der' be no overnight guests or waking of da neighbors." He instructed. "Oh, and in case of an emoigency don't hesitate to give a buzz. Got it?" The rabbit added. The kids mumbled acknowledgements. Yakko demonstrated his understanding by summoning a sleek silver electric hair clipper from his hammerspace. The device gave off a buzzing noise. Yakko lifted his brother's hat, shaved a stripe down Wakko's head, and returned the hat which completely covered up the bald stripe. Wakko paid no mind to the gag.

"Very good, Doc." Bugs dryly praised. "I'll see you in da mornin'." He said as he turned for the door.

"Don't have too much fun, Bugs." Yakko teased.

"No guarantees." Bugs countered over his shoulder. The rabbit marched out the castle, swinging the door shut behind him. The Warners remained still another minute, listening to the limousine drive off. Once the humming engine sound drifted into silence, the Warners simultaneously turned their heads towards their honorary cousin. A single mischievous thought ran through their minds.'Now to silence Clyde.'

"So what's on the agenda for tonight?" Clyde asked nervously. He didn't like the way they stared him down.

"We're gonna watch another movie. I think you'll like it." Yakko baited. He pulled a VHS tape from his hammerspace and handed it to Wakko. The middle Warner analyzed the secret weapon. Suddenly Wakko dashed off through the grand hall with the VHS in hand.

"Oh, what is it?" The kit wondered. His eyes tracked Wakko curiously. Yakko gestured to go with Wakko.

"Let's just say it's the cure for our problems." He riddled.

February 10, 2006 5:55 pm

The white text 'A C. Booring Film' slowly came into focus on a black screen, followed by the title 'The Anvil Story'.  
A low voice crooned as the opening credits faded in.

"Anvilainiaaaaaaa..."

"Anvilainiaaaaaaa..."

"Anvilai-ai-ai-niaaaaa."

Clyde planted his face into his beanbag chair, fast asleep. His straight ears slowly relaxed against his cheeks. Wakko tiptoed out of the TV room. Meanwhile Dot delicately draped a blanket over Clyde's shoulders. She left the T.V. on, hoping the dull, white noise would keep Clyde in a boredom induced nap. Dot made her way out and Wakko gently shut the door with a victorious smirk on his face. The Warner sister opted another plot to keep Clyde subdued, by taking a wooden chair from her hammerspace and jamming the backrest under the doorknob.

"That won't hold him." Wakko observed.

"But it'll keep him away from the phone for another five minutes." Dot reasoned. Wakko nodded in agreement. Just then Yakko trotted up to his siblings. Bugs' little black phone/address book shifted between Yakko's fingers.

"He's out cold?" Yakko perceived.

"Uh-huh." His brother confirmed.

"Great. I just got off the phone with our ride. He'll be here any minute." Yakko notified.

"I'll go get my pearls and princess gown." Dot chimed, trotting passed Yakko. But the eldest Warner dashed ahead of Dot, stopping her in her tracks.

"No time for that, sister sib. Just make do with what you've got on ya when we get there." Yakko ordered. He folded his arms, showing no trace of leniency. It was no secret that Dot carried a trunk full of dresses on her at all times. She could try on something from her room or spin into one of her on-hand favorites, and look just as nice. The only difference was in her room she had the luxury of a mirror. A hypnotizing luxury at that. Yakko deemed they would make much better time if she spin changed into something upon arrival, just like her brothers. Dot scowled at him.

"Boys." She groaned in defeat. Without further argument Dot lead the way outside to the front yard. Yakko flicked a light switch before shutting the door. Two lampposts glowed at the end of the drive. Their light illuminated the hedges bordering the lawns. The Warner trio sat down on the warm cement drive. Acme Acres' dusk sky covered the land in dark blues and purples.

"By the way, Wak. I forgot to ask earlier." Yakko piped up. "Last night, what was Bugs like during Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"

"Normal." Wakko reported, a bit baffled by the fact. "He didn't act provoked at all." Yakko looked at his brother strangely, then accepted the answer.

"Well that lead was a dead end." Yakko assessed disappointedly. He flipped through the pages of Bugs' phone/address book out of boredom. Soon the Warners lifted their heads at the sound of a sputtering engine. A small car zipped around the hedge and straight up the drive. Oval headlights blinked at the Warners. Suddenly the sputtering car reared up on its oversized rear tires like a horse, in order to stop on a dime. The anthropomorphic car panted loudly. Under his drooping blue eyes/headlights, the car's tongue dangled out of his mouth.

"Howdy, lil' buddies. My name's Tinker and this here's Speed Buggy." The driver introduced. The Warners stood up.

"We're the Warner brothers!" Yakko and Wakko chorused.

"And the Warner sister." Dot finished. It wasn't hard to see that Wakko and Dot's friendly smiles were forced. Neither of the two were thrilled about Yakko's choice of transportation.

"Don't mind Speed Buggy. He's just used to driving in the slow lane now-a days." Tinker smiled.

"Puh-puh-puh I still got it. Puh-puh-puh Vroom!" Speed Buggy argued. The little car was an orange fiberglass dune buggy. Wakko recognized Speed Buggy from somewhere, but couldn't put his finger on it. However the red haired driver in the green jumpsuit was a complete stranger to him. Wakko chewed his tongue thoughtfully. Were these characters really friends of Bugs?

"Iverdray ulliblegay." Yakko clued his siblings. "C'mon! Bugs is waiting on us at Mickey's!" He urged, nudging his siblings forward. Wakko and Dot shared a grin, and hopped into the dune buggy's backseats. They got it now. Tinker thought Bugs was early to the party, and Mickey would think Bugs was running late. And no one would suspect the Warners were really on their own. It was the perfect ploy. Yakko sat down in the passenger seat, and presented a page of Bugs' little black book to Tinker. "You don't need this, do you?" He questioned. Yakko already told Tinker Mickey Mouse's address over the phone, but offered it just to be sure.

"Nope. I got it all up here." Tinker assured, tapping his head.

"Oh, so that's what's making the sound of rusted gears turning." Yakko blurted before he could show any self control.

"Huh?" Tinker uttered. Yakko waved it off.

"Nothing. Just drive." Yakko sighed. Tinker complied.

"Alright, Speedy. To Mouseton, and fast." Tinker commanded. He reconsidered the order. "Just don't over do it." Tinker added.

"Rodger dodger, Tink. Vroom-a-zoom-zoom!" Speed Buggy exclaimed. The dune buggy bounced into the air, did a one hundred eighty degree spin, landed on his tires, and rocketed off. The force of the dune buggy's toon speed knocked Yakko to the back of his seat. After the shock of the take off, Yakko found he could still move and retain his usual shape, even at extreme toon speed. The Warners' home on the grassy hillside near the beach vanished in a cloud of exhaust. Green lawns and forest dwindled out as Speed Buggy raced to downtown Acme Acres. The eldest Warner decided to rest his eyes for a while. However he quickly learned sleeping in _this_ car was impossible. Speed Buggy's stunt driving that jostled Yakko around was an annoyance. But what really kept Yakko awake was Speed Buggy's sputtering engine that would _never_ shut up. Despite this, Yakko tried to relax the rest of the way.

Their drive through Toontown was as relaxing as could be expected. Wakko kept pleading for Tinker to let him drive. Tinker began his every line of disapproval with the word 'Golly'. Dot casually tallied how many falling pianos almost hit them. And the road rage from all the drivers (and cars) around them was a constant. That is until the dune buggy passed a welcome sign wearing black mouse ears. Yakko opened his eyes when he noticed a lack of commotion. He looked around at the neatly drawn, sleepy suburbia they had entered, and cringed when he felt a Goof Troop vibe coming on.

"We must be getting close." Yakko murmured.

Speed Buggy easily zoomed to the next town over: Mouseton. With the dune buggy's remarkable speed, they made it to Mouseton in twenty-one minutes flat. The town showed signs of a new generation growing around the old. Structures of the 1930's were redrawn and camouflaged in a 1990's animation style. The streets were deserted. Most store windows were dark. On the outskirts of town, Speed Buggy took a sharp right and climbed up a giant slope. The Warners leaned in, seeing that the sidewalk had disappeared into a sheer drop. Way up on the winding road the passengers beheld a breathtaking view of Mouseton. Ahead, the road curved around a steep cliff, up to the top of the hillside. The peak glowed from the masses of lights emitting from the magnificent blue castle and its courtyard. Every window blazed golden yellow, and spotlights danced across the walls. The only sign of darkness was the evening sky above.

'Everybody in town must be up there.' Wakko thought.

"So, how long have you guys known Bugs?" Dot inquired after a long silence.

"Golly! As long as I can remember. Bugs was always walking in on recording sessions, interrupting Mel just to say hi to him. Of course security always tried to boot him out. But they were no match for Bugs. Anyway, Bugs started hanging around more and started stoppin' by to see us too. The Speed Bugs, that is." Tinker reminisced.

"You knew Mel Blanc?" Dot realized.

"Knew him? Why he only gave Speed Buggy one of his voices." Tinker beamed.

"Puh-puh-puh, heh-heh. One in one-thousand! Puh-puh, heh-heh-heh." Speed Buggy giggled. The buggy revved up one last boost to the hill's summit. Then Speed Buggy hit the brakes, and coasted to the gate. His wheels sagged tiredly. The buggy, human, and Warners slowly gazed up, further marveling the estate. The giant iron gate, topped with a shield and hidden Mickey, protected the hidden Mickey spired castle and everything inside. From the left side a rectangle driveway laid out a space for a plethora of guests' horse drawn carriages. A paved walkway and steps weaved right to the castle's massive front doors. Out on the front lawn, aligned with the doors, three circular fountains splashed and sparkled. From the right side, the lawn dipped down into a creek that flowed around the castle.

The castle grounds were also filled with movement. Everywhere, party guests of all shapes, sizes, and colors wandered and showed their unique behaviors. In the creek, a yellow and blue striped fish breached the water, just as a green fish tail rose up and splashed him. Across the creek, eight tan coated lionesses purred in King Simba's company. By the fountains, two elderly matriarch elephants, one from Africa and one from India, shared stories about their sons. Up in the spires Peter Pan, the lost boys, and the two Darling boys played tag. But they scattered in fright, when the tallest spire unfurled itself into a winged monster. Chernobog glowered down on the castle grounds. The dark god outstretched his arms and wings. Just when it seemed he would strike his fists down on the guests in the courtyard, Chernabog folded his arms. He restrained himself from stealing any souls, and watched them carry on about their lives. On the roof in Chernabog's shaddow, a lanky mouse hunched over the castle wall like a gargoyle. Finished with his ominous entrance, Mortimer Mouse stood up straight, and dusted off his tan suit.

"Yeah, I'm here too." Mortimer sneered at the fourth wall. "What can I say? Mickey invited me. The chump's very forgiving." The tall mouse then turned his back on the dark god, to find a way downstairs to the party. Meanwhile, back at the castle gate, Yakko remembered he and his sibs were on a mission.

"Well thanks for the ride, guys. We'll be seein' ya." Yakko spoke up. He jumped out of the buggy with Wakko and Dot in tow.

"Golly! Now that's a creepy ghoul! Are you kids sure you wanna go in there?" Tinker cowered, not taking his eyes off of Chernabog. Wakko's right eye twitched. If he had to hear the word 'golly' one more time...

"We're positive." Wakko groaned.

"Alright. Have a fun time." Tinker gulped. "Head for home, Speedy." The driver ordered. But the buggy's engine stalled.

"Puh-puh. But I don't see Bugs anywhere! Puh-puh-puh-puh." Speed Buggy interjected.

"He's waiting for us inside. We can find him from here." Yakko misinformed confidently.

"Puh-puh-puh. Well maybe we should stick around, puh-puh-puh to say hi to him. Puh-puh." Speed Buggy suggested.

"Now c'mon, Speedy. We can't just waltz in uninvited." Tinker disagreed.

"Mmph... Well I don't know. Puh-puh-puh-puh." Speed Buggy hesitated. Dot felt surprised Speed Buggy was genuinely concerned for the safety of three kids he just met. Tinker stepped out of the vehicle and started walking back down the winding road.

"Okay Speedy. If you wanna wait for Bugs out here that's fine." Tinker hollered over his shoulder. "But don't be surprised when a band of spooky villains comes by."

"Puh-puh-puh-puh. Villains?" Speed Buggy queried. Tinker slowed his pace, knowing he had Speed Buggy hook, line, and sinker.

"Oh, sure. Evil pirates, lonesome ghosts, dragons, gods of death..." He listed off. The Buggy suddenly swerved around.

"Puh-puh. Wait for me, Tink! Vroom! Puh-puh-puh. Vroom-a-zoom-zoom!" Speed Buggy called. Not a second later, Speed Buggy rammed into his friend. Tinker's knees buckled. He slid backwards over the buggy's short hood, and fell into the driver's seat. The Warners watched their escorts flee down the hillside.

"I almost feel guilty about tricking him." Dot admitted.

"Tinker?" Wakko queried.

"No. Speed Buggy. He was a cute little character." Dot answered.

"Well it's time, sibs. The moment of truth." Yakko proclaimed, facing the castle again. He spin changed into a black tux and blue bow tie. Wakko spun into a tux and bowtie mirroring Yakko's. The middle Warner kept his red cap as part of the ensemble of course. Dot twirled into a magenta, straight neckline, dress, and switched out her yellow flower barrette for a pink one.

"You think the answers to all our questions are in there?" Dot questioned Yakko.

"I hope so." The eldest Warner replied. "Remember to stay on your guard around Oswald, till we know what kind of trouble our special friend will be." Yakko reminded. He took a breath. "Let's go." The Warners strode five or so steps up to the iron gate. Yakko reached to push it open. Suddenly a large hand shot out on the other side, and grasped the gate with such force it made the gate rattle. Yakko withdrew his hand, and sized up the toon who held the gate shut; a burly Arab man in a turban.

"Name?" The large man grumbled. His opened mouth revealed he was missing a tooth.

"I'm Yakko."

"I'm Wakko."

"And I'm cute." The Warners routinely announced.

"That'll be under 'Bunny'." Yakko notified.

"You're not on the list." The man growled, without breaking eye contact with Yakko.

"Could you at least check?" Yakko challenged.

"I don't need check to know you're not welcome here, ink stain. Now get lost!" The guard barked. The Warners shared sly glances to one another.

"Hey, what's that on your shoulder?" Wakko asked. The guard looked over his right shoulder, and was shocked to find Yakko and Dot had jumpcut behind him. "No, no! The other one." Wakko voiced. The guard turned his head again, and found Wakko perched on his broad, left shoulder. Wakko kissed the man on the nose, and pulled his turban down over his eyes. The man violently thrashed, trying to yank the turban off his face. Once he succeeded he glared daggers at the ground where Yakko and Dot once stood. Registering they weren't there, the guard growled in frustration.

"Did you lose something?" Dot cooed. The guard whipped around. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot made Gookie faces at him from outside the gate.

"Why you little jackals!" The guard bellowed.

"Goodnight everybody." Yakko beamed, blowing a kiss. Dot reached through the gate to pinch the guard's face.

"That's some imagination you've got there. But we're not jackals." Dot teased. She slipped a white box between the bars, and opened the lid. "This is a jackal." A wild canine sprang from the box with gaping jaws. The animated jackal extended its body so its front half chomped at the guard's face, while its bottom half stayed planted in the box. Above the screaming and ink-thirsty barking, a shrill voice broke up the commotion.

"Razoul! What's going on out here?" Minnie Mouse snapped. The fem mouse held her lavender princess gown with both hands, to swiftly march over to the guard. Just as soon as Dot's shapeshifting pet retreated back into its box, the Warners animated three golden halos over their heads. Razoul analyzed the black claw and teeth marks on his arms, before glaring daggers at the Warners. Minnie stepped between the Warners and Razoul, and crossed her arms. "Well?"

"These scoundrels tried to sneak in." Razoul roared. While Razoul didn't have an iron grip on the gate, Yakko pushed it open with ease.

"Ehhhhhh, 'tried' implies that we made an effort to sneak in. Which we didn't." Yakko commented.

"Yeah. 'Cause you're a push over." Wakko agreed. Razoul's fists tightened. Minnie stood her ground.

"Let them stay." She said firmly.

"What?!" Razoul burst. "But these outsiders were not invited!"

"We're not arguing animation origins tonight, Razoul. Check the honored guests." Minnie countered. The Warners didn't know it, but the party hosts used the term 'honored guest' to describe any toon who assisted in finding or guarding a clue to Walt's lost treasure, many years ago. And Bugs was one of them. Razoul summoned a scroll from his hammerspace, and read through the names. After a long glare at the Warners, he stepped aside.

"Thank you." Minnie stated. She walked back to the castle with her head held high. The Warners stayed close by her. "And Razoul..." Minnie called without looking back. "Next time don't assume a toon's studio defines them. If we all did that, Oswald wouldn't be here." She advised. The Warners made a mental note of Minnie's moral.

"So... what does your bouncer have against Warner Brothers?" Yakko wondered.

"Nothing really. I'm sorry that happened." Minnie apologized. "Some toons just prefer to keep close ties with other toons from their studio, and no one else." She explained. "But don't let that ruin your night. You're welcome here." Minnie assured. She lead them across the lawn, to the winding sidewalk.

"Good to be here." Dot responded politely.

"Mickey will be so glad you came." Minnie imagined. In mid step up three stone stairs, Minnie paused. She looked over the Warners curiously. "I should ask. Where's Bugs?" Minnie questioned.

"He's running late." Yakko lied.

"Yeah. He said he'd catch up with us later." Wakko aided. Minnie bought the lies immediately.

"Oh, well that's fine." She accepted. Minnie grabbed her PDA from her hammerspace, and skimmed the screen. Then she returned the PDA behind her. "Come in, and enjoy the party. I've got to go make my rounds, before the next minor disaster strikes. If there's anything you need, just holler." She offered.

"Actually we'd like to meet..." Dot began. In a flash her brothers ran across the lawn and dove heads first into the creek. Minnie covered her mouth in shock. Dot stretched her neck to see what grabbed her brothers' attention. Upstream, two aquamarine colored mermaid tails splashed. Air bubbles leaked the boys' catcall to the surface.

"Helloooo nurse!" The boys howled. Suddenly the boys were off, in pursuit of the mermaids.

"Oswald?" Dot finished. Minnie looked surprised; more at Dot than her brothers. Then she smiled.

"Okay. Let's see if we can find him." She replied. Dot joined the party hostess inside the castle.

Meanwhile, Yakko and Wakko swam like penguins at swift speeds after the mermaids. Surprisingly the creek was fairly deep by three foot tall toon standards. When the Warner Brothers were close enough to the mermaids, they stopped propelling their legs. Gently the boys glided within arms reach of the mermaids. The finned beauties gave Yakko and Wakko passing glances, then whipped their tails against the boys' faces in the process. Yakko and Wakko accidentally inhaled water in shock, and bolted to the surface. Seconds prior, a timid little elephant stuck his trunk in the creek to get a drink away from the elephants overcrowding the Mickey shaped fountain. Suddenly the Warners erupted from the creek in a coughing fit. The baby elephant stumbled back in fright, and cocooned his face in his giant ears. After Yakko and Wakko expelled all the water in their lungs, they noticed the shivering elephant at the water's edge.

"Sorry about that." Wakko apologized. Dumbo tentatively unveiled his face. "I wouldn't drink this stuff anyway, Dumbo. This water's got chlorine in it." Wakko discouraged. Dumbo hung his head in disappointment. He started to wander away. Feeling a sense of pity, Wakko whistled for Dumbo's attention. The baby elephant's ears perked up and fanned out. The middle Warner took a sealed water bottle from his hammerspace, and chucked it Dumbo's way. Instantly the baby elephant bounded into flight, catching the water bottle mid air. Dumbo raised the water bottle up with his trunk in salute to Wakko, as he soared over the castle wall. Yakko flicked drops of water at his brother's face. "Hey, do you think we should've stayed with Dot?" Wakko inquired out of the blue.

"Nah. We'll cover more ground this way. Besides, there's more fish in the pond." The eldest Warner insisted. Together the Warner brothers plunged back underwater. Their finned fixations were gone, but the brothers had a hunch where they had disappeared to. On the castle side of the creek, the water flowed into a side tunnel. It looked like an escape route Bugs would have if there was a stream around half his property. Leaning in closer, the Warner Brothers could see streaks of light, and hear the distinct sound of steel drums. Yakko led the way. He followed the music for ten long seconds. Then Yakko kicked his way out of the underwater hole in the wall, followed by Wakko. Suddenly the clearest sound flooded the brothers' ears. They sensed the music all around them, though the rhythmic sounds originated from the marine life band at the shallow end of the pool. Tropical fish, some hand-drawn and some computer generated, formed a conga line. The fish were accompanied on the underwater dancefloor by merfolk, sea turtles, octopuses, dolphins, and even a crocodile with a strange tick. A Jamaican crustacean conducted the band.

"Sing with me now!" Sebastian cheered.

Yakko and Wakko would have stayed underwater longer, entranced by the colorful surreality, but their lungs craved air. The Warner Brothers swam up toward the light. As soon as their heads broke the surface, Yakko and Wakko exhaled and wiped their faces. Still blinking the chlorine out of their eyes, the brothers paddled over to the nearest edge. Wakko kept his blurry vision locked on the water just ahead of him, until he spotted something red in the water. At the same moment, Yakko lightly shoved Wakko on the shoulder. Wakko wiped his eyes a second time, and realized it was a mermaid tail, swishing in the pool. His gaze slowly lifted from her tailfin to her face. The mermaid wore her bleach blonde hair in a loose ponytail. Her light bangs hung over one blue eye. And her red seashell top matched her fins.

"Um, you're staring at my tail." The mermaid remarked unsurely. Wakko wasted no time boosting to the pool's edge, to rest his elbow on floor level and his chin in his hand.

"You can stare at mine if you want to." Wakko purred. The blonde mermaid lifted her tail out of the pool and tucked it behind her.

"Why are you swimming in your tux?" The mermaid asked. Admittedly, Wakko felt a little embarrassed for looking like the guy at the pool party who didn't want to get wet, but fell in the pool anyway. But he kept playing his game with the mermaid, without missing a beat. The middle Warner did a spin change, creating a whirlpool around him. He hopped up in the mermaid's lap, sporting cerulean blue swim trunks.

"This better?" Wakko boasted, flexing his nonexistent muscles. The mermaid inched back, not knowing what to do.

"Um, girls?" She called for help.

"We know, Arista." One of her sisters flatly answered. Wakko looked behind the red tailed mermaid, discovering an in-floor Mickey shaped hot tub, full of mermaids. His tongue hung out of his mouth more than usual, as he marveled the enticing scene. The aquatic beauties were perfect except for one thing. Yakko saw them first.

"What took you so long, slowpoke?" Yakko teased. The eldest Warner continued to cuddle a pink tailed mermaid with blonde pixie hair. He nuzzled his backside against her breasts, gently lifted her wrists, and draped her arms across his chest. She giggled. "Hold me and don't ever let me go." Yakko pleaded, turning his head to brush his whiskers over her neck.

"I'll hold him!" A yellow tailed, dark brunette mermaid volunteered. Wakko took that as an invitation to jump into her arms before Yakko could. His plunge into the hot tub splashed heated water in the eager mermaid's face. She cradled him happily nonetheless.

"Adella! Don't encourage this." An orange tailed mermaid scolded. Her five pointed tiara held up her short brunette curls.

"But he's so soft. Like a kitten." Adella claimed.

"She's right." The mermaid cuddling Yakko, confirmed. Soon all six mermaids had their hands on the Warner Brothers. The girls massaged the Warners, playfully but with care as if they were handling pets. However, they unknowingly lulled Warner brothers into a trance of pure bliss. After a while, Yakko shakily looked up at the ceiling. Feeling light headed, Yakko suspected the hot tub was overheating him; along with another factor. He drowsily pried six or so hands off his belly and shoulders. Then he took a random mermaid's hand and kissed it. He didn't care which one.

"Wait for me." Yakko requested. The eldest Warner crawled out of the hot tub, and seated himself on the tiled floor. He tried to focus on something, anything before he started feeling sick. One character that caught his eye on the far side of the pool was Wendy Darling. Instead of wearing a modest one piece swimsuit from the 30's like every other woman in the room, Wendy still wore her party dress. Additionally, the girl occupied her time by stitching up a green fabric in her hands, rather than playing in the water. At least that was what Yakko could see, with an obese hippo obstructing his view. Most of Wendy's lower half was blocked by Hyacinth doing water ballet. Not that Yakko cared too much. It wasn't really his business what the young teen was doing. But Yakko watched her anyway. He decided he would watch her, until his head cooled down. "I suppose _you_ don't watch people in malls or airports." Yakko justified.

But when Hyacinth sank underwater, Yakko was hit with a surprise so shocking it made his stomach jump. Standing perfectly in line with Wendy was a black inkblot rabbit. It was only noticeable now that Wendy had been smiling and nodding to the rabbit the whole time. The rabbit was draped shoulder to toe in a white towel. But the silhouette of the rabbit's head was a perfect match to what Yakko had researched on the web.

'Oswald!' Yakko recognized.

"Wakko! There he is!" Yakko exclaimed, forgetting his brother was entranced by the mermaids.

"Can we have a chapter break here? I wanna enjoy this for a while." Wakko swooned. Now the mermaids were letting Wakko kiss them on the cheek. Yakko knew he was powerless to separate Wakko from that. Frantically, Yakko looked back and forth between the black rabbit and the hot tub full of mermaids. He had to get over there before Oswald got away.

"Forget it!" Yakko gave up. He bolted across the tiled room, abandoning Wakko at the hot tub. None of the hot tub occupants batted an eye at Yakko's absence.

"You're great company, Wakko. You should call us some time." Adella suggested. Abruptly Wakko felt wide awake again.

"Oh, wait! I almost forgot. I need to call someone." Wakko remembered. Arista lifted a pink conch shell from her hammerspace.

"Shell phone?" Arista offered. Wakko took hold of the obvious pun he knew he should have anticipated. He dialed a number on the keypad, where the shell caved in. Wakko listened to five gurgling tones before the call went to voicemail.

"Hello. You've reached the home of Buster and Babs Bunny. Please leave a message." A static filled voice answered.

"Hey, Buster. It's Wakko." Wakko began. "You should've come with us. Yakko, Dot, and I are having a blast! If you still wanna show up, just tell the big palooka at the gate, you're with Bugs, and he'll let you in. I'll see ya later." Wakko reported. The shell phone left Wakko's ear so he could press pink the button labeled 'END'.


	7. Some Truth

February 10, 2006 7:03 pm

Yakko raced up the tiled walkway, with the black rabbit in sight. His purple swim trunks, still soaked from his time in the hot tub, weighed down on his legs. His wet toes held little traction to the floor. But Yakko kept running. Just as he leaned into a sharp turn around the corner, one foot strayed too close to the water. Yakko unknowingly bore half his weight onto liquid. His foot sank in, then his leg, and before he knew it the rest of him followed. The teen Warner plunged into the pool with a giant splash, catching everyone around him by surprise; especially the black rabbit. Underwater, Yakko flailed and gulped up some chlorine water before he could stop himself. He managed to claw his way to the surface. Yakko uncontrollably coughed and gagged. His throat and nose still burned, but at least he was starting to feel better. Then Yakko gazed upward, still determined to interrogate Bugs' enemy. Yakko faced the black rabbit for the first time, and didn't see what he expected. She batted her long eyelashes back at Yakko. Her red lips parted slightly. The fem rabbit seemed concerned for Yakko. Truthfully Yakko couldn't care less about his prat fall. What mortified him was mistaking a doe for a buck! To make Yakko's embarrassment worse, the fem rabbit's white towel covering her back and shoulders, obviously couldn't hide the front of her low V-neck, white swimsuit. 'Why couldn't you just wear a giant pink bow on your head, and save me the trouble?!' Yakko thought. The tiny green party dress Wendy Darling mended, was the last straw for Yakko. He swam off before he could cause himself any more embarrassment.

Yakko paddled to the pool wall opposite from where he fell. He climbed to all fours on the tile floor, and shook off like a dog. A woman shrieked, but Yakko paid no mind. His fur was still a little damp. A thorough spin change into a dry tux, and he'd feel better. The last water droplets in Yakko's fur flew off as he changed. When Yakko stilled, he eyed a shapely human body helping herself off the floor. The brunette woman picked up the ends of her dampened purple dress. Yakko hadn't quite put it together yet, but the woman slipped in a puddle of pool water he shook off. The teen Warner apologetically offered his hand to the maiden. He prepared a smooth line, but the maiden swatted his hand away. Her seashell necklace glowed gold.

"You little fool! Look what you've done to my dress!" The woman hoarsely shouted. Yakko smugly rolled his eyes at her. 'Oh no. It's not like you live underwater.' Yakko thought.

"Well if you're going to talk to me like that, go choke on a shrimp!" He spat, showing his back to her. As Yakko spun on his toes, he tossed a banana peel behind him. Naturally the peel tripped up the maiden so she fell backwards into the pool. Golden whisps surrounded the necklace. Despite being drenched, the maiden's hair stood on end like porcupine quills. Her eyes pulsed red. It appeared she was about to show her true colors plus six tentacles. However Yakko disregarded her as he walked away. He could have done more until she apologized. But he had more important things to do. Yakko left the pool room through two glass panel doors. He knew it was best to keep searching.

February 10, 2006 7:05 pm

Dot grew extremely impatient with Minnie. The cutest Warner pouted as she dragged her bare feet a couple steps behind the hostess. Her head felt heavy from boredom. Oswald could have been putty in Dot's hands by now. But with Minnie as her guide, Dot had to wait on the sidelines every time Minnie patiently handled a crisis. And there was a lot to handle. Timon and Pumbaa tried to eat Jiminy Cricket. Elliott the dragon sneezed the kitchen on fire. How long had it been since Dot asked to see Oswald? A half hour? Forty minutes?

"Maybe he's in here." Minnie predicted.

Minnie pushed through a new pair of chestnut doors. With the motion, a wave of big band music burst out. Dot flinched from the overwhelming volume. She followed the hostess into the biggest room she'd seen yet; the ballroom. Golden hues painted the walls and floor. Sixteen pillars lined the room. One wall was almost entirely towering windows that brought in the deep blue night sky. It really was a beautiful setting. In a sense the ballroom was made more beautiful by the lively toons dancing to the live music. In one corner, a band of pink elephants morphed their trunks into various brass instruments. Minnie searched for a black rabbit about her height. The task proved to be difficult, since almost all the toons in the room were five foot or taller. In this mass of human toons, it was hard to find a small funny animal toon, and easy to lose one. Minnie glanced over her shoulder to make sure Dot was still nearby.

Dot's feet treaded after Minnie, but her attention was constantly on all the famous animated couples cutting a rug. She wouldn't admit it, but she felt a little star-struck. Seeing big name Disney toons in person was nothing new to Dot. After all most of Toontown's population was Disney toons. But in this atmosphere, seeing so many in one place, Dot almost forgot the cynical attitude toward Disney she was raised to express. Cinderella danced with Prince Charming. Belle held the Beast's paw. A human Ms. Potts partnered with Maurice. Aurora followed Prince Phillip's lead. Jasmine swayed in Aladdin's arms. Snow White danced with her prince when Dopey wasn't cutting in. Minnie sidestepped behind a pillar, and Dot realized why when she saw a large red and black striped obstacle spinning straight toward her. Dot darted to safety beside Minnie. Without a care, the weighty Queen of Hearts twirled on passed them. She held the White Rabbit up to her chest in a crushing grip. The Queen showed a rare smile. All the while the White Rabbit's fear-stricken eyes begged her to let him down.

"Jessica Rabbit, she's not." Dot commented. As the Queen danced on her way, purple stripes faded into view behind her neck. The Cheshire cat, draped his body over the Queen's shoulders like a fur stole, turned his head one hundred eighty degrees, and winked at Dot. The youngest Warner disregarded the cat. While they were out of anyone else's way, this was the perfect time for Dot to speak her mind to Minnie. "Can I talk to Oswald now, pretty please? I really, _really,_ wanna meet him." She pleaded. Her eyes became sparkly with teary irises. In this situation she figured it was better to be cute than pushy. Otherwise she might lose her guide.

"I'm sorry, Dot. Oh, here's someone who can help you." Minnie noticed. She gestured with open hand to a dancing couple. Dot scrutinized them. Clearly the identical inkblot cats were oblivious to everything but the music. The tom wore a maroon tux and the queen wore a magenta ball gown and a sparkling tiara. The cats' movement halted when the song ended. Tiredly, the queen cat panted.

"Hi, Ortensia." Minnie greeted, suddenly behind the queen cat. Ortensia's fine fur stood on end. Her heels caught inches of air as she twisted around in fright. She caused herself such a whiplash, that her tiara slipped down her forehead and covered her eyes. Minnie's hand shot out to steady her friend. "Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to introduce you to someone." Minnie apologized frantically. Dot raised her brow. A cat scared by a mouse? This party promised to be interesting after all.

"Oh, that's alright. This happens a lot." Ortensia sighed, recognizing Minnie's voice. Blindly, she fumbled with the tiara.

"Dot, meet Ortensia Cat. Ortensia, this is..." Minnie began.

"Princess Angelina," Dot interrupted. "Con...tessa...Lou..." Dot's introduction slowed as a strange instinct came over her. Ortensia lifted the tiara off her face and met Dot eye to eye for the first time. They were instantly hypnotized. "You look just like me." Dot gasped. Ortensia struggled for words. The likeness she and this toon child shared was uncanny. Not because the girl was a perfect miniature version of her. That she had seen before in other inkblots. But because this girl was not an inkblot. She was a hue, which only semi resembled Ortensia as well as something else. Something very familiar.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Princess." Ortensia smiled, finding her voice.

"Call me Dot." The youngest Warner replied.

"Dot. That's a lovely name." Ortensia complimented. A pause settled between them until Ortensia remembered her dance partner.

"Homer, could you go check on the twins?" Ortensia requested. Homer stared back at her strangely, but dutifully obliged. He wandered off, leaving the girls alone. While Ortensia and Dot remained frozen in their trance, Minnie stood between the two toons, equally baffled.

"Ortensia, Dot wanted to know..." Minnie started. However a new minor disaster arrived in the sound of bells. Tinkerbell flew to Minnie like a shooting star. Dot admired her frail and shimmering beauty, until she felt a twinge of jealousy. The little bug was tinier, ergo cuter than her. Dot prepared to test the pixie's legendary temper. "Oh, hello Tinkerbell." Minnie chimed sweetly. Dot relaxed her fists. She restrained herself for the time being. Tinkerbell jingled her message to Minnie.

"**** **+**+ ********"

"She is?" Minnie worried.

"+**+*******"

"I see." Minnie pondered. Ortensia and Dot exchanged puzzled looks.

"What's wrong?" Ortensia inquired.

"It's Maleficent. She just flew in, and somebody has to go make her feel welcome. Or else." Minnie dreaded. Tinkerbell pointed to herself and then wagged her finger as if to communicate 'And it won't be _me_!'

"You invited _her_?!" Ortensia panicked. "Minnie, of all parties? Of all nights?"

"Trust me. We're better off inviting her than not." Minnie promised. "And don't worry. You won't even know she's here. I'll take care of everything." She placated. Her own words made her a deer in headlights. She doubted she could juggle one more catastrophe tonight. But she stood by her word. "I'll welcome Maleficent. As long as you and Oswald are having a better time than I am, then it'll all be worth it." Minnie optimized. She tried to leave with haste, but paused a couple steps away. "Dot, you can ask anything you like." Minnie granted. With that, the hostess took off. Tinkerbell looped over Dot's head, and flew away in her own direction. Dot cupped traces of fallen pixie dust in her hands. If she were like her brothers, she would have ingested it to see if it tasted like powdered sugar. Instead she pulled her glove inside out, and packed the dust away for safe keeping. Dot glanced at Ortensia, only to find the cat uncomfortably looking at her. The Warner sister watched her hands while she placed on a new opera glove and sorted her thoughts. Ortensia Cat. Somehow Dot knew she shared a connection with the inkblot cat, who apparently shared a connection with Oswald. If she got to know them both, she could hit two birds with one stone. Dot snapped her glove on her wrist.

"So what did you want to ask me, dear." Ortensia questioned. She mistook Dot's quiet scheming for shyness.

"Did I tell you yet you're tiara's beautiful?" Dot flattered. Ortensia giggled. She turned her head to profile, modeling the tiara. A diamond studded band shaped of roses glittered across her forehead. Giving the tiara more attention, Dot felt somewhat inferior with her fabric based pink daisy barrette.

"Thank you. It's an anniversary gift." Ortensia beamed. Dot's face fell with embarrassment.

"My bad then. Sorry to steal you from your man." Dot cringed. The cat looked at her strangely. Then she understood.

"Oh, don't be silly! Homer's not my husband. He's my little brother." Ortensia laughed.

Unknown to Dot, Ortensia's real husband stood not fifty feet away from her. The lucky rabbit sported a charcoal grey suit and blue bowtie for possibly the greatest night of his life. A ring of animated friends shielded him from Dot's view. They all patted him on the back and asked questions. If not for this special treatment, Oswald would be dancing with his wife now and through the night. Although he didn't really mind being the center of attention. An auburn haired human toon dressed in a yellow puff sleeve shirt and culottes, knelt to embrace Oswald with a friendly arm across his shoulders.

"Mon ami! How does it feel, to be home?" Lumiere inquired. "That is to say, by law." He corrected himself. Oswald understood what his friend meant. The rabbit already heard that speech from Mickey.

"It's like cloud nine, Lumiere." Oswald grinned. A doll-like blonde haired blue eyed girl curtsied to him.

"Will you make any more cartoons, Mr. Rabbit?" Alice questioned.

"Well it's hard to say when that will be. I've only been back two days, so there's no film productions in the works yet. But Iger says he's got big plans for me." Oswald explained. "He hasn't let me down yet. So... we've all got big hopes for the future." The rabbit finished. His friends agreed with warm smiles. An emerald hanfu garbed maiden stooped to extend a formal handshake to the rabbit. Oswald eagerly accepted it.

"We're so grateful you're here, Oswald. It's an honor to welcome an old friend home." Mulan praised, speaking for herself and Shang. "Are you excited to influence a new generation?" She asked.

"I think I already am." Oswald beamed. "You wouldn't believe it, but ever since yesterday, younger fans have been crawling out of the woodworks to meet me!"

"Oswald? Why couldn't you just be a Disney toon sooner? I can't remember." A blonde boy, about Oswald's height admitted. The air thickened with solemn silence despite the blaring trombone music across the room. Oswald would admit now the constant attention was wearing out its welcome. He bit his bottom lip nervously.

"Um, that's complicated, Chip." Oswald answered. He took a deep breath. "After my cartoons bit the dust in the '40's, I was kind of trapped in limbo bec-AHH!" Oswald yelped, feeling his whole left leg detach from his body. He balanced himself on hand and knee just in time to see a stretched inkblot arm make off with his foot. The arm retracted under Slue-Foot Sue's pale yellow dress. Rather than shrieking in fright, Sue flipped her red braids behind her shoulders, took a step backwards, and jabbed the heel of her boot into the thief's arm. She calmly lifted her skirt and walked aside, revealing the inkblot hand, crushed and sparking stars. Its arm extended far from the unseen inkblot's body. "Hey, buster! There's easier ways to get a lucky rabbit's foot!" Oswald called out furiously.

The injured hand released its grip on the rabbit's foot, and the whole leg came hopping back to Oswald. Swiftly the inkblot arm retracted to a normal length. The human toons parted three rows to reveal a black bear in a white tux and top hat, shorter than Oswald, holding his wrist gently. Oswald instantly forgot his temper at the sight of his old friend.

"Toby!" Oswald exclaimed. He raced up to the bear, eagerly shook his hand, and pulled him into a hug. Toby mirrored the motions with the same excitement. For a moment, Oswald only communicated to Toby with a wide open smile. The two friends grew up together as silent toons, and learned early on that what they could say without words was always enough. Then Oswald remembered just what started the scene. He did a quick glance back at Sue. Though the rabbit didn't mind Toby's antics, they both had a family friendly reputation to uphold, being Disney toons. Oswald hit his friend over the head as a reminder. "You cad." He scolded. Toby scratched his head and slyly winked.

"Um, Oswald?" Chip said. The rabbit turned around while elbowing Toby in the side to get him moving. Oswald hastily picked up his story where he left off.

"And then Mickey showed up with a snow globe, and we all ate Christmas cake! The end!" Oswald blurted. In a grey blur, Oswald and Toby bolted from the ballroom. They plowed the heavy doors open, rocketed through and left the corridor before the ballroom doors slammed shut. The rabbit dragged his feet on the floor to make a screeching halt in front of the bronze colored elevator doors. A second behind him, Toby used less friction and more rabbit to be his brakes. The bear bumped into his old friend. Oswald teasingly shoved him back.

"Toby Bear, you haven't changed a bit." Oswald commented, tapping the call button.

 **And you've changed a lot.** The silent toon signed.

"I know. I know. Mickey's turning me soft. Go ahead and laugh." Oswald groaned.

 **No, I mean you're happy now.** Toby clarified.

"Yeah. I am." The rabbit agreed, reflecting on the words. Oswald would admit he had an awful disposition back when he and Toby were in Walter Lantz cartoons. Thank goodness things were different now. "C'mon. Let's see if there's a dark corner in this castle where nobody can congratulate me." Oswald invited, as the elevator doors slid open. The rabbit and bear entered in the red carpeted box. Oswald pressed a random button, causing the doors to close.

 **Were y** **ou in trouble back there?** Toby queried.

"No. But _you_ were heading for hot water." Oswald replied. Toby shook off the rabbit's chiding. "Around here only villains go fondling skirts, Toby." Oswald lectured.

 **How could I touch her if your foot was in my hand?** The bear cleverly retorted. Oswald dropped the subject. The toons waited quietly for a moment, until Toby expanded more on his first question. **W** **hy are we running?**

"Because you caused a diversion, and I literally ran with it." Oswald rushed. The rabbit shifted uncomfortably. "I guess I got cold feet when I started talking about the end of my career..." Something tightened in Oswald's throat. His eyes shifted away from Toby. "I remembered how no one really noticed me when I was there and... No one cared when I disappeared." Oswald mumbled. He exhaled heavily. "I just need some time away from all the excitement." The rabbit stated. A chime sounded, and the elevator let the toons off at a lower floor. Oswald stepped out, but Toby paused at the doorway. It hurt to think he could have done more as a friend, when Oswald needed him most. It hurt even worse to know his guilt-ridden suspicions were true. The rabbit looked back to the bear holding the elevator door.

"Are you coming?" Oswald asked. Toby nodded. He joined Oswald at his side, and wandered wherever the rabbit chose to go. Toby's conscience whispered thoughts he wished he had told Oswald sixty-something years ago.

'I care.'

February 10, 2006 7:30 pm

"So the next day, when the sun was highest in the sky, all the merfolk in Atlantica came out for the duel between Glut the great white shark and Monstro the sperm whale." Alana narrated. Wakko's eyes fell shut. For the third time, Wakko slouched face first in the water. Chlorine in his nose alerted him to pick his head up again. Wakko really tried to listen to the story. But the hot water and jets numbed his senses. After over a half hour of exposure, Wakko struggled to stay awake. All six sisters noticed, but Attina spoke up first.

"Maybe you should get dry, and take a rest." The orange tailed mermaid suggested, already lifting Wakko out of the hot tub. Wakko hung limply in her hands.

"But I wanna hear the story." Wakko whined. Attina set Wakko down on the dry floor. The mermaids nodded to each other. One by one, they scooted out of the hot tub, and slid tail first into the pool. Their heads sank in the water and did not emerge again. "Hey, don't go." Wakko weakly protested.

"Sorry Wakko. We'll call you sometime." Alana promised. With that, she dipped her blue tail in the pool, and descended with her sisters. They all left him without a care in the world. Wakko frowned. He needed something to eat. Slowly Wakko rose to his feet, but paused when his knees trembled. His head felt heavy and his ears pounded with pressure. Suddenly walking around didn't seem like such a good idea. Wakko steadied himself on all fours. With cat like posture, the middle Warner proceeded to take the long walk around the pool. Wakko doubted he had the energy to swim back the way he came. So he stalked toward the glass panel doors and the rest of the castle on the other side. Along the way, something caught the fevered Warner's attention. He spotted a side table and half a shoebox wrapped in red paper. Wakko lifted his hands off the floor and straightened his back to get a better look. The front of the box was labelled by a black framed index card, which read 'Welcome Home cards'. Next to the box were a bucket of Sharpie markers, a stack of blank three by five inch cards, a stack of multicolored envelopes, and a display of painted scallop shells. On each shell, the grooved side was painted a solid blue, green, white or the occasional pink. Every smooth side was decorated with a simple, but unique design. Some had palm trees, jellyfish, anchors, starfish, crashing waves or Hawaiian flowers. The shells were obviously homemade crafts, but still looked nice. Wakko dug through the card box, filled with closed envelopes and a couple shells. One pink shell with a sailboat in sunset colored water, was signed by Ariel.

'To my friend, Oswald. I'm glad you're officially part of the Walt Disney Company again. But what I want to tell you the most, is you were always one of the family to me. Your friendship has made my world a lot brighter. I never knew Walt, but I think he would be happy to know you're not coming home a stranger. You have many friends here, who care about you and love you. Sincerely your true friend and family, Ariel."

Wakko snooped through more shells. They were all inscribed with congratulatory messages or reminiscent stories about Oswald. It seemed Ariel was right. Even though Oswald only rejoined the Walt Disney Company a short time ago, he already made several Disney toon friends in the past as a Universal toon. Now those friends couldn't be more happy for him. Wakko returned the shells to the box. He quickly spin changed into a dry tux. In doing so, he nearly collapsed to the floor from a dizzy spell. Wakko summoned a bushel of carrots from his hammerspace. That would hold him over until he found a buffet. Wakko ventured into the rest of the castle, munching away at the carrots. Then just ahead of him, he sighted a female mountain gorilla walking on her toes and knuckles. She carried a rowdy baby gorilla on her back. Wakko leapt on her back as well. With all the fuss her baby was making, the mother gorilla didn't detect Wakko's extra weight. The baby gorilla squeaked when Wakko landed next to him. So Wakko swiftly stuffed a carrot in the baby gorilla's mouth. Contented by the offering, the baby gorilla gnawed on the carrot and left Wakko alone. Wakko smiled and relaxed on his stomach, still physically drained from the hot tub. His eyes fell shut while he regained his strength, but crucial thoughts kept him conscious. Oswald wasn't turning out to be the antagonistic type Wakko imagined. The more he pondered the good things written of Oswald, the more Bugs seemed suspicious. Perhaps this stranger was a good guy and Bugs was in the wrong. 'What did you do in '83, Bugs?' Wakko wondered.

Suddenly the middle Warner slipped from the gorilla's back. Before he could anchor himself, Wakko's right side crashed against the floor. Wakko winced and slowly raised his head while the mother gorilla walked on. She never noticed his absence, or presence for that matter. Wakko picked himself off the floor, and thoroughly inspected his sleeves. Suddenly he realized the bushel of carrots was gone. Wakko glared daggers at the baby gorilla. The primate in question lazily patted his extended belly. Just as Wakko suspected, the thieving monkey stole his carrots! Wakko prepared to pounce on the gorilla's back again; this time to teach her baby a lesson. But the middle Warner paused in mid step, when the gorillas passed a flashing movie poster on the wall. The glorified image of an inkblot rabbit, framed in lightbulbs, halted Wakko's impulse. He approached the framed art. The beige poster featured Oswald adorning a metal helmet and khaki shorts. The rabbit pulled the string on a tiny cork cannon, aimed at an armed mouse no taller than Oswald's hip. 'UNIVERSAL presents OSWALD The Lucky Rabbit in GREAT GUNS A Winkler Production by WALT DISNEY' the poster read. Wakko's brow raised in surprise. His eyes darted around to see the real attraction he'd stumbled into.

Wakko stood in a corner of a brightly lit octagon shaped lobby. Four of the eight walls held a door and a movie poster framed in lightbulbs. Each one displayed an image of Oswald. The irresistible smell of buttered popcorn lured Wakko away from the walls. Wakko could spare a few seconds to grab a bite to eat, couldn't he? After all the Oswald cartoon and the big clue the Warners were searching for wasn't going anywhere.

At the center of the lobby was a giant popcorn machine on wagon wheels and a self serving snack bar, complete with everything edible Wakko could imagine on a stick. Dumbo elephant ears, Hidden Mickey pretzels and cinnamon rolls, Sleeping Death caramel apples, and fried Giant Peaches were just a small selection. Wakko skipped up to the popcorn machine and opened the glass door. Red and white striped paper bags for carrying popcorn servings were set beside the machine. However Wakko took the plastic scoop, and filled up his gag bag with the crunchy snack. Then middle Warner helped himself to five or so more snacks. He picked up a green apple dipped in a skull-like smear of caramel, just out of curiosity. Just as he did so, he heard a chattering sound. Across the table, a small monkey in a fez and vest, held three caramel apple sticks with the curl of his tail. But he wanted Wakko's most of all.

"You wouldn't want this one." Wakko taunted, crunching half the apple in his mouth. "Its got cooties." Abu grimaced and stuck out his tongue. The monkey retreated, taking three apples with him.

Satisfied with a plentiful amount of sugar and carbs in his grasp, Wakko marched into the same home theater room he spied. Inside, the lights only gave the room a soft amber glow. The light from the giant screen traced the four rows of reclining chairs more than the ceiling lights did. Wakko froze in the isle when he saw Oswald on the big screen. Unfortunately the Warner brother caught Oswald doing his signature ending pose, with his tail flaunted at the audience to show the cartoon had come to 'The End'. Fortunately, Wakko knew for certain he liked the rabbit now. The screen faded to black, then flashed to a variety of inkblot animals, including one that looked like an Oswald prototype. They gathered around the 'GREAT GUNS!' title card. Wakko figured the cartoon was on loop. He shrugged and sat down for another showing.

Suddenly the lights flicked off. The whole room went dark. With his fairly good night vision, Wakko scanned the room for something the matter. He didn't see anything frightening, but he undoubtedly heard a cause for alarm. A sinister cackle sounded unnervingly close behind Wakko.

"Yah! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Yah! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Chills ran down Wakko's spine. His black fur paled by a few tints. Wakko shrank into a ball under his hat. 'Please don't be a clown! Please don't be a clown!' He prayed.

Suddenly the Headless Horseman and his hellish steed charged down the isle, shrouded in heavy shadows cast by the red light of the jack-o-lantern under his arm. The Horseman swung his sword out, toying with his captive audience. The party guests ducked and cowered. Swiftly the horse and master flew as one shadow to the front row. The petrified audience watched the Headless Horseman hunch over the jack-o-lantern he pressed against his gut. The pumpkin's face erupted with a stronger fiery glow. It lit up the Headless Horseman's collar, showing just how hollow he was around the neck. A piercing scream rattled the ears, to those who had them, causing the Headless Horseman to raise his sword in twisted delight. The chase was on. In a flash, man, woman, and animal stampeded out of the theater, with the Headless Horseman riding at their heels. Still curled under his hat, Wakko shivered even more when the commotion silenced. He raised the cap enough to take a peak out. The lights turned on again.

"Thanks, H.H." A new voice hollered. Wakko popped back into his usual shape and crouched against the recliner in front of him. "Talk to Mickey about it now? What, and let him know I'm having a relapse?" The voice inquired agitatedly. "I have to stop using my brother as a crutch at some point." The voice argued. "Besides, I've found _this_ very therapeutic." Cautiously Wakko poked his head over the backrest. The middle Warner flinched at what he witnessed. Weightlessly, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit floated upside down in mid air. His back arched. His arms hung limp. Only the steady flapping of the rabbit's ears kept him airborne.

"It's him." Wakko breathed. Instinctually, Oswald's ear twitched at the foreign sound. The rabbit flipped upright, and spotted Wakko's red hat immediately.

"Hey!" Oswald exclaimed. The rabbit swooped down to Wakko's level. If not for the tall ears and three or four inches on the top, the inkblot rabbit would have stood at the same height as the kid toon. "Weren't you scared of the ghost?" Oswald inquired.

"Ghost? No I'm only scared of two things; clowns that throw me in the basement and dinosaurs that sing educational morals to one dimensional preschoolers." Wakko rambled. The rabbit chuckled under his breath.

"Who are you?" Oswald queried with a smile.

"I'm Wakko." He replied.

"Right you are." Oswald perceived. "Hey, Toby! C'mere! Meet Wakko." The rabbit called to his friend. The inkblot bear joined the duo, and shook Wakko's hand.

"Good trick by the way. I can do that too." Wakko complimented Oswald. He demonstrated by spinning his ears to lift himself a couple inches off the ground.

"Can you stand on your head?" Oswald challenged.

"Can you?" Wakko countered. The rabbit plucked his head off his shoulders, and placed it under his foot like a kickball. "Faboo!" Wakko cheered.

February 10, 2006 9:10 pm

Somewhere in Toontown two rabbits kissed passionately in near pitch blackness, save for the flickering of a single candle. Dark silhouettes on the wall explored each other's bodies. Bugs blindly unzipped his date's ruby dress, while interlocking his lips with hers. Daisy Lou had long since pried away every piece of Bugs' tux.

"How did I ever... leave you?" Daisy Lou panted between kisses. Bugs didn't want that topic to spoil the evening. He tenderly placed a finger on her lips.

"We don't have ta talk right now." He whispered. Suddenly Bugs felt a vibration on his hip. His first instinct was to ignore it. But then he reconsidered. Reluctantly Bugs shifted away from his date.

"Sorry, Doll. It's probably th' kids." He excused himself, summoning his cell phone from his hammerspace. He marched to a dark corner for privacy.

"Dis had bettah be good, Doc." Bugs growled.

"Uncle Bugs!" Clyde's voice cried over the phone. Disappointedly, Bugs shook his head. Something just had to go wrong tonight.

"Calm down, Nephew." Bugs soothed. "Just tell me what happened."

"The Warners! They're gone!" Clyde shouted. His uncle felt a ton of bricks hit him.

"WHAT?!" Bugs panicked.

"They snuck out! I fell asleep watching a movie, and when I woke up the Warners were gone!" Clyde continued.

"Don't move, Doc! I'll be home ASAP." Bugs commanded.

"Wait! Buster's here to tell ya something important." Clyde relayed hurriedly.

"Buster?" Bugs questioned. The rabbit heard shuffling noises as the home phone was handed over to Buster.

"Hiya, Teach." Buster said nervously.

"Buster, what're ya doin' at my place?" Bugs groaned.

"Trying to get a hold of you. I called three times, and all I got was the answering machine. So I came over here to tell you in person." Buster informed. "That's when I found Clyde out cold and earmuffed." He added uncomfortably. By that description, Bugs knew exactly what the underhanded sneaks had done. Bugs' brow furrowed in rage. He could tolerate a lot of havoc from those three. But no one, not even children got away with taking advantage of Clyde's trust! Bugs vowed to find the Warners and ground them for life! "Listen, I think the Warners are in trouble." Buster warned.

"They won't know da meaning of da woid till I get my hands on 'em!" Bugs fumed.

"No, I mean worse than that. See, Babs and I caught a late movie, and when we came home, I noticed Wakko left a message on the answering machine..." The blue rabbit explained.

"When was dat timed?" Bugs inquired.

"Two hours ago." Buster replied gravely.

"Did he say where he was at?" The elder rabbit hoped.

"He didn't have to. I know where they are." Buster sheepishly confessed.

"Where?!" Bugs demanded.

"At Mickey Mouse's house, looking for Oswald." The blue rabbit unveiled. Shaken by the revelation, Bugs fell silent. Visions of the inevitable clouded his thoughts. One more nightmare Bugs tried to outrun had finally begun.

"Wait a sec! Da Warners talked to ya yesterday. Correct?" Bugs figured. "You knew dis would happen and ya waited till now ta have a conscience?!" He snapped.

"I didn't wanna rat on them if they didn't actually go through with it!" Buster justified. The elder rabbit bit his tongue to stop interrogating Buster any further.

"Alright, just stay der' till I get home wit' da Warners." Bugs ordered and hung up abruptly. Worriedly, Daisy Lou ventured close to him. Her hand gently brushed his shoulder.

"Is something wrong?" Daisy Lou whispered.

"Ya can't imagine." Bugs seethed through his teeth.


	8. More Truth

February 10, 2006 9:10 pm

As the night grew longer, and the stars shined brighter on the Mouse castle, Mickey couldn't be more pleased by how well things were turning out. Though if he had one complaint, it was Oswald's absence. Mickey intended to party at his brother's side, the whole night through. But friends whisked the rabbit away hours ago. So Mickey accompanied his friends Goofy, Jose, and Panchito for a while. The four friends celebrated in the Mouse kids' dance studio, along with a wide mix of colorful characters. While not as fancy as the ballroom, the simple wooden floor and mirrored walls kept a large sum of party guests on their feet. The tapping of every foot made a song all its own, underlying the DJ's bass. During a break between songs, Mickey tugged on Jose's sleeve to get his attention off the senhoras. The parrot reluctantly followed the mouse's lead out of the crowd. They stopped beside their reflections on the wall.

"Há algo errado?" Jose wondered. Mickey shook his head and smiled.

"Nothing's wrong Jose. I just wanna thank you for all of this." Mickey told his honored guest. The green parrot's smooth demeanor was shattered by the surprise in his eyes.

"Não, não, Mickey! I cannot... eh..." Jose stuttered. Though flattered, he wouldn't take credit for the efforts of many. "I understand you are grato pela minha ajuda to Walt. But my assistance, it stops there. Esta fiesta, é not my doing. Please, thank yourself e Minnie." He insisted.

"I know, but there wouldn't be a party if it wasn't for you. I really mean it, Jose. Thanks." Mickey proclaimed. The parrot gave up arguing the subject any further.

"De nada." Jose accepted. From afar, Panchito noticed his two friends isolated themselves from the dancefloor. The rooster decided to investigate; for the sake of his dear friends of course. He shrank down under his sombrero, until the hat's brim touched the floor. One dark red sleeved arm snuck out from under the hat and gave the brim a good swing. The sombrero soared clear over bears, foxes, a Tigger, a puppet and other characters. Gently the beige sombrero landed on Jose's head.

"Oh?" Mickey expressed, watching the hat. The mouse didn't know what to think, but the green parrot had this routine all figured out. This was the part where Panchito popped out of his sombrero, and settled cross-legged on Jose's head. Though Panchito more often played this little joke Donald. Thinking ahead, the parrot flipped the sombrero twice in mid air, caught the brim, and shook the rooster out. Panchito plummeted beak first on the floor. The rooster winced up at Mickey.

"Que pasa?" Panchito inquired. The party host didn't hesitate to help his guest back to his feet.

"Oh, I was just thanking Jose for helping Walt with the snow globe." Mickey explained. Panchito eyed the parrot, and playfully punched his friend in the ribs.

"Si, he's a good fellow." The rooster commented somewhat sarcastically. Then as if nothing had occurred, Panchito skipped a few strides and waved his arm to the dancefloor. "Vamos, amigos. The night is young." The rooster invited.

"Actually I was about to go get some fresh air..." Mickey confessed. Panchito bounded back to the mouse and parrot.

"Okay, Amigo. Hasta pronto!" He beamed. The avian cowboy was willing to let Mickey go, but unsurprisingly he physically herded Jose back to the party. Not that force was necessary. Mickey shook his head, watching the feathered wolves glide by the hips of their next fixations. Jose and Panchito were certainly lively and spirited friends. But they were also romantic fools. Promptly, Mickey turned for the door with a new relief for being a married mouse. On his way through the halls, the mouse paused frequently to say hello to friends.

"Aloha, cousin." Stitch garbled.

"Aloha, Stitch." Mickey replied.

"Zip-ah-dee-doo-dah, neighbor." Br'er Rabbit called.

"Zip-ah-dee-ay." Mickey answered back.

Eventually Mickey found himself back under the blue, black, and gold canopy of balloons, as well as Oswald's welcome home banner. Before he could reach the front door however, a tall blue figment caught his eye. The deep blue shadow floated along the wall, then vanished.

"Master Yen Sid." The mouse breathed.

Mickey strode to an unsuspecting panel of wall where he last saw the figment. Unseen to the naked eye, the particular panel was one of many secret passageways in the Mouse castle. The mouse gave just the lightest push on the wall, and the panel became a revolving door that swept Mickey to the other side. Now in a dark space, no bigger than a coat closet, Mickey yanked a string over his head to turn on a lightbulb. He discovered the wooden door facing him was unlocked and ajar. Beyond the door, the walls hugged the stairs up the narrow passage. Mickey assumed his teacher meant to lead him up the tower to speak in private. The master was too proud to be seen at a whimsical party after all. To respect his master, Mickey summoned his sorcerer's apprentice robe before meeting Master Yen Sid. The mouse tightened his rope belt and rolled down his red sleeves. Then he pressed on, climbing the winding stairs of the tower. It was practically pitch black until the mouse stepped up to the first floor. The round unpainted room glowed from three candelabra lanterns hanging on the wall. Large antiques from Mickey's past were packed together, leaving little walking space. Among the ancient equipment was a horse carriage, brass era cars, a biplane disassembled into three pieces, a steam engine train which hardly stood thrice Mickey's height wheels to chimney, and even a silver robot wearing boxing gloves.

In the seat of one of the early automobiles, Yakko Warner studied a paper in hand. The dumbfounded mouse gawked at the unexpected guest and pondered. Neither Master Yen Sid or his aura were anywhere to be found. But Yakko's presence was not unwanted. Just very surprising. How the child unlocked the secret door without a key or spell was beyond Mickey. Furthermore, in Mickey's last conversation with the Warners' guardian, Bugs was adamant on not attending the party. Mickey wondered what could have changed his friend's mind.

Suddenly Yakko sensed someone watching him. Hastily he shoved the paper back in the obvious cubical glove compartment. The teen Warner darted his head towards the famous mouse, just standing there in his magical robe. For only a fraction of a second, Yakko hesitated. If Mickey had blinked, he would have missed the moment Yakko acknowledged Mickey was the real deal. Immediately after, the eldest Warner hopped out of the black automobile and nonchalantly leaned his elbow on the door.

"You always dress like that for your parties?" Yakko distracted so the mouse wouldn't ask what he was digging into.

"Oh, this? No, I just thought you were someone else." Mickey answered honestly. As he approached, Mickey willed the magic robe to mist away, leaving him dressed in a black tux, red pants, and a yellow bowtie. The mouse started over, offering Yakko a formal handshake.

"Hi there! You must be Yakko." Mickey greeted. Yakko tilted his chin down to Mickey. Oddly the mouse didn't seem mad that Yakko intruded on his fancy castle attic space. Yakko shook the mouse's hand.

"Well if I must, ehhhhh I guess I could play the part." The teen Warner joked. Mickey smiled at Yakko's wit, which reminded him well of Bugs.

"Ha-ha. It's really nice to finally meet you, Yakko. Bugs has told me so much about you." The mouse chatted. 'And yet he's never mentioned you' Yakko sassed in his mind.

"In that case, I'm innocent. I swear." The Warner actually spoke. Mickey chuckled.

"And Bugs is with you?" The mouse checked, just as Minnie had done. "I'll have to have a talk with him, about you sneaking up here." Mickey lightly chided.

"Yeah, he should be around here somewhere." Yakko lied with ease. He wasn't deterred by Mickey's warning at all.

"Have you seen the outside?" Mickey questioned. Whatever the mouse implied, went straight over Yakko's head.

"Ehhh... Well I didn't just teleport my way in." Yakko answered.

"C'mon." Mickey directed. He lead the way to a braided rope hanging from the ceiling. Of course Yakko noticed the rope before, but chose to leave it alone. In his home district of Toontown, if one pulled a suspicious looking rope, they were liable to get crushed by a safe. However when the mouse yanked on the rope, it unraveled into a rope ladder. Yakko scrutinized the ladder.

"You get a kick out of living in a fun house?" Yakko guessed. Mickey scaled the rope ladder to the top and pushed upon a trap door in the ceiling. Yakko eventually followed suit, climbing up, and hoisting himself to his hands and knees on the next floor. He emerged on cool bricks at the tower's peak. A gust of night air chilled the young toon's face. Seeing Mickey was waiting on him, Yakko stood up right, and they walked to the edge of the battlement. From up there, Yakko could see a wave of color from the lively toon guests in the courtyard, the drive, and the brook. They all seemed to be shimmering stars compared to the forest green lawn and the indigo horizon. A dark sorcerer arrived with a masked woman in a puff of ruby smoke. Generations of luminescent blue spirits chuckled while their fiery red companion comically told as well as acted out a tall tale. Gold and burnt orange lion brothers stood side by side despite their differences. A fluttering blue hornbill seemed very pleased by their compromise. Higher to Mickey and Yakko's level, the Genie soared over their heads like a crystal blue comet.

"It's great when everybody gets together." Mickey marveled. Yakko drew his attention back to Mickey. The mouse cast his starry eyes not to his family below, but to the heavens. Yakko figured now was his best chance to bring out the big guns, so to speak. This would be the moment to make his scheme all worth while. Yakko pouted his lips.

"Yeah. I just wish Art could be here." Yakko baited. Mickey looked up at Yakko in shock.

"You know about Art?" Mickey gasped. The edge of Yakko's mouth almost hinted a smile. He tried to remain sorrowful in appearance.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?" Yakko tested, not meeting Mickey's eyes.

"Well..." The mouse started. "I guess you _would_ know. It's just that... nobody's spoken of Art in a long time."

"Why?" Yakko queried. Mickey folded his arms thoughtfully. It took some time for him to answer.

"Because we all moved on... except for Bugs." He paused again. "Usually I'm the one to say 'don't lose hope' or 'never give up'. But sometimes I think hope is hurting Bugs more than helping. Nowadays all Bugs ever does at the mention of Art's name is beat himself up. It's really hard to watch him go through those episodes." Mickey confessed. Yakko raised his brow. He didn't expect such heartbreaking honesty from the happiest toon on Earth. As if he realized he made a mistake, Mickey cleared his throat. "Please don't tell him I said any of this. I know what it's like when friends pressure you to stop grieving." Mickey requested.

"Yeah. No problem." Yakko solemnly agreed. "So, I take it you and Art were kind of close?" Yakko queried.

"Uh-huh. He and my kids used to play together." Mickey contently reminisced.

"You have kids?" Yakko couldn't help blurting out. The mouse laughed amusedly. To keep the subject on Art, Yakko didn't let him reply. "Did Oswald meet him?" Yakko put in.

"No." Mickey said thoughtfully. "Oswald always kept his distance from Art."

"Why?" Yakko queried again.

"You seem awfully curious about Art." Mickey observed. Yakko's eyes shifted awkwardly between Mickey and the courtyard below.

"I am. I mean it's like you said. Bugs doesn't like to talk about him anymore." Yakko thought up. Mickey looked sorrowfully at Yakko. He understood everything now; or so he thought.

"Bugs really hasn't told you much, has he?" Mickey realized. He stood at attention, and in all sincerity offered Yakko a generous gift. Answers. "Yakko, I would be happy to tell you all about Art Bunny."

"Really?" Yakko gasped.

"Yeah. In a way Bugs' family is your family. So I think you deserve to know." Mickey explained with a friendly smile. Yakko returned one of gratitude. Suddenly a commotion rose up from the courtyard. Toons rushed out of the way of something low to the ground and moving fast.

"What's going on down there?" Mickey wondered. Yakko studied how the toons parted a weaving line where no one walked. No, instead of walking in and making his presence known, a new guest tunneled his way in, pushing up a trail of earth under everyone's feet. Yakko's heart jumped to his throat and dropped to his stomach. This could only mean one thing. A furious rabbit was on his way to kill the Warner trio.

"Uh-oh." Yakko gulped. "I gotta run!" The young toon bolted for the trap door and sprang inside the tower. Meanwhile Mickey was left in the dark, without an inkling of what was the matter.

February 10, 2006 9:28 pm

At ground level, Bugs stuck his head out of the dirt to survey his surroundings. Though the castle had changed a lot, the rabbit was certain he found the right address; and by the looks of the toony but civil guests, the right party. Suddenly Bugs felt a thick leathery tongue lick the back of his ears.

"Hey!" Bugs protested. The rabbit shook off the slobbery residue. A portion of Bugs' anger subsided when he saw Mickey's playful pup, Pluto panting at him. Calmly, Bugs scooted out of the burrow, and patted Pluto's head. "Can you show me where th' mouse is? I gotta give him a message." Bugs requested.

"Ruff-ruff!" Pluto happily obliged. The hound stuck his nose to the ground and walked on. Pluto lead the way to the castle's main doors. Only now did the dog lift his head. Pluto stood on his hind legs and gave the door enough of a shove to open it on his own. Immediately the dog continued his search by lowering his sniffer to the floor. The rabbit held the door to let himself in after Pluto. The hound only followed his nose for a moment when he raised his head again and pointed. Dead ahead of Pluto, Bugs spied a plump black cat hardly fitting in a white suit. The mass of villainous toon glowered over Mickey.

"Well if it isn't everybody's favorite mouse." Pete rasped.

"Yeah Pete. I really gotta be on my way." Mickey stated impatiently. But the hulking cat wasn't budging. The fur on Pluto's back ruffled up. Impulses drove Pluto to charge at Pete.

"Ar-ar-ar-arf! Ar-ar-arf-arf!" Pluto barked viciously. When caught by surprise, Pete demonstrated the ferocity of a toon kitten. He jumped to the ceiling in fright and entangled himself in the blue balloons. In typical toon fashion, Pete looked down at the impossible height he scaled, then dropped like a rock. The cat belly flopped hard and a loud 'boom' resonated from the floor. Pete winced while red and white stars raced around his head. However Mickey, Pluto, and Bugs couldn't be bothered by that display.

"Pluto! Aw, good dog." Mickey rewarded. He welcomed his pal with open arms. Pluto licked his master's face and jumped around. After Mickey patted Pluto to settle him down, the mouse lifted his gaze. By the loud crunching of a carrot, Mickey noticed Bugs' presence.

"Bugs! Oh, boy! I'm glad you're here." Mickey rejoiced. But Bugs didn't appear glad to see Mickey. His eyelids half drooped over a dead stare. His nose twitched irritably. The stoic rabbit didn't even exchange a 'hello' to his old friend. Instead he pointed his carrot at Pete.

"I t'ought dey always landed on der' feet." Bugs taunted. The big cat pushed himself off the floor. Not wanting to face Mickey's reinforcements, he scrambled for the exit.

"I hope that brother of yours has the nerve to knock you off your pedestal!" Pete huffed to Mickey before slamming the front door behind him.

"What crawled under his skin?" Bugs queried. "Never mind. I don't care. Where are da Warners?" The rabbit corrected himself.

"I don't know. Yakko just ran off in a hurry." The mouse answered worriedly. Bugs scowled in frustration. He rummaged through his hammerspace, and pulled out a grey teddy bear wearing a red tie. The looney rabbit showed the teddy bear to the dog.

"Sniff 'em out, Pluto." Bugs commanded. The golden hound took in several whiffs of the stuffed animal, while Mickey stood in baffled silence. Straight away Pluto found the scent and chased after it. Mickey and Bugs followed close to Pluto's heels.

"Bugs, what's going on?" Mickey inquired urgently.

"You'll see." Bugs dismissed.

February 10, 2006 9:39 pm

Due to all the attention, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit hadn't the chance to dance with his wife all night. Karaoke was an enjoyable substitute. The karaoke room was devoid of a stage. So a performer stood on a neon red rubber spot on the floor. Humble as the 'stage' was, it vibrantly stood out from the rest of the black and purple room under the blacklights. More than once, Ortensia and Oswald shared the red spot for a duet.

The couple crooned two harmonizing blue notes, and bowed their heads in unison. An excited applaud followed. Oswald could read the joy in his Disney friends' eyes; a joy more likely caused by his and Ortensia's relationship, rather than his and her singing. That had to be the reason. Just moments ago the crowd heard performances from toons with the voice talents of Billy Joel, Phil Harris, Louis Prima, and Bing Crosby. Oswald knew he and his wife didn't hold a candle to those toons. Whatever the reason, Oswald was glad his friends were glad. The rabbit linked arms with his wife. Ortensia held her magenta dress at her side as her husband escorted her back to their new friends from Warner Brothers.

Wakko and Dot bounced up and down on couch cushions and awed at the effect the blacklights had on their already pale faces. Their antics kept most toons at bay, until Oswald and Ortensia returned. Then the two Warner siblings dropped out of the air and made room for the rabbit and cat to sit on the couch.

"That last one was beautiful." Dot complimented. 'For a comedy routine.' Oswald thought with a smirk on his face.

"Thank you, sweetie." Ortensia beamed. She nuzzled at Oswald's side. "We used to dance to that one at all our friends' weddings." The cat reminisced.

"A wedding song for wedding singers." Oswald finally spoke his mind. Ortensia elbowed his ribs.

"Oh stop it, you!" She huffed. Oswald looked around the room at all the Disney singers and music enthusiasts.

"Well... we're not a bad group, if you don't count the choking parrot." Oswald further critiqued. Wakko and Dot wildly laughed. Ortensia hiccupped a surprised giggle.

"Yeah. Who's idea was it to give Gilford Goddfried a voice acting role anyway?" Wakko cringed, biting his tongue.

"I don't know. Maybe Eisner?" Oswald played along. Suddenly the lucky rabbit's lighthearted mood began to dull. "Oh, no. Look who decided to grace us with his presence." Oswald groaned, pointing his ears toward the entrance. Ortensia, Wakko, and Dot followed the rabbit's cue. A strapping young man suited in red, marched the full perimeter of the room to gain everyone's attention. Accompanying the man were three doe eyed blonde maidens holding on his biceps. When the four neared Oswald and company, the arrogant hunter demonstrated his strongest talents to his women; flexing his muscles and making conversation out of catchphrases.

"Nobody sings like Gaston." He proudly announced, making his blonde admirers dreamily sigh.

"Is this an act?" Dot asked.

"No. That's normal for him." Ortensia answered tiredly.

"Nobody breaks a leg like Gaston." Gaston proclaimed. Oswald stood up abruptly. He was already fed up with Gaston's parade.

"Oh yeah, Gaston? Prove it!" Oswald challenged. Without a fault, Oswald detached his left leg. He presented the limb in hand to Gaston. The blonde triplets gasped and looked amongst themselves uncertainly. For a moment Gaston seemed conflicted about accepting Oswald's dare. Then the hunter took everyone by surprise when he pulled his straight leg backward by the toes. He struggled to wrench his femur at a higher angle until he was forced to the floor by a deafening crack. Frantically Gaston's fair blonde admirers cocooned around him. Ortensia hurried to her hero's side. She held his hand in congratulation and he kissed her hand in return.

"C'mon sweetheart. We should get outta here before I have to defend my title." Oswald jested. Over his shoulder, he found the children he met just hours ago, standing very close to him. "Wakko? Dot?" Oswald simply invited. The two Warner siblings gladly lead their current best friends by the wrists out of the karaoke room. Oswald and Ortensia laughed amusedly. Personally Oswald didn't want it any other way. He didn't want to leave these fun characters behind. Suddenly the Warners leapt from the blacklights into heavy, white, blazing ordinary light. Oswald and Ortensia squinted and rubbed their eyes, but the Warners went completely screwy. They shielded their eyes and threw themselves about the corridor.

"I think I'm burning! AHHHHH! What a world!" Dot shrieked.

"My face melted off!" Wakko screamed. Oswald bemusedly shook his head. Then without warning, Ortensia got down on her knees and began playing with the kids. She half shielded her eyes with one hand, grabbed Wakko's hand with the other, and planted his gloved palm on her face.

"I can't feel my face! Can you feel mine?" Ortensia dramatically implored. Wakko poked and petted over her face.

"No, I think it melted on the floor!" Wakko wailed, still poking at her chin.

"Here! Let me help you put your face back on!" Ortensia cried. She scooped up two handfuls of nothing and smudged the nothing over Wakko's face. When she let go, Wakko's black eyes were swirl shaped, and white paint striped across his red nose, turning it into a peppermint. Wakko shook his face back to normal.

"Now let me help _you_!" Wakko sneered. He picked Ortensia's pretend face out of his gag bag, and smothered it into her fur. Of course he was cautious not to roughhouse anymore than she did. When it came to making friends, even special ones, Bugs' golden rule was to give what you receive. Wakko let go of Ortensia's face. She couldn't quite sense what changed, so she summoned a mirror from her hammerspace. The cat's pale face was decorated with perfectly circular peppermint cheeks in a blush red glow.

"Wow. How did you learn to do this?" She marveled.

"From school. It's like finger painting but faster." Wakko shrugged. Oswald's snickering reached Ortensia's ears.

"Don't act like that." Ortensia humorously scolded him. "Come here." She instructed, patting a place on the floor.

"Yes, Sugarplum." The rabbit sang. Oswald gave his wife a handkerchief to wipe away the red paint on her face. She accepted it. The lucky rabbit sat down beside his wife on the floor, but he wiggled aside when Dot army crawled her way between them.

"Hey, what about me? Do you think I'll make it?" Dot demanded. Oswald lent Dot a supporting hand as she picked herself off her stomach, and sat up in a comfortable position.

"I think there's a good chance. Especially with these." Oswald suggested, showing pairs of sunglasses in his hands. Though their eyes already adjusted to the light, the Warners made hasty grabs for the shades. Oswald and Ortensia put on sunglasses for the fun of it as well.

"This will make a great picture!" Wakko realized. In a blurr, Wakko set up a tripod and camera. A red light blinked, indicating a timer. The middle Warner raced back to Ortensia's side. "Everybody say Titicaca!" Wakko exclaimed.

"Titicaca!" They chorused. The camera gave a white flash and everyone relaxed their poses. Wakko ran back to the camera with high hopes for the picture's quality. Wakko picked up the camera and reviewed its contents. He made a big smile and his tongue dropped further out of his mouth.

"So how do we look?" Ortensia inquired, removing her shades. Wakko prepared to show everyone the precious captured memory, but a voice stopped him dead in his tracks. Dot turned to the voice as well. It was their brother.

"Dot! Wakko!" Yakko hollered. Not ten feet away, the corridor ended at a flight of stairs. Yakko sprinted up the stairs as if he had seen a ghost. He stumbled over his own feet to halt in front of Dot and the others. "Dot! We gotta... vamoose!" Yakko panted.

"Hey!" Wakko interrupted. He speedily stowed the camera and tripod away in his gag bag, then skipped to his brother for appreciation and reward. "Look who I found!" Wakko prided. Oswald gave Yakko a friendly nod. Wakko already expressed to the rabbit how Yakko was dying to meet him. Though Wakko never disclosed why. Yakko gawked back and forth between his siblings and the inkblot rabbit. This one was unmistakably the real Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

"Good work, sib." The eldest Warner commended in astonishment. "But we'll save the introductions for some other time." Yakko recovered. He couldn't say more, because of a famous golden hound making a scene. The dog plowed into Yakko's leg, nearly knocking the young toon over. Promptly Pluto sat and wagged his tail for Dot. Oswald moved to scratch Pluto's ear.

"Have you two met?" Oswald questioned Dot. The youngest Warner felt curious of Pluto. The hound had his eyes trained on her like he expected her to throw him a bone. Dot held out her hand, and Pluto politely gave her his paw to shake.

"We have now." Dot replied.

"Well he seems to like you." Oswald pointed out. Wakko leaned on Pluto's side and gave him a hug. Pluto, being a very social dog, responded with a big lick on Wakko's face.

"Aww, what a cute puppy!" Wakko enthused. Meanwhile Yakko couldn't stand to waste another second, knowing Bugs was right on their tails.

"Sibs! We need to amscray!" Yakko yelled.

"Something wrong?" Oswald inquired.

"It's our guardian at the front gate." Yakko gulped. "Let's just say when he finds us, he won't be happy to see us." Unbeknownst to Yakko, a pair of grey pointed ears rose up the stairway, slowly revealing Bugs' full image. Wakko and Dot huddled together and trembled at the sight. Oswald grabbed Ortensia's arm protectively. Both rabbits eyed each other and made sour scowls. "But if he finds us at home we might not get in _as much_ trouble. C'mon, we'll sneak out the back door." Yakko planned, just as Bugs stopped his pace behind his charge. The looney rabbit crossed his arms in contempt.

"Ehhh... I wouldn't go dat way, Mac." Bugs spoke up.

"Why not?" Yakko queried, without thinking. He whirled around and stubbed his nose into Bugs' arm. Scared out of his wits, Yakko's eyes popped off his face, and developed their own mouths to screech in Bugs' face. Yakko's eyes darted back to him as the eldest Warner cowered at the enraged rabbit's presence.

"You double-crossin' so-and-so's are _grounded!_ " Bugs berated. "You're grounded six feet under till ya forget da last time ya've seen da light of day! Do you understand!? I'm ashamed of you Docs! I'm da only toon dat's evah cared for ya unconditionally, and dis is da t'anks I get!? Afta all I've done, ya dupe me at da foist chance! Sure, I can take dat. I can take lies, and backstabbing, and disrespect!" The grey rabbit ranted. "But I draw da line when somebody dupes my nephew." Bugs threatened in a darker tone. The corridor was dead silent. No toon even dared to breathe. That is, except Yakko.

"Because that's _your_ job." Yakko sassed. Steam visibly blew out of the grey rabbit's ears.

"What did you say?!" Bugs demanded. Yakko prepared to get everything off his chest from yesterday.

"You're the backstabber! You lied to us all this time!" Yakko voiced. He decided to test his luck. "Why didn't you just tell us you had a son?!" Bugs' mouth gaped for a second. Those words coming from Yakko, startled Bugs into a silent stupor. "What, you just never really liked us that much? Jack Warner forbid these rotten kids ever speak your perfect son's name lest they dishonor his memory?" Yakko prattled. "Are your three best students not good enough? Are my sibs and I just not _ART_ enough for you?" The teen Warner badgered.

"Dat's not true!" Bugs finally objected.

"Then what is the truth, Bugs?!" Yakko desperately implored. "I wanna hear what else you've kept from us, and I wanna hear it now! So I'm not leaving this spot until you cough it up." Yakko shouted.

"You don't get to make dat call, kid. Get ta burrowin', NOW!" Bugs asserted, pointing to the way he came. The eldest Warner pretended to consider Bugs' argument.

"No." Yakko said simply.

"No?" Bugs repeated, astonished.

"By the way, I wanna know what your problem is with Oswald." Yakko antagonized.

"Yakko..." Bugs growled in warning.

"He's the reason you didn't want us coming here, isn't he?" Yakko predicted.

"Enough!" Bugs shot. "We're goin' home dis instant, Yakko! Even if I have ta drag ya by da tail every step of da way! Wakko, Dot, march!" The rabbit bellowed. Wakko was the first to run for the stairs. Dot hung her head sadly. She gave Ortensia a parting glance and slowly forced herself to walk away. Bugs caught the princess Warner's shoulder. "Here." Bugs sighed. He handed the grey teddy bear in the red tie over to Dot. She immediately cuddled it for comfort. Yakko still felt agitated and fired up, but without his siblings at his side, it seemed he had lost this battle. He was tired, confused, and thought Bugs hurt him now more than ever. Taking his first steps out of the corridor, Yakko met eyes with Mickey, who witnessed the whole scene. Bugs said nothing to the mouse as he herded the Warner siblings onward.

Mickey cautiously approached his brother, who looked utterly despondent.

"Oswald, I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I... I shouldn't have invited Bugs out here after all." Mickey regretted. But Bugs Bunny wasn't the real reason Oswald felt so upset. Truthfully Oswald didn't know if he himself knew the real reason. The black rabbit let his hand limply fall out of Ortensia's grasp.

"I think I need to be alone." Oswald sighed. The black rabbit took flight, to gain further distance from Mickey, Ortensia, and Pluto. He ignored their pleas for him to stay. The black rabbit soared to another wing, and swooped down another stairwell where he thought he could find solitude. He jetted inside a pink room heavily decorated in mirrors, a lace covered table set, painted plates, teapots, and group photos of Minnie, Daisy, and Clarabelle. Minnie's tea room would serve well as Oswald's unsuspecting hiding place. So he thought.

Oswald pushed a couple pillows out of the way to sit down at the window seat. From his view, he couldn't see many toons outside. Strombolli, packed up his gypsy cart. The Mad Hatter and the March Hare whirled away in a giant tea cup. Of course, Bugs and the kids were long gone. Oswald slouched and rested his chin in his hands. The tea room's doorknob clicked as someone let themselves in. Oswald had a hunch it was Mickey, coming to his big brother's rescue like he always did. But instead of Mickey's voice, the tapping sound of a cane caught the rabbit's attention. An aged duck with an authoritative presence addressed him.

"Oswald? What are ye doin' in here?" The black rabbit gave Scrooge McDuck a puzzled look. "Ah saw ye flyin' in here like yer wee tail was ablaze." Scrooge explained himself. "Wha's wrong, lad?"

"Nothing, Scrooge." The rabbit muttered. To Oswald's dismay, the old duck wouldn't let him be.

"Ah dinnae get rich by being a sucker. Wha's really wrong?" Scrooge prodded. Oswald bowed his head thoughtfully.

"I don't know how to explain it. I just met these three kids that look like me. They all had the brightest and funniest personalities. We were having a ball when _Bugs Bunny,_ of all toons, barged in and swept them away from me. Hearing Bugs yell at those kids like that made me steamed. At least I think I was angry, or heartbroken or something... but I don't know what or why. So I just feel confused." The rabbit described.

"Almost like a sense of Deja vu?" Scrooge suggested.

"Déjà vu?" Oswald repeated unsurely.

"Well as ah understand it, this isnnae the first time ye've lost someone on account of Bugs Bunny." The rabbit could hardly believe his ears. He anxiously scooted to the edge of the window seat.

"You know!? You know about the inkwell?" Oswald exclaimed. Scrooge nodded calmly.

"Aye. Timothy tells me everything, the wee blether." The duck revealed. "Maybe it's a daft idea, but ah have seen crazier things. It wouldnae be right tae dismiss it without tellin' ye." Scrooge considered.

"Tell me what?" Oswald snapped. "I'm emotionally scarred from losing Oswald Junior?" The rabbit held his tongue suddenly. He hadn't called the inkwell's contents by name in a long time. "I know that already, Scrooge."

"Lad, how much would ye say these children resemble ye?" Scrooge implied. Oswald blinked. As if a switch had flicked on in his head, Oswald understood. He knew he liked those kids for a reason. His sons and daughter... they were animated and alive!

"You really think they could be _my_ family?" The rabbit hoped. Scrooge took a firm hold of Oswald's shoulder.

"Go with your gut, lad. A family's too precious tae lose." Scrooge counseled.

"I'll look into it. Thanks Scrooge." Oswald smiled with determination.

Outside the tea room, Clarabelle Cow pressed her bronze cowbell between the wall and her ear, while her lifelong friend Horace Horsecollar shielded his face in shame.

"Did you hear that? Word on the street is, Oswald's got relations to the Warner brothers and sister." Clarabelle alerted.

"Oh, hogwash Clarabelle." Horace ignored.


	9. The Secret

February 10, 2006 10:25 pm

Underneath Toontown, Bugs drove the Warners onward through the earthy tunnels. The looney rabbit never gave the kids a chance to slow down or dawdle. No one spoke, only panted. Bugs blew off steam by chasing the Warners' tails all the way home. When they arrived in the garden, Yakko was the first one above ground. Bugs let the Warners scramble upward. If not for a reasonable amount of restraint, the rabbit would have physically booted the kids out of the burrow. Bugs leapt up, finding the petrified Warners staring at him. The rabbit glowered, and pointed to the front door. The Warners scurried to the castle. When Yakko yanked the grand doors open, he had half the mind to slam them shut in Buster's face. Wakko noticeably gasped at the sight of the blue rabbit. Clyde was there too, but the Warners hardly acknowledged him. Bugs lightly shoved the Warner siblings over the threshold, to make his way in. The heavy door latched close like rolling thunder. Bugs marched away from the younger toons, with his fists clenched at his sides.

"Family meeting. Dat means you too, Buster." The grey rabbit informed. Hesitantly, the five younger toons followed some distance behind Bugs. Yakko and Buster walked shoulder to shoulder, as did Wakko and Clyde. Dot lingered in the back of the group.

"Thanks a lot, Traitor." Yakko hissed under his breath. Buster looked alarmed.

"What?!" The tiny toon exclaimed.

"Next time we need help stabbing our own backs, we'll call you." Yakko growled.

"I had to do something..." Buster began.

"You're one to talk, Yakko." Clyde interupted. "And Wakko and Dot. You guys locked me in a room and ran away!"

"Put a sock in it, Clyde. You weren't hurt." Yakko snapped.

"On the outside." Clyde huffed.

"It's not like we could risk putting our faith in you. You're too loyal to Bugs for your own good." Dot claimed. Clyde looked ready to defend himself and his uncle's good name, but Dot shot back first. "That's why you lied to cover up Art too." She blamed. The Warner brothers glared accusingly at Clyde.

"That makes you just as guilty as Bugs." Wakko stated as a matter of fact. Clyde nervously glanced at Buster. But the blue rabbit kept his back to Clyde, with his eyes trained ahead.

"I was waiting for Uncle Bugs to tell you." Clyde cautiously admitted.

"Yeah, right!" The Warners chorused. The group halted suddenly when Bugs opened a door for them. Yakko slowly lead the way into the light emerald office space, the same place he hacked Bugs' computer for a hint of Oswald's identity. A chill ran down Yakko's spine. He dreaded he and his sibs were in even more trouble than Bugs let on. The looney rabbit held the door until Yakko, Buster, Wakko, Clyde, and Dot walked into the office.

"Wait here." Bugs ordered, and shut the door on the five toons. Yakko took the opportunity to corner Buster.

"You promised you wouldn't turn stool pigeon." Yakko berated. Buster folded his arms and eyed the wall to avoid Yakko. He didn't need to be lectured about what was at stake. "I thought you were supposed to help us." Yakko continued.

"I _did_ help you. I told you everything I know about Art, didn't I?" Buster spoke up.

"Yeah, and then you ratted us out to Bugs!" Yakko argued.

"It was the right thing to do! As your _friend,_ I told you the truth. Also as your friend, I never should've let you go kidnapper hunting or whatever." Buster hastily justified. Buster's complete lack of faith in the Warners' toony abilities shocked Yakko. Animation wise, Buster and Yakko were both drawn to be fourteen years old. Yet the blue rabbit treated the Warners like infants: So Yakko thought.

"We were doing just fine at that party!" Yakko shouted. "We're zany, for Friz's sake! Do you really think we can't handle another bad guy?!"

"No!" Buster cried. "I know you can! That's why I had to stop you!" Yakko's jaw twitched awkwardly.

"What do you mean?" The teen Warner spat out. The blue rabbit fidgeted nervously with his gloves. Sweat drops rolled down his face. With every word Buster dug his grave deeper, and Yakko showed him no mercy. Stares from three sets of black eyes and one set of blue, urged Buster to keep talking.

"I know you guys can handle anything. You're too crazy to quit until you get what you want. But that's your problem." Buster responded bitterly. He scowled at Yakko. "You think you're invincible, but you'll just burn out trying to find Art. Just like Bugs did." Buster warned. Something struck Yakko mentally. A lightbulb sparked in his mind. 'I just wanna know why Bugs kept his son a secret.'

"Who said anything about _finding_ Art?" Yakko wondered out loud. Buster's eyes shifted to the right for half a second. Sensing a change, Wakko and Dot moved to Yakko's side to defend him. "You didn't talk to Bugs because it was the right thing to do. You snitched because you don't want us searching for Art." Yakko speculated.

"It's a lost cause!" Buster yelled.

"I don't think you believe that, Buster." Yakko challenged.

"Yakko..." Dot gasped. Yakko didn't take back a word.

"What?! You're insane!" Buster exclaimed.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Wakko, the least keen on badgering Buster, remarked. Dot picked up on the unintentional cue.

"Is it a bad thing, Buster? To search for Art?" The cutest Warner inquired.

"Yes!" Buster blurted without thinking.

"Why shouldn't we look for Art?" Yakko sternly interrogated.

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ART TO COME BACK!" Buster hollered.

"SHUT UP!" Clyde exploded. The tiny rabbit's shrill voice silenced all noise in the office. Shakily, the kit vented out his anger. Buster and the Warners whipped their heads towards Clyde. To their right, the elevator doors surprisingly slid open. Bugs numbly walked into his office, with a burgundy book in hand. He took Clyde in his arms, and gently placed the book on his desk. Solemnly, Bugs rounded the desk, took a seat in his chair, and hugged the distraught kit on his lap. Buster and the Warners unsurely waited for some sort of signal from Bugs.

"C'mere. I won't bite." Bugs sighed tiredly. Yakko, Buster, Wakko, and Dot approached the desk. "I won't yell anymore." Bugs promised. "Neider will anyone else. So we can all stop screamin' at each uddah like a pack of foxes. Undahstood?" Bugs stated sternly. Buster and the Warners nodded. "So, about me son. How much do ya t'ree know?" The guardian rabbit inquired.

"As much as he does." Wakko answered, pointing to Buster. Bugs rubbed over his eyelids, pondering.

"Okay." Bugs mumbled. The looney tune addressed the children he mentored with a dire tone he never used before. "What you kids need ta know right now, is dat... _everyt'ing_ I do is ta protect you. All of you." Bugs declared. He nudged the burgundy book towards them.

"Go ahead. Look." Bugs permitted. Wakko dared to touch the book cover. The middle Warner flipped to a random laminated page. Suddenly Art Bunny's life was laid out before the young toons in photographs. In the top left picture the little grey, dark eyed kit fed carrots to a non-animated donkey. Below that was a photo of Art, wearing half an ice cream sundae on his face. Buster eagerly turned pages. In other photographs, Art played the guitar, rode his bike, ran in blurred motion with Road Runner, and played hopscotch on his hands. To Yakko, Art was no longer the stuff of legends. Of course Yakko still imagined the kit as Bugs' perfect protégé. But now he knew Art was a regular toon kid too.

"Art and Clyde were my whole woild. When we lost Art and Salem, I felt like I couldn't breathe. And it only got... hardah n' hardah ta breathe as da months went by." Bugs shuddered. The grey rabbit held his nephew a little tighter. "During Tiny Toon Adventures' run, I struggled da most. I was at constant war with meself, makin' sacrifices for my son or my students. Eventually it all became too much, and I had ta make da choice... ta help da kids who was here, instead of da kids who was missin'." The rabbit grimly confessed. Subconsciously, Bugs looked to Buster for forgiveness. The two had this talk before. "I'd nevah say time heals all wounds. But den time can make a good anesthetic." Bugs riddled. "I'm sorry if I evah neglected ya for Art's case, Doc." He apologized to Buster.

"It's not your fault, Teach." Buster sympathized. "He was your son. You were still grieving." Yakko glared suspiciously at the tiny toon's apparent change of attitude.

"So, correct me if I'm wrong." Yakko interrupted. "Your son was kidnapped, and it's painful to talk about forevermore. That's the only reason you never mentioned Art to us?" The eldest Warner inquired.

"I almost wish I had a bettah reason. But dat's th' truth." Bugs admitted.

"So you adopted us because you didn't want any more toon kids, especially three orphans, to go missing." Dot figured. Bugs' gaze fell to the desk. He remained silent for a suspenseful amount of time. There was no going back from here, Bugs accepted. The rabbit slowly met his former students' eyes again.

"Dat n' more. I nevah wanted you t'ree ta go missin'... or be found." Bugs revealed. His former students glanced to each other in shock and confusion. Their hands gripped the edge of the desk anxiously. The photo album was completely forgotten. "I had a responsibility ta protect you t'ree long before you was drawn. It's da biggest secret I evah kept from anybody." Bugs informed. Finally Clyde showed signs of animation as he curiously peeked up at his uncle. "Talk about Art all ya want. But what I'm about ta tell ya _nevah_ leaves dis room. Is dat crystal clear?" Bugs steadily proclaimed. Yakko, Wakko, Dot, and Buster nodded. "Clyde?" Bugs checked.

"Uh-huh." The kit muttered.

"Good." Bugs acknowledged. The rabbit started off his tragic tale. "It all began in mid December, nineteen eighty-t'ree. My good ol' pal Mickey Mouse, stopped by da house ta ask me a favor. Walt Disney left a... magically cryptic last will. Da mouse, or rathah his creator, drafted me ta help decrypt some t'ings." The four young toons scowled skeptically. This story sounded like a thread only Bugs Bunny could spin.

"Are you serious?" Buster critiqued.

"As serious as I'll evah be." Bugs insisted. "Walt had somet'in' in mind for Mickey aftah he passed, and da mouse needed my help ta find it." He further explained. The term 'it' puzzled Buster and the Warners.

"Did he have lots of money buried somewhere?" Wakko asked. The edge of Bugs' mouth hinted an amused smile.

"No. Far from money." Bugs answered. "But dat's anoddah story. Da point bein', I was recruited ta help find da gold at th' end of da rainbow." He continued. "We was sent ta Two Tone Town ta track down some old toons. One of which was Sadie Cat, alias Ortensia Cat." Bugs noticed Wakko and Dot silently gasped. "I really had no idea da trouble Walt was gettin' me into. We showed up on Ortensia's doorstep in Two Tone Town with nothin' planned, nothin' ta say. She opened da door, n' gave us a mute earful. Basically she told Mickey what for in sign language, and slammed da door in our faces. Dat's when everyt'ing changed." Bugs indicated. "I knocked on da door, n' she tried ta pound me with a springed boxing glove. I dodged n' let myself in. Da mouse and I had an agenda ta speak with her, and I wouldn't be toined away so easily. Well Miss Cat tore da whole house apart tryin' ta kick me out. In all th' chaos, I accidentally picked up somet'ing of hers in me hammahspace." The looney rabbit told.

"How exactly does a toon accidentally use his hammerspace?" Dot interrogated. Bugs graciously diverted from the grave topic, even if only for a moment.

"Remember I always taught ya ta have a back-up hammahspace aside from da one on your back?" Bugs reminded his former students. "Dat cat lodged somet'ing in me ear by mistake." Bugs specified. "It wasn't until th' next morning I loined what had happened. I plucked an inkwell outta me ear. An inkwell with a name on it." The grey rabbit disclosed. Bugs wondered if he needed to explain what his actions meant in inkblot society.

"What was the name?" Wakko questioned.

"O.R. Junior." Bugs sighed. Suddenly Buster and the Warners voiced their comments, questions, and concerns in a loud incoherent noise. It seemed they understood the tragedy of Ortensia and her essentially unborn child all too well. Bugs blew a sharp whistle to silence them. "One at a time! Dot, shoot!" Bugs commanded.

"What happened to Ortensia and Oswald's baby?!" Dot inquired. 'Ortensia and Oswald?' Yakko echoed mentally.

"Wait, wait. Rewind a sec." Yakko interjected.

"Ybab s'dlawsO dna aisnetrO ot deneppah tahw." Dot obliged. Yakko paused to give his sister a half amused glance.

"Ahhh... Am I missing something? Are Oswald and this cat an item?" Yakko wondered.

"You met Oswald and his wife at the party just before Bugs caught up to us." Dot recapped, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, we weren't exactly properly introduced." The eldest Warner countered.

"Alright. That'll do, Docs." Bugs placated to cease the siblings' oncoming bickering. "It was my duty to retoin da inkwell ta Ortensia. Mickey and I went back to her residence at th' break of dawn. Howevah, da place was empty n' abandoned when we got der'. Th' cat skipped town." Bugs answered solemnly.

"And Oswald?" Dot wondered.

"He was... traveling da woild at da time." Bugs phrased carefully. The black rabbit's near fatal habits were better left unsaid. "So I held onto th' inkwell for a couple weeks, until one day in January... it slipped from me hand. To dis day, I don't know how, I don't know exactly when, but I lost th' inkwell somewhere on da Warnah Brothahs studio lot." He recalled sorrowfully.

"That's why Oswald hates you." Wakko learned. Something in Wakko's words surprised Bugs. Not that they weren't true, but still surprising.

"Who did ya hear dat from?" The grey rabbit queried.

"Mickey. When you were talking on the phone, he said Oswald didn't hate you anymore. But you didn't believe him because..." Wakko trailed off.

"I overheard you on the phone yesterday." Yakko clarified. "I got suspicious when you wouldn't tell us we were invited to Oswald's party. And it was my idea to sneak out of the house." Yakko admitted, taking full responsibility. "I'm sorry, Bugs. I had no idea." He genuinely apologized.

"It's alright, Doc. I was in da wrong too. I nevah should've kept secrets from you kids, no mattah how much da truth hoits." Bugs retuned. "Dat's why I gotta be straight with ya now, n' hope ya can forgive me." Before the kids could ask any more questions, Bugs let the cat out of the bag. "I know what happened ta th' ink in O.R. Junior's inkwell." He declared. Swiftly, Clyde squirmed out of Bugs' arms, and hopped up on the desk.

"What?!" The kit squeaked. This was obviously news even to him. Bugs nodded in affirmation.

"Bugs, what did you do?" Buster beseeched. He could only imagine the worst. Carefully Bugs took one last look at Clyde, with a bleak hope that someone may still trust him after the night.

"Toons were brought ta life from dat ink. I didn't witness what happened, but when I hoid da stories I knew dat inkwell had ta be da cause of it." Bugs recalled. "As I hoid it, paintahs were ready ta paint in da foist living cel of t'ree new toon stars. An old inkwell spilled out and th' black ink took shape ovah t'ree anthropomorphic ducks. It weren't no ink splatter either. Witnesses say it looked as if da lifeless toons was paintin' themselves. Th' ducks was all goofed up with black ink over green feathers, long mammalian ears and tails, and such. It coulda all ended der'. Da cell coulda been scrapped and th' anomaly coulda been forgotten. Luckily th' animation director was in th' room and felt inspired. With a lot of touching up, and reuse of da classic ink for good luck, th' animation team tried again. Dey was aiming for ducks, but what dey got was you t'ree: Yakko, Wakko, and Dot." Bugs confessed. Clyde and Buster stared at the Warners like they had become complete strangers. Similarly, the Warners perceived their rabbit 'family' in a dimmer light. To cope, Wakko clumsily backed away from the desk and pulled on his ears. Yakko looked horrorstricken into Bugs' eyes. Dot picked up Art's photo album, and threw it on the floor.

"All this time we had a real mom and dad?!" Dot cried in outrage.

"Yeah. A real mom who abandoned us, and a real dad who's never around." Yakko muttered pessimistically.

"Shut up, Yakko!" Dot snapped without thinking. "How could you do this to us?" Dot demanded of Bugs.

"I did my best ta keep ya safe." Bugs proclaimed. "You t'ree were my responsibility before and afta' you was animated ta life. But den ya became my family too. Even now I find I love ya too much ta let you go." Emotion seemed to drain from Bugs' face with every word. A twenty-two year old secret no longer weighed on his chest. But he didn't feel any better; just tired. "What's done is done. Now it's best ya nevah see Oswald n' his kin evah again." Bugs stated stoically.

"What?!" The Warners gasped.

"But that's not fair!" Dot argued. Bugs stood up from his seat, signaling that the private discussion was over. With a blank expression, he rounded the desk and picked Art's photo album off the floor. Dot expected to hear a lecture for her disrespect, but none came.

"Off ta bed. We'll talk more in da morning." Bugs signed off. "Buster, walk with me." The looney rabbit invited. Bugs strolled to the office's doorway, and held the door open to dismiss his charges. Buster obediently joined Bugs at his side. One by one, the Warners plus Clyde filed out of the room. Dot's heavy steps paused at the exit. She glared up at Bugs.

"They deserve to know we're alive." Dot asserted in a low whisper. Bugs wasn't fazed. Clearly he stood by his judgement.

"Goodnight, Princess." The rabbit said calmly. Defeated, Dot stormed off. Meanwhile, Yakko kept a comforting hand on Wakko's shoulder, and led him up to their rooms. The brothers roamed ruby red hallways and a golden railed stairwell without haste. By Bugs' description, this was their last chance to move about freely, for a long time. When Dot stampeded by them, Yakko made a mental note to check up on her after lights out. He imagined bringing Wakko along too, so the Warners Three could take the most logical course of action during this state of crisis: Hide under the covers, and pretend nothing bad ever happened.

Yakko pictured the three hunkered under a pink blanket tent on Dot's bed. Dot would have her say about Bugs. But big brother Yakko, would qualm her fears by whispering haunting tales into a flashlight. Letting go of his daydream, Yakko agreed with himself to distract his siblings with plenty of ghost stories. He would tell his siblings anything to get their frightened and agitated minds off... their parents. In one night Yakko, Wakko, and Dot found themselves caught between two broken families. Rabbit and Bunny. Disney and Warner Brothers. Lucky for Yakko, there was no contest. He knew which toon was family and which studio was home. He and his siblings just had to carry Bugs' secret burden now. Yakko could cope, as long as Wakko and Dot could do the same. Together.

Yakko knew the Bunny family of five did not stick together this long, because of a secret. It took love, laughs, and some sticky tree sap. Yakko started to cheer up. He trusted that Wakko and Dot would be back on Bugs' side in no time. Their family would stick together for years to come, just the same. In his musing, Yakko's hand slipped from Wakko's shoulder. Wakko immediately grasped his brother's hand. Yakko looked down with some alarm.

"What's the matter?" Yakko asked out of habit. Wakko paused, looking anywhere but up.

"I miss Oswald." Wakko whimpered.


End file.
